Flare Sci-Fi Forums: The Perfect Date

This is topic The Perfect Date in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

My Girlfriend sent this to me.

Your Perfect Date

This probably only works in IE 5.0. Some netscape users may not be able to access all the functions.

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited August 08, 2000).]

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Hmm. I guess I've found one of my 'perfect dates', at least in theory. But for those of you still looking, there are many other options, depending on whether you like your dates captivating, fluent in Assembly, or completely unrealistic.

On the other hand, you could just skip the dating part and go straight for the real goods.

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"If Picard was set loose on a Monopoly board, he'd try and establish peaceable diplomatic relations with Marvin Gardens and give St. James Place wide berth so that its culture could develop without interference."
--
L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg
****
Read chapter one of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! Because I'm the passenger, and I ride and I ride.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

The hilarity of that site was made me poop myself. I am now exremely happy and dirty, and I like it.

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"Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

I think Sol needs to be strapped into a chair and sent off Niagara Falls.

Or any Major Psychological Institution oughta do it.

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

After what Liam just said, you think Simon needs to be institutionalized?! *LOL*

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra, and then, suddenly, it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
-Matt Groening

Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :

LOL, SFHBS is going on my bookmarks list under "Society Amazes Me" folder.

Anywho, my future wife could not be found on a website. She'd be yay high {lifts hand midway in air} developed in all basic faculties and industries, including speech, walk, and stance. Of course, she be well learned as well. With long brown hair too.

Ah, how I enjoy designing a future wife. You should try it too.

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-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Midway in the air? Like, halfway between the ground and the upper reaches of the ionosphere? Wow... :-)

Unfortunately, my should-be future wife has no interest in me. But, then, that goes a bit of a way to explain what is says under my name, eh? :-)

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra, and then, suddenly, it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
-Matt Groening

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Well, then ye gotta make 'er notice ya, man! Public urination is always an attention getter, in my experience.

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"What happens if a big asteroid hits the Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad."
- Dave Barry

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

You know, after you get over the shock of the first few restraining orders, the rest don't bother you as much.

Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :

quote:
first few restraining orders

You mean, I'm not alone?

There was this girl of my sophomore year who fit everything in that description but the intelligence. After seeing me at Junior resgistration last week, I got the following e-mail:

quote:
What r u doing back at Sahuaro? why can't u just go away and stay outta my life. I wish u never would of come back to sahuaro. We don't need/want u there.

Gee, and it was only flowers on St Valentine's ...

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-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

[This message has been edited by SCSImperium (edited August 10, 2000).]

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

quote:

Hmm. I guess I've found one of my 'perfect dates', at least in theory. But for those of you still looking, there are many other options, depending on whether you like your dates captivating, fluent in Assembly, or completely unrealistic.

I'l take "completely unrealistic" for a thousand, Alex!

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Sailing the Slipstream

Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :

[deleted]

This is just too painful. May I never think of her again.

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-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

[This message has been edited by SCSImperium (edited August 10, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by SCSImperium (edited August 11, 2000).]

Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :

Dude, find a new woman.

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"The things hollow--it goes on forever--and--oh my God!--it's full of stars!" -David Bowman's last transmission back to Earth, 2001: A Space Odyssey

The 359 Webpage

Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :

I think you completely missed it. Oh well, what should I expect.

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-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Wow. I didn't realize it before, but this thread has the potential to become rather frightening, doesn't it...?

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"Me, Grimlock, not 'nice dino'! Me, Grimlock, bash brains!"
-Grimlock, Transformers: The Movie

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

Has potential? It already IS......!

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No, you CAN'T see my picture!

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

But, just incase you're not frightened enough...

*holds up picture of Charles porking someone*

Frightened now?

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"Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

*SHUDDER*

Sorry, couldn't resist :-)

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited August 11, 2000).]

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

Future Husbands of...Britany Spears? Simon, WHAT do you do all day? I know it's not farming!!

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"Dreams are the excrement of the mind, feces are the excrement of the body, and laughter is teh excrement of the soul."
--Anonymous Indian guru

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

I second that, Tora.

Like I said before, he REALLY needs help.

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I'm not sure I understand. But if Ms. Spears isn't in your target demographic, perhaps there are other alternatives.

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Come on darkness
Lay your body down on us
We've been calling you for so long now
We're weary of your name
--
Camper Van Beethoven
****
Read chapter one of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! Pull your body for a moment from your soul.