SEMINARS FOR FEMALES
(prepared and presented by males)
- Elementary Map Reading
- Crying and Law Enforcement
- Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR
- You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours
- Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast
- The Seven-Outfit Week
- PMS: It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine ("It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty: Deal With it.")
- Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmissions
- Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Orange Lights
- Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed
- Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water
- Football: Not a Game: A Sacrament
- Telephone Translations (formerly titled "Me Too Equals I love you".)
- How to Earn Your Own Money
- Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good")
- Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
- Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
- Yes, You Can Fill Up At A Self Serve Station
- Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
- What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
- His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too
- His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
- Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock")
- To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do"
- Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
- Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man?
------------------
In the race against ignorance, ignorance has a head start.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/
[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited September 11, 1999).]
Since this unbalances the quantity of political incorrectness here at the forums, I'd appreciate if someone would dredge up the female-perspective of the above list of "courses".
--Baloo
------------------
In the race against ignorance, ignorance has a head start.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/
Why would you want a female perspective on things? As we all know, their only purpose in this plane of existance is to make our lives miserable, and I think some old-fasioned sexism is just what the doctor/MiWC ordered.
*Waits for it..*
------------------
The unexplained phenomenon that crippled the U.S.S. Unimpeachable --
Gaseous Anomaly...
What anomalises gaseously.
1.Asking for Directions: It doesn't hurt.
2.Why Cursing at Police Officers doesn't work.
3.Advanced Math Seminar: Balancing your Checkbook.
4.You CAN call a plumber.
5.Missing the SuperBowl vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast
6.Why Plaid and Paisly Doesn't Work Together.
7.PMS: Men Get it Too.
8.Driving I: Why The Road Isn't Yours.
9.Driving II: The Meaning of "Right of Way".
10.Driving III: The Speed Limit is Your Friend.
11.Driving IV: SUV's Aren't Tanks.
12.Sports: Their Only a Game.
13.Telephones Exist, Telephones are Your Friends. (formerly titled "Pick Up the Phone and CALL ME, Bastard!")
14.Things More Important than Work.
15.Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Underwear Bad, Jewelry Good")
16.Putting the Seat Down: YOUR Problem, Not Mine.
17.How to Do Your Laundry.
18.Yes, You Can Let Me Drive Your Car.
19.It's Okay to Give Up the Remote Control
20.What Goes Around Comes Around: Why You're Sleeping on the Couch Tonight.
21.We're Allowed to Have Mutual Friends.
22.Her Underwear Drawer: Stay Out!
23.Commitment is a Beautiful, Painless Thing (Formerly Titled: "Getting Married Doesn't Kill").
24.To Love and Cherish: How to Treat Your Wife.
25.Why Your Car's Motor Is Unwelcome In The House
26.Your Mate: Nagging Bitch, or Misunderstood Underappreciated Woman?
and Gaseous Anomaly: *SMITE*
------------------
"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
[This message has been edited by Jubilee McGann (edited September 11, 1999).]
--Baloo
------------------
In the race against ignorance, ignorance has a head start.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/
------------------
"Alright... Who wrote 'Beavis and Butthead rule' on the back of my skull?"
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek Parody, The Critic
------------------
Avon: "You really do believe in taking risks, don't you?"
Tarrant: "Calculated risks."
Avon: "Calculated on what? Your fingers?"
-- Blake's Seven, Ultraworld
------------------
"Maybe they're trying to breed them..."
-guy in my math class, suggesting a reason for there being two overhead projectors in the classroom
------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
If I had to pick one, it would Jubes no #11. I really wish my SUV was a tank.
------------------
"Diplomacy is the art of Internationalising an issue to your advantage"
Field Marshal Military Project
http://fieldmarshal.virtualave.net