Hello everyone. I'm looking for some advice here. I need some advice in the matters concerning the heart. You see, there's this girl in my class that I like. I'm not sure if she knows, but she may. Now, there is an upcoming cabaret at my school for Christmas. I usually never go to dances, unless I have nothing else to do, or a girl that I like is going. Truth be told, dances aren't all that entertaining to me due to the fact that, quite frankly, I can't dance. But I can slow dance. And damned if I try to be romantic. So, what I'm asking is how can I ask her to the dance without screwing up?
------------------ "Yeah, well I need a purple wig but you don't see me complaining!" -Nathan McFarlane
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
The easiest (though least... brave) way is to ask through a friend or write a short note (i.e. a few words) and ask.
------------------ Jubes, holding dinner: "What will you give me for the food?" Me: "My virginity..." -- Actual quote
Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
Fabrux: The most effective method is to just go up to her in front of God and everybody and ask. If she likes you, she will be thrilled that you overcame your shyness to do it that way. If she doesn't like you, at least she won't dislike you any more than she does. If she really doesn't like you at all, she'll probably say something to you loudly enough that all the other females in the room will interpret to mean:
She has no interest in you,
She doesn't appreciate a good thing when she sees it,
you're free to go to the dance with anyone else who's interested (and I'll bet someone else probably is, though it's probably up to you to discover who it might be), and
She's not worth your trouble, so you needn't waste any isofantons (the elementary particles of fantasy) on her. In this case, choose someone else as the object of your desire. She's like a juicy, ripe, red apple with a rotting core.
Of course, if she says yes, you won't have to worry about the above items. For now, at least.
Isofantons. Oh, that's good. That needs to be recorded somewhere.
------------------ "I wish that everything went just as I wish everything would go." -- John Linnell
Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
Don't tell Frank, but they aren't canon.
------------------ A cheeseburger, french fries and a vanilla shake. It's not the best meal; far from it. But it is perfect, the Holy Trinity of American cuisine. --James Lileks http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm
Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :
I agree with Baloo. But I have to interject the best comment from ZZ Top: Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
------------------ Is it defeat or victory that waits in the dark?
Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :
*pokes her boyfriend*
"p.s: I love you" ?
------------------ "SHOES!"
Posted by Montgomery (Member # 23) on :
Yes, go up and ask flat out. Even if it fails at least you can be proud of your courage in asking.
Anyone got any advice on how i can seduce a girl I like? problem: She's engaged to someone else.
------------------ "I cannot live out that life. That man is bereft of passion... and imagination! That is not who I am!"
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Fabrux: Just flippin' ASK. Trust me, sometimes it actually works. Try not to drool, and check yourself over for boogers or a slipped fly or untied shoes before you walk up to her.
Montgomery: DON'T. Trust me on this. I tried, once. Once.
------------------ Calvin: "No efficiency, no accountability... I tell you, Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a Universe." -- Bill Watterson
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
Thank you all. I shall endeavour to put this to good use. My major problem is that I'm so afraid of being rejected that I'm paranoid. I think that every girl I ask out is going to reject me, and seeing as where I'm so afraid of rejection, I never ask. That already screwed me up once, I hope it doesn't do it again...
------------------ "Yeah, well I need a purple wig but you don't see me complaining!" -Nathan McFarlane
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Saiyanman: That's an interesting point, but I wouldn't take the ZZ Top thing too far. I mean, if he were to take "Lord, take me downtown, I'm just looking for some tush" as advice, there could be problems. :-)
------------------ "Their 'flower power' is no match for my glower power!" -C. Montgomery Burns, The Simpsons
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Well, the way I've overcome it is by imaging myself at the age of 40, alone, never having done anything exciting, listening to Cliff on my CD player, with absolutly no stories to tell anyone, not that it matters, because I don't talk to anyone.
Cheerful innit? Still, I'm pretty much game for anything now, as long as it doesn't involve more men in the bed than women.
Oh, and Monty, you should talk to Sol. I think he's had similar problems.
------------------ "Obesity. Adiposity. Corpulence. Whatever word you use, it represents one thing: being a big fatass."
Geraldo Rivera
Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
Fabrux. Of course you're afraid she'll reject you. Chances are, you will be rejected about as many times as accepted (perhaps more). The only thing to it is resign yourself to the fact that some women don't recognize your better qualities, recognize qualities in themselves that will make them unhappy with you despite your virtues, or just want to embarrass someone in public to make themselves feel better. (I'm disregarding the possibility that you are actually a reprehensible person, or you would not have asked the question).
There are women who not only find you attractive, but would give their right arm to date you. The only way to find out who they are is to ask. If she says "no", just say "Okay", don't hang your head, don't beg, and move along. If she said "No" because she isn't sure, begging will be counterproductive, and maybe one of her friends will say "What were you thinking?!?"
If she has a change of heart, she'll find a way to let you know. If she doesn't you needn't waste time grieving over what might have been. It wouldn't have been fun. Don't wait too long to ask the next prospect.
--Baloo
------------------ A cheeseburger, french fries and a vanilla shake. It's not the best meal; far from it. But it is perfect, the Holy Trinity of American cuisine. --James Lileks http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Women. Bah!
And it would probably be best for Monty to avoid my advice, as the only thing I seem to have accomplished is an engagement traded for shacking up with some 30 year-old divorcee. 29, actually, I think. But that doesn't have the same weight to it.
Where was I? Oh, right. I need pity.
------------------ "I wish that everything went just as I wish everything would go." -- John Linnell
Posted by Montgomery (Member # 23) on :
The lovely lady I adore is only 25, and so very FIT!
(eeeeEEEEE this is TWISTED! )
------------------ "I cannot live out that life. That man is bereft of passion... and imagination! That is not who I am!"
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
I was all set. I got all psyched up, went into Happy Chris mode (what happens when I listen to dance music, don't ask...), I was going to ask her to the dance - but she was't at school today. Then my walkman broke.
------------------ "Yeah, well I need a purple wig but you don't see me complaining!" -Nathan McFarlane
Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
well, now you know what to put on your TO DO list for Monday, yeah?
forget any "can't miss" chat-uplines, be yourself, and put yourself in her position: how would you want her to ask *you* out? Nervously? Pressuring? Or just a genuine, sincere invitation?
----------------------------- Xentrick the High School Wallflower
[This message has been edited by Xentrick (edited December 11, 1999).]
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
Well, I finally asked her to the dance. Turns out she's going with somebody else. He asked 2 months ago
Thank's for all the support, guys!
------------------ New sig coming soon!
[This message has been edited by Fabrux (edited December 15, 1999).]
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, there's always the old "mysterious-accident-incapacitates-the-other-guy-two-days-before-the-dance" method. But, uh... You didn't hear that from me... *L*
------------------ Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him to use the 'net, and he won't bother you for weeks.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
But the important part is that you asked. That in itself is as great an accomplishment as the percieved success.
------------------ "I wish that everything went just as I wish everything would go." -- John Linnell
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
Fabrux! Thats Fabulous err sorry about the Fab matching
No seriously... you did well - but don't go asking EVERY girl at school cause it'd look like your desperate... you going to ask someone else!?!
------------------ "Its a CLOCK!" - Sisko, "Dramatis Personae" DS9.
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
*psst* fabrux, if you need to put that piece of competition out of the way, give me a ring...... after all, look at my status line......
Okay, kidding, ain't NO way I'm participating in a crime....
But hey, she could just simply dump the dude just before the dance for whatever reason....... just keep your eyes open, but honestly, don't try to hope too much.
------------------ I can resist anything....... Except Temptation
[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited December 16, 1999).]
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
Hehehe... Very tempting offeres, gentlemen...
Probably not. I don't think there's anyone else I'd want to go with... Besides, I spent all my money last night... Shortest amount of time I ever had money. I didn't even have it for 2 hours and I spent it all...
)