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My German's a bit rusty...
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Baloo</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,2,31,23,12,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">March 31, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">11:12 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I think I won an award. Can anyone translate the following?<p><blockquote>Deine Homepage bekommt den Rang Lieutenant Commander von Svens StarTrek<br>Page <br>verliehen. Wenn Du die Awardgrafik in Deine Homepage einbinden m�chtest,<br>benutze bitte diesen<p><center><A HREF="http://www.trekbase.de.cx"><IMG SRC="http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/Svens.gif" BORDER=0></A><br>Diese Auszeichnung wurde vergeben von <A HREF="http://www.trekbase.de.cx">Svens StarTrek Page</A></CENTER><p><br>Vergesse nicht auch die Awardgrafik "online zu bringen" !!<p>Life long and prosper Sven</blockquote><p><center><IMG SRC="http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/BalooAni.gif"><br><IMG SRC="http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/Blinky.gif"></center><p>------------------<br>CONSUMER NOTICE:<br>Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.<br><p><small>[This message was edited by Baloo on March 31, 1999.]</small> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>DeadCujo</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,2,31,23,28,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">March 31, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">11:28 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Your web page was given a rank of Lieutenant Commander by Sven...or something like that <IMG SRC="http://solareclipse.net/Forums/smile.gif"><P>------------------<BR>The Unknown Vulcan<br> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>RW</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,3,1,5,8,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 01, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">05:08 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <br>If you want to include the award image in your homepage, please use this one. This award was given by Sven's star trek page. Don't forget to upload the award image (I think)<p><br> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Bernd</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,3,1,7,0,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 01, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">07:00 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> "benutze bitte diesen..." There's something missing in this sentence, anyway, my help is not needed this time.<p>BTW: I love your customer notices!<P>------------------<BR>I know engineers - they love to change things. (McCoy, STTMP)<br> <A HREF="http://www.uni-siegen.de/~ihe/bs/startrek/" TARGET=_blank>www.uni-siegen.de/~ihe/bs/startrek/</A> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Baloo</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,3,1,22,45,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 01, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">10:45 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Thanks, Bernd!<p>The consumer warnings and advisories you've been seeing under my posts were found on a science website by a friend of mine. The only credit I can claim for them is recognizing that they are funny and taking the time to copy them down.<p><center><IMG SRC="http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/Blinky.gif"></center><P>------------------<BR>ADVISORY:<br>There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Known as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.<p> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>TSN</b> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(1999,3,2,2,39,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 02, 1999</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:39 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Well, I don't know where you found them, but <a href="http://geddis.tesserae.com/funny/quotes/physics-product-warnings">here</a>'s where I had seen them before...<P>------------------<BR>"I'll bite your legs off!"<br>-John Cleese, <i>Monty Python and the Holy Grail</i><br> <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
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