Flare Sci-Fi Forums: I AM TEH COMMANDER SISKO!!

This is topic I AM TEH COMMANDER SISKO!! in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.

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Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I am also Picard! I am walking to my bridge!!!

I am also #1 Sex Machine!

And yes, you can buy these.

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Not even a god can deny that I have squared the circle of a static Earth and cubed the Earth sphere by rotating it once to a dynamic Time or Life Cube.
--
Gene Ray
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" Or don't. You know, whatever.

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

But dear God why would you want to?

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Help! Their necks are lack!

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"Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

I have exploded. I am now dead.

Quadrant IV: The reason for death.

They have 1337 c057um35 w007! w007!

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited March 26, 2001).]

Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :

**looks at Quadrant IV**

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

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Nic: She's not a practicing lesbian. We need PRACTICING lesbians!
Me: I have a camcorder.
Nic: But no lesbians.
Me: Ahhh... no.
Nic: DAMN IT MAN! WE NEED LESBIANS! LOTS AND LOTS OF LESBIANS!

ICQ Conversation From January 23, 2001.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

The Royal Goth Shakespeare Company presents Hamlet.

I think this guy is using his trident to store his forty-sided dice...

Apparently, Cleopatra invented the high heel...

Which was later adopted by pirate women, to go w/ their own invention: black net stockings...

Pirate man: Yarrr, matey! If ye be lookin' at my girl's stockings, I be cutting yeer balls off! I really will! I already done it to meself! Yarrr!

Mary Shelley would be proud...

Bram Stoker, too...

Man train not included.

Again, man train not included.

Quasimodo liked to wear his girlfriend's clothes.

Wrong. Just wrong.

OH MY GOD!!! WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?!?!?!

Maw! Lookit me! Ah'm a red injun!

Even Native American hairstyles didn't like the '80s...

Remember that clown earlier...?

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"As part of Mr. Lee's good neighbor policy, all Rat Things are programmed never to break the sound barrier in a populated area. But Fido's in too much of a hurry to worry about the good neighbor policy. Jack the sound barrier. Bring the noise."
-Neal Stephenson, Snow Crash

[This message has been edited by TSN (edited March 27, 2001).]

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

And, of course, my personal favorite.

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

Oh. My. God.

You people have WAY too much time on your hands, y'know?

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In this crazy world of lemons, baby...you're lemonade!

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Aaaaah! My eyes!!!

That Frank Bee costume is too much. Kind of like Chaotica! He looks positively menacing, in a "world domination" kind of way.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

I can't help but notice that all the Trek uniforms come ONLY in Comic Book Guy sizes. . .

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

*ROTFLMAO*

Deadly

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

*eyes bleed*

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond

Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :

Why is the M&M guy in the middle NOT WEARING ANY PANTS?!

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"No, 3 & 6 are mandatory, so you only have to do them if you want"

Alex, fellