1. You comprehend the distinction between "England" and "Britain"

2. You comprehend the distinction between "Great Britain" and "United Kingdom"

3. You can name all the Spice girls (real names that is), as well as someone in the UK government other than the PM.

4. Use of the phrase "Suits you, sir!" raises a smile.

5. You say "I suppose" and never "I guess"

6. You eat chips with fried fish from a take-away, not from a foil bag whilst watching TV

7. You do not know the words to the American national anthem.

8. If a news report shows foreigners burning your nation's flag you couldn't care less, and return to your crisp munching with a smirk.

9. You can identify on a map the location of Ibiza.

10. You cannot survive a day without a soothing cup of tea.

11. Your car works on petrol, and runs on motorways.

12. You think that cold is wholesome.

13. You're never sure if you'll need an umbrella.

14. You feel oddly paternal about Americans.

15. You have an irrational distrust of the French

16. You can correctly respond when addressed "Ay, oop, Chuck!"

17. For you, bread is intimately associated with steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire and brass bands.

18. You are very fond of dogs. Especially small bulldogs, whom you find cute.

19. You do not know the rules of American Football, nor wish to know.

20. You find cricket far more relaxing than baseball.

How do you score?

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"You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak."

- Chris Morris, Brass Eye

13 out of 20, if you're generous?

I think what the British refer to as tea is often called English breakfast tea in the US.

None of that crappy fruit tea.

And Earl Grey can go jump.

Mmm, cup of typhoo. Luvely jubely.

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'You want the moon on a stick, don't you?'
-Richard Herring

That's 10.... halfway there...

2.) Great Britain is both halves of the name of the aforementioned island. The United Kingdom is that, Northern Ireland, and a few other little places here and there.

3.) Er... Well, Geri Halliwell used to be a Spice Girl. And I know one is Melanie Chisholm, 'cause I just mentioned in another thread that she has the same birthday as me. Other than that... *shakes head*
As for someone in the gov't... How about the Minister for Putting Things on Top of Other Things? :-)

4.) *doesn't get it*

5.) I do both.

6.) I do neither.

7.) I don't know the words to the British national anthem, but I know the words to the American song of the same tune... :-)

8.) *tries to care less* Mm... Nope, can't do it.

9.) Of what now?

10.) *plots to destroy all the tea and see how many Brits it kills*

11.) Not if I can help it!

12.) You think your weather's bad...?!

13.) *doesn't usually walk around in the rain, anyway*

14.) If I did that, I'd be my own father... Whoops, temporal paradox! :-)

15.) Just one... ;-)

16.) I think CC should field that question... *L*

17.) I take it you guys don't eat many sandwiches...?

18.) Why would anyone want a dog that looks like it had a high-speed, head-on collision w/ a stationary object?

19.) How many rules must one know in order to "know the rules"?

20.) "Cricket?! Nobody understands cricket! You have to know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!" -Raphael, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I guess that last, unnumbered question adds the sexual innuendo apparently necessary in every thread around here these days... *grin*

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Clones are People Two

Yes.

2. You comprehend the distinction between "Great Britain" and "United Kingdom"

I'm afraid not. I suppose GB is England, Scotland, Ireland (northern) and Wales, as well as the innumerable little islands that constitute part of the territory. UK stands for (guessing) GB plus it's protectorates and maybe the rest of the commonwealth.

3. You can name all the Spice girls (real names that is), as well as someone in the UK government other than the PM.

No spice girls, no government officials. I have seen Clive in action and assume that cooking is the least part of the charm of his programs?

4. Use of the phrase "Suits you, sir!" raises a smile.

Alas, no. The cultural reference does not lie within my experience.

5. You say "I suppose" and never "I guess"

I suppose I should claim 1/2 point 'cuz I use "I suppose" frequently, though not to the exclusion of "I guess".

6. You eat chips with fried fish from a take-away, not from a foil bag whilst watching TV

Again, 1/2 point. When I eat Fish 'n Chips from Long John Silvers' (Arthur Treacher's franchise having evaporated about 1/4 century ago, it's the closest we get to "The Genuine Article") I don't think of the fried potato bits as "french fries" but chips. Otherwise I eat corn, potato, and tortilla chips from a variety of containers, never once considering they might also be referred to as "crisps".

BTW, there was a Fish & Chips shop run by expatriot Englishpeople when I was stationes in Sumpter, SC. They had a seasoning they sprinkled on the fish before they served it to you. Complemented the malt vinegar quite well. Can anyone tell me what it is, or what might be a good suitable substitute for it?

7. You do not know the words to the American national anthem.

Know 'em by heart. Can sing them in tune on a good day.

8. If a news report shows foreigners burning your nation's flag you couldn't care less, and return to your crisp munching with a smirk.

It depends upon whether I'm concerned we may be asked to go bomb the people seen in the report. I really am proud when the U.S. manages to diplomatically resolve its problems, a situation I seem to see less of these days than in former times.

9. You can identify on a map the location of Ibiza.

Not without consulting the index, though I can locate many more nations, principalities, regions, etc., than many of my peers.

10. You cannot survive a day without a soothing cup of tea.

I enjoy tea, but can live without it when necessary. Iced tea (from what I've been told, an abomination in the eyes of the English), in the heat of summer, on the other hand, is necessary for survival.

11. Your car works on petrol, and runs on motorways.

Technically, yes, but that's not my preferred turn of phrase. I prefer "My car works on precious, irreplaceable fossil fuels, and runs almost anywhere I choose as long as it's right near ground level.", but I'm funny that way.

12. You think that cold is wholesome.

What I consider to be cold is perhaps a bit warmer than the average Briton might choose.

13. You're never sure if you'll need an umbrella.

Living in New Mexico, I can be fairly certain that If I carry an umbrella it will either not be necessary or it will be too windy to safely deploy one (and often both).

14. You feel oddly paternal about Americans.

Well, perhaps, but not in any legally-binding way.

15. You have an irrational distrust of the French

Sorry. Americans have an irrational liking for the French. We do have a rational distrust of the French, but only sometimes.

16. You can correctly respond when addressed "Ay, oop, Chuck!"

Sorry, no. What muight the correct response be?

17. For you, bread is intimately associated with steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire and brass bands.

No, but I like the imagery. And I am fond of bread, especially when freshly-baked (yum!)

18. You are very fond of dogs. Especially small bulldogs, whom you find cute.

Well, I'm fond of dogs, but have no preference as to breed. Mutts need rescuing fromthe pound, so I am partial to them."

19. You do not know the rules of American Football, nor wish to know.

I don't care about the ones I know. Does that count?

20. You find cricket far more relaxing than baseball.

I find both to be equally tedious, though with cricket I can amuse myself by attempting to determine just what is going on.

--Baloo

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If God Himself walks up to you and tells you to found a new religeon, ask for some I.D.
You're probably talking to an imposter.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

1. You comprehend the distinction between "England" and "Britain"
Yep. England, Scotland, and Wales (and associated areas) comprise Britain.

2. You comprehend the distinction between "Great Britain" and "United Kingdom"
Yep. Great Britain doesn't include any part of Ireland. Just the one island.

3. You can name all the Spice girls (real names that is), as well as someone in the UK government other than the PM.
Erm.. Inky, Pinky, Blinky, Clyde and Ms.Pac Man? and... um... Tinky Winky!

4. Use of the phrase "Suits you, sir!" raises a smile.

5. You say "I suppose" and never "I guess"
I suppose I use it a majority of the time, anyway.

6. You eat chips with fried fish from a take-away, not from a foil bag whilst watching TV
I Don't eat chips. Too much salt.

7. You do not know the words to the American national anthem.
"Oh, say.. *mumble mumble*

8. If a news report shows foreigners burning your nation's flag you couldn't care less, and return to your crisp munching with a smirk.
Nope, just add them to the "Wipe off the face of the Earth" list for when I become dictator.

9. You can identify on a map the location of Ibiza.
Um, No.

10. You cannot survive a day without a soothing cup of tea.
Does iced tea count?

11. Your car works on petrol, and runs on motorways.
My car WORKS?!?!??

12. You think that cold is wholesome.
I think that cold is irritating. Then again, I think that virtually everything is irritating.

13. You're never sure if you'll need an umbrella.
I'm never sure if I OWN an umbrella.

4. You feel oddly paternal about Americans.
Yeah, okay, but I'm not paying support anymore!

15. You have an irrational distrust of the French
Noone who distrusts the French does so irrationally. The French are VILE.

16. You can correctly respond when addressed "Ay, oop, Chuck!"
Hoo's yersel?

17. For you, bread is intimately associated with steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire and brass bands.
For me, bread is associated with peanut butter and jelly.

18. You are very fond of dogs. Especially small bulldogs, whom you find cute.
Cats are a superior form of life.

19. You do not know the rules of American Football, nor wish to know.
All American football teams should crash in the Andes and be forced to eat each other. For that matter, so should ALL US professional sports teams.

20. You find cricket far more relaxing than baseball.
And I find lapsing into a coma just as exciting as either.

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You're just JEALOUS because the little voices talk to ME!

And a suitable response to "Ay, oop Chuck!"
would be something like "Aw-ryyyt loov! Che-urs!"

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"You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak."

- Chris Morris, Brass Eye

HA! Have a UK passport anyhow

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---- AAARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!----

1.,2.

Of course.

3. You can name all the Spice girls (real names that is), as well as someone in the UK government other than the PM.

I can't remember what the G in Mel G stands for. But other than that, yes. And certainly yes to the Government one.

4. Use of the phrase "Suits you, sir!" raises a smile.

:-)

5. You say "I suppose" and never "I guess"

I use both.

6. 7. 8.

Yup.

9. You can identify on a map the location of Ibiza.

Um, more or less.

10. You cannot survive a day without a soothing cup of tea.

I never drink tea or coffee.

11. Your car works on petrol, and runs on motorways.

I don't own a car, but yes.

12. You think that cold is wholesome.

Yup-ish.

13. You're never sure if you'll need an umbrella.

Yup.

14. You feel oddly paternal about Americans.

As in I think that they're delinquent adolescents?

15. You have an irrational distrust of the French

Nope.

16. You can correctly respond when addressed "Ay, oop, Chuck!"

I smack them one in the gob?

17. For you, bread is intimately associated with steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire and brass bands.

Nope.

18. You are very fond of dogs. Especially small bulldogs, whom you find cute.

Nope.

19. 20.

Yup.

My Brit Code:

Brit(W<) H--:-- a-- s+: hf/b- b(+) y-- X---:+ PG/->--- S++ W++ M- R- A++ C- T--- TV++ Ci MuIPZ+WF--- B+++ V-- (v1.1)

Still think Schroeder will end up Chancellor of Europe.

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there's a bird in the chimney,and a stone in my bed
when the road's washed out,they pass the bottle around
and wait in the arms,of the cold cold ground

Well, Geri's left (and isn't her solo single one of the most annoying thing's ever to be played on the radio?) and Victoria Adams hasn't married Beckham yet. Mel Brown is married and is now Mel G and I still can't remember what the G stands for.

Gosh I am sad.