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Oh, how I wish I'd thought of this first!
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Baloo</b> <br /><small>Member # 5</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,23,13,28,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 23, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">01:28 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Some guy at the <A HREF="http://boards.straightdope.com/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/Ultimate.cgi" target=_blank>Straight Dope Message Boards</A> posted a message that turns me green with envy.<P>I present to you his message, "<A HREF="http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000930.html" target=_blank>Apologies</A>".<P>I have to admire his (or her, the poster's gender is not plainly apparent) intelligent wit.<P>--Baloo<P>------------------<BR>"A plain, good-hearted woman who loves you is infinitely more beautiful than any "gorgeous" woman who values your possessioins more than you."<BR>-- Me<BR><A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/</A> <P><BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>TSN</b> <br /><small>Member # 31</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,24,1,51,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 24, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">01:51 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Baloo: "His or her"? You have something against genderless posters, then? That's terrible, man...<P>------------------<BR>Harold: "You're missing the point!"<BR>Red: "Well, I don't like points."<BR>-<I>The Red Green Show</I> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Saiyanman Benjita</b> <br /><small>Member # 122</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,24,11,13,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 24, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">11:13 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Which is why I do not interact with strangers. (except in anonymous form via message boards, etc.)<P>------------------<BR>Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang<BR>me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider<BR>Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak<BR>Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide<P> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Baloo</b> <br /><small>Member # 5</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,24,21,51,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 24, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">09:51 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> TSN: I am deeply offended that you are offended and demand an immediate apology.<P>Saiyanman Benjita: I am offended that you are so insensitive as to ignore strangers. I demand an apology.<P>Me: I am offended that I am offended by such trivial things and demand an apology from myself.<P>Me (too): Oh, yeah? Well, you'll get one when Hell freezes over!<P>Me (three): I am offended by the implication that I might have multiple personalities, or that I may be having fun at the expense of those afflicted with multiple personality disorders and hereby apologize.<P><small>Maybe.</small><P><center><IMG SRC="http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/Devil.gif"></center><P>------------------<BR>"A man always needs to remember one thing about a beautiful woman.<BR>Somewhere, somebody's tired of her."<BR>-- Fortune Cookie<BR><A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/</A> <P> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>TSN</b> <br /><small>Member # 31</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,25,0,22,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 25, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">12:22 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Baloo: How can you use that smiley? What sort of contempt does that show toward Satan-worshippers, that you would use their deity as a funny bit of clip-art. How would you like it if they made a smiley of your god and used it every time they said something they considered "evil". You horrible, bigotted man...<P>------------------<BR>Harold: "You're missing the point!"<BR>Red: "Well, I don't like points."<BR>-<I>The Red Green Show</I> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Jeff Raven</b> <br /><small>Member # 20</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,25,2,24,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 25, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">02:24 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> What do you have against horrible bigoted people, TSN? You use those adjectives with a negative connotation. Those horrible bigoted people will feel bad that you compared them to Baloo.<P><BR>>:-)<P>------------------<BR>"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and have lived to tell about it." Sideshow Bob<BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Saiyanman Benjita</b> <br /><small>Member # 122</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,25,12,36,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 25, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">12:36 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Well you should apologize for insinuating that I should apologize, Baloo<P>------------------<BR>Well I'm a Bada$$ cowboy living in a cowboy day wicky-wicky-wak yo yo bang bang<BR>me and Artemus Clydefrog go save Selma Hayek from the big metal spider<BR>Wicky-wicky-wak wicky-wicky-wicky-wak<BR>Bada$$ cowboy from the West Si-yiide<P> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>The359</b> <br /><small>Member # 37</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,25,20,20,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 25, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">08:20 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I apologize for just posting to this thread...<P>------------------<BR>"The things hollow--it goes on forever--and--oh my God!--<I>it's full of stars!</I>" -David Bowman's last transmission back to Earth, 2001: A Space Odyssey<P><A HREF="http://www.expage.com/page/The359" TARGET=_blank>The 359 Webpage</A><P><BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>TSN</b> <br /><small>Member # 31</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,3,26,1,16,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">April 26, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">01:16 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Jeff: Hm... Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in the middle of <i>Catch-22</i>? *L*<P>------------------<BR>Harold: "You're missing the point!"<BR>Red: "Well, I don't like points."<BR>-<I>The Red Green Show</I> <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
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