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My cousin sent me this...
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" width="95%" align="center"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"><td> <table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="1"> <tr bgcolor="#234c6f"> <td colspan="2" align="left"> <font size="3" color="#FFFFFF" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>T O P I C ��� R E V I E W</b> </font></td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Baloo</b> <br /><small>Member # 5</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,4,19,22,25,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 19, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">10:25 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> My cousin Darla sent me this. She explains her husband has heard this before.<P>From her.<P>I didn't reply to that one. I'm hiding under the desk.<P>(I know she lives over a thousand miles away, but it never hurts to be careful!)<P><Blockquote>How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?<P>One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?<P><I>Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb.</I> They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT.<P>They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past TEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would <I>STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!</I><P>AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THIS HOUSE...THIS WHOLE FREAKIN HOUSE!!<P><font size="+1"><B>....IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS....</B></font></blockquote><P><P>------------------<BR>"Nice guys don't finish last. (Sometimes we last for hours. ;))"<BR>-- Me<BR><A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/</A> <P><BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>First of Two</b> <br /><small>Member # 16</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,4,19,22,28,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 19, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">10:28 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Erg. This is PRECISELY how my mother reacts... and I'm pretty sure she hasn't had PMS for about 10 years. <P>Tell me, is it posssible for that switch to get stuck 'on'?<P>------------------<BR>"Nobody knows this, but I'm scared all the time... of what I might do, if I ever let go." -- Michael Garibaldi<P><BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Saltah'na</b> <br /><small>Member # 33</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,4,20,11,7,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 20, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">11:07 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Yes it's possible to have the switch stuck at on. I've been suffering the aftereffects of this for the past 5 years.<P>------------------<BR>"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."<BR>Psychiatrist: "Again."<BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>PsyLiam</b> <br /><small>Member # 73</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,4,20,22,7,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 20, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">10:07 PM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I personally feel that scientists got it wrong. It's not that they're perfectly normal human beings most of the time, and just deranged psycho's for 3 days. It's that 3 days out of 28 they are calm, reasonable, and want sex. It's the other 25 days when they are moody, agressive, stroppy, sensitive, and unwilling to put out.<P>Possibly.<P>------------------<BR>"A fully functioning, cybernetic, technologically advanced team of superheroes... and NOBODY'S got a flashlight?"<BR>- Polly Ester;<I> Samurai Pizza Cats</I> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Jay the Obscure</b> <br /><small>Member # 19</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,4,21,0,28,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 21, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">12:28 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Liam, you are going to ba a sad lonely man. <IMG SRC="http://flare.solareclipse.net/wink.gif"><P>------------------<BR>Oh, goody, the Sea Monkeys I ordered have arrived. Heh heh heh, look at them cavort and caper.<BR>~C. Montgomery Burns<P>And be sure to visit The Field Marshal project <A HREF="http://fieldmarshal.virtualave.net/" TARGET=_blank>http://fieldmarshal.virtualave.net/</A> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#E5EAEF"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Baloo</b> <br /><small>Member # 5</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,4,21,1,38,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 21, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">01:38 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> No, don't be too quick to judge. I was married to one of those. Only it was more like 1 day out of 28 (if I was lucky).<P>Please, will the other females confirm that this was very atypical behavior? If not, I think staying single and reclusive seems somewhat more appealing.<P>--Baloo<P>------------------<BR>"Nice guys finish last? I'll say we do!<BR>(Sometimes we last for hours.)"<BR>-- Me<BR><A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/</A> <P><BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#A3B9CC"> <td valign="top" width="18%"> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <b>Diane</b> <br /><small>Member # 53</small> </font></td> <td width="82%"> <font size="2" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <img src="https://flare.solareclipse.net/posticon.gif" border="0" alt=" - " /> posted <script language="JavaScript1.3" type="text/javascript"> document.write(timestamp(new Date(2000,4,22,0,30,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0)); </script><noscript><span class="dateformat-0">May 22, 2000</span> <span class="timeformat-0">12:30 AM</span></noscript><hr /> </font> <font size="3" face="Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> That sounds rather like my mom, too. But I think it's because I put off housework until she yells at me to do it. From my experience, that reaction not atypical--only after continually repeated irresponsible behavior does the bomb go off. When I react that way, it's almost exclusively triggered by my brother, except it doesn't work because he doesn't give a damn and shouts louder than I can.<P>------------------<BR>"One more day before the storm<BR>At the barricades of freedom!<BR>When our ranks begin to form<BR>Will you take your place with me?"<BR>--Enjolras, "One Day More," Les Miserables<BR> <br /> </font> </td></tr> </table></td></tr></table> <br /> <br />
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