1. You comprehend the distinction between "England" and "Britain"
2. You comprehend the distinction between "Great Britain" and "United Kingdom"
3. You can name all the Spice girls (real names that is), as well as someone in the UK government other than the PM.
4. Use of the phrase "Suits you, sir!" raises a smile.
5. You say "I suppose" and never "I guess"
6. You eat chips with fried fish from a take-away, not from a foil bag whilst watching TV
7. You do not know the words to the American national anthem.
8. If a news report shows foreigners burning your nation's flag you couldn't care less, and return to your crisp munching with a smirk.
9. You can identify on a map the location of Ibiza.
10. You cannot survive a day without a soothing cup of tea.
11. Your car works on petrol, and runs on motorways.
12. You think that cold is wholesome.
13. You're never sure if you'll need an umbrella.
14. You feel oddly paternal about Americans.
15. You have an irrational distrust of the French
16. You can correctly respond when addressed "Ay, oop, Chuck!"
17. For you, bread is intimately associated with steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire and brass bands.
18. You are very fond of dogs. Especially small bulldogs, whom you find cute.
19. You do not know the rules of American Football, nor wish to know.
20. You find cricket far more relaxing than baseball.
How do you score?
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"You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak."
- Chris Morris, Brass Eye
13 out of 20, if you're generous?
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Quark: "Lesson number one: No one involved in extra-legal activity considers himself nefarious." (DS9: "The Sound of Her Voice")
I think what the British refer to as tea is often called English breakfast tea in the US.
None of that crappy fruit tea.
And Earl Grey can go jump.
Mmm, cup of typhoo. Luvely jubely.
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'You want the moon on a stick, don't you?'
-Richard Herring
That's 10.... halfway there...
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Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-dink, Skin-a-ma-rinky-doo...
-Sharon, Lois and Bram
2.) Great Britain is both halves of the name of the aforementioned island. The United Kingdom is that, Northern Ireland, and a few other little places here and there.
3.) Er... Well, Geri Halliwell used to be a Spice Girl. And I know one is Melanie Chisholm, 'cause I just mentioned in another thread that she has the same birthday as me. Other than that... *shakes head*
As for someone in the gov't... How about the Minister for Putting Things on Top of Other Things? :-)
4.) *doesn't get it*
5.) I do both.
6.) I do neither.
7.) I don't know the words to the British national anthem, but I know the words to the American song of the same tune... :-)
8.) *tries to care less* Mm... Nope, can't do it.
9.) Of what now?
10.) *plots to destroy all the tea and see how many Brits it kills*
11.) Not if I can help it!
12.) You think your weather's bad...?!
13.) *doesn't usually walk around in the rain, anyway*
14.) If I did that, I'd be my own father... Whoops, temporal paradox! :-)
15.) Just one... ;-)
16.) I think CC should field that question... *L*
17.) I take it you guys don't eat many sandwiches...?
18.) Why would anyone want a dog that looks like it had a high-speed, head-on collision w/ a stationary object?
19.) How many rules must one know in order to "know the rules"?
20.) "Cricket?! Nobody understands cricket! You have to know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!" -Raphael, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I guess that last, unnumbered question adds the sexual innuendo apparently necessary in every thread around here these days... *grin*
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"I see you've found your Nausicaan friend. You seem unimpaled so far..."
-Q to Picard, "Tapestry"
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Clones are People Two
"The Force is like duct tape: it has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together"
([[[[[[*]}�������������������������
2. You comprehend the distinction between "Great Britain" and "United Kingdom"
3. You can name all the Spice girls (real names that is), as well as someone in the UK government other than the PM.
4. Use of the phrase "Suits you, sir!" raises a smile.
5. You say "I suppose" and never "I guess"
6. You eat chips with fried fish from a take-away, not from a foil bag whilst watching TV
BTW, there was a Fish & Chips shop run by expatriot Englishpeople when I was stationes in Sumpter, SC. They had a seasoning they sprinkled on the fish before they served it to you. Complemented the malt vinegar quite well. Can anyone tell me what it is, or what might be a good suitable substitute for it?
7. You do not know the words to the American national anthem.
8. If a news report shows foreigners burning your nation's flag you couldn't care less, and return to your crisp munching with a smirk.
9. You can identify on a map the location of Ibiza.
10. You cannot survive a day without a soothing cup of tea.
11. Your car works on petrol, and runs on motorways.
12. You think that cold is wholesome.
13. You're never sure if you'll need an umbrella.
14. You feel oddly paternal about Americans.
15. You have an irrational distrust of the French
16. You can correctly respond when addressed "Ay, oop, Chuck!"
17. For you, bread is intimately associated with steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire and brass bands.
18. You are very fond of dogs. Especially small bulldogs, whom you find cute.
19. You do not know the rules of American Football, nor wish to know.
20. You find cricket far more relaxing than baseball.
--Baloo
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If God Himself walks up to you and tells you to found a new religeon, ask for some I.D.
You're probably talking to an imposter.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/
1. You comprehend the distinction between "England" and "Britain"
Yep. England, Scotland, and Wales (and associated areas) comprise Britain.
2. You comprehend the distinction between "Great Britain" and "United Kingdom"
Yep. Great Britain doesn't include any part of Ireland. Just the one island.
3. You can name all the Spice girls (real names that is), as well as someone in the UK government other than the PM.
Erm.. Inky, Pinky, Blinky, Clyde and Ms.Pac Man? and... um... Tinky Winky!
4. Use of the phrase "Suits you, sir!" raises a smile.
5. You say "I suppose" and never "I guess"
I suppose I use it a majority of the time, anyway.
6. You eat chips with fried fish from a take-away, not from a foil bag whilst watching TV
I Don't eat chips. Too much salt.
7. You do not know the words to the American national anthem.
"Oh, say.. *mumble mumble*
8. If a news report shows foreigners burning your nation's flag you couldn't care less, and return to your crisp munching with a smirk.
Nope, just add them to the "Wipe off the face of the Earth" list for when I become dictator.
9. You can identify on a map the location of Ibiza.
Um, No.
10. You cannot survive a day without a soothing cup of tea.
Does iced tea count?
11. Your car works on petrol, and runs on motorways.
My car WORKS?!?!??
12. You think that cold is wholesome.
I think that cold is irritating. Then again, I think that virtually everything is irritating.
13. You're never sure if you'll need an umbrella.
I'm never sure if I OWN an umbrella.
4. You feel oddly paternal about Americans.
Yeah, okay, but I'm not paying support anymore!
15. You have an irrational distrust of the French
Noone who distrusts the French does so irrationally. The French are VILE.
16. You can correctly respond when addressed "Ay, oop, Chuck!"
Hoo's yersel?
17. For you, bread is intimately associated with steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire and brass bands.
For me, bread is associated with peanut butter and jelly.
18. You are very fond of dogs. Especially small bulldogs, whom you find cute.
Cats are a superior form of life.
19. You do not know the rules of American Football, nor wish to know.
All American football teams should crash in the Andes and be forced to eat each other. For that matter, so should ALL US professional sports teams.
20. You find cricket far more relaxing than baseball.
And I find lapsing into a coma just as exciting as either.
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You're just JEALOUS because the little voices talk to ME!
And a suitable response to "Ay, oop Chuck!"
would be something like "Aw-ryyyt loov! Che-urs!"
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"You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak."
- Chris Morris, Brass Eye
HA! Have a UK passport anyhow
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---- AAARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!----
I feel better now.
1.,2.
Of course.
3. You can name all the Spice girls (real names that is), as well as someone in the UK government other than the PM.
I can't remember what the G in Mel G stands for. But other than that, yes. And certainly yes to the Government one.
4. Use of the phrase "Suits you, sir!" raises a smile.
:-)
5. You say "I suppose" and never "I guess"
I use both.
6. 7. 8.
Yup.
9. You can identify on a map the location of Ibiza.
Um, more or less.
10. You cannot survive a day without a soothing cup of tea.
I never drink tea or coffee.
11. Your car works on petrol, and runs on motorways.
I don't own a car, but yes.
12. You think that cold is wholesome.
Yup-ish.
13. You're never sure if you'll need an umbrella.
Yup.
14. You feel oddly paternal about Americans.
As in I think that they're delinquent adolescents?
15. You have an irrational distrust of the French
Nope.
16. You can correctly respond when addressed "Ay, oop, Chuck!"
I smack them one in the gob?
17. For you, bread is intimately associated with steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire and brass bands.
Nope.
18. You are very fond of dogs. Especially small bulldogs, whom you find cute.
Nope.
19. 20.
Yup.
My Brit Code:
Brit(W<) H--:-- a-- s+: hf/b- b(+) y-- X---:+ PG/->--- S++ W++ M- R- A++ C- T--- TV++ Ci MuIPZ+WF--- B+++ V-- (v1.1)
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-->Identity Crisis<--
Still think Schroeder will end up Chancellor of Europe.
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there's a bird in the chimney,and a stone in my bed
when the road's washed out,they pass the bottle around
and wait in the arms,of the cold cold ground
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-->Identity Crisis<--
Well, Geri's left (and isn't her solo single one of the most annoying thing's ever to be played on the radio?) and Victoria Adams hasn't married Beckham yet. Mel Brown is married and is now Mel G and I still can't remember what the G stands for.
Gosh I am sad.
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-->Identity Crisis<--
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INSURRECTION
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"You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak."
- Chris Morris, Brass Eye
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"Adventure? Excitement? A Jedi craves not these things!" - Silent Bob
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-->Identity Crisis<--
I look through a few answers and wonder why no one seems to consider the U.K. islands part of the U.K.? i.e. Grand Cayman, etc.
So who gets the passports?
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Quark: "Lesson number one: No one involved in extra-legal activity considers himself nefarious." (DS9: "The Sound of Her Voice")
# 11 Shouldn't that be "motorcar?"
# 15 Irrational distrust of French males yes, but an irrational attraction to French females. {Oooh, Julie Delpy, *sigh*}
The UK includes GB and Northern Ireland and most small surrounding islands, eg.Skye, Orkney, Wight, etc.
The Isle of Man has a funny arrangement where they seem to have semi-independence (most amusing!). The channel Islands, Falklands and other assorted bits & pieces are UK territorial possessions, but not actually in the UK. (Much cafuffle when residents ask for UK passports and the government responds by air-dropping vats of red tape.)
For those out of the know:
[url]http://www.ibiza-info.com/newicon/europe_c.gif [/url]
This is Ibiza, never been there, but most my age have for the purposes of drunken escapades and beach orgies.
Oh, and I drew a little USA flag ona bit of paper about 4cm wide. And then I ripped it up cakling "Bwahahaha!". So I guess I'm now a wanted man! LOL!
And I'd arbitrarily set the score for qualification at 15, being kinda generous.
P.S. If you own Harrods, I'm afraid this offer of nationality does not apply to you.
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"You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak."
- Chris Morris, Brass Eye
[This message was edited by Montgomery on May 14, 1999.]
[This message was edited by Montgomery on May 14, 1999.]
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"You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak."
- Chris Morris, Brass Eye
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"You hear about 'constitutional rights,' 'free speech,' and the 'free press.' Every time I hear these words I say to myself, 'That man is a Red!!...' You never hear a real American talk like that!"
--
Mayor Frank Hague, Jersey City
In response to number 4, definitely a
Do you want it sir
Do you really really want it sir
Oooohhhhh Suits you sir
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The public is wonderfully tolerant - it forgives everything except Genius.
[This message was edited by Orion Syndicate on May 17, 1999.]
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The public is wonderfully tolerant - it forgives everything except Genius.
[This message was edited by Orion Syndicate on May 17, 1999.]
I should think more important things would be in the qualification for a UK passport. For instance the difference between biscuits/cookies, crips/potato chips, chips/fries, jumpers/sweaters, trainers/sneakers, hoovering/vacuuming, flat/apartment, tube/subway, tablets/aspirin etc..
If someone could describe how the Parlimentary system worked.
If someone understands British humour and also finds it histerically funny.
If someone has an irrational love of football/soccer (and doesn't find it irrational)
If someone can convert from dollars to pounds, can use Brit currency without blinking an eye and understands what a "quid" is.
If someone likes salt and vinegar crips.
If someone likes bittermints.
If someone can drink a really strong pint of lager, and knows the difference between lager, ale, stout, and bitter.
and the list continues....
Or, in my case, when one can walk into a store, talk to the proprieter, and be MISTAKEN FOR A NATIVE. *grins*
I think I have already won my passport. Thank you.
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19 days and counting........
*HUGE EFFING BIGASS GRIN*
"Never underestimate the light side .......... ...... of duct tape."
[This message was edited by Jubilee McGann on May 17, 1999.]
Or for that matter, just says 'Fosters'.
And says 'Ta!' instead of 'thanks'
And instead of saying 'hello' or 'hi' just says 'alright'
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'You want the moon on a stick, don't you?'
-Richard Herring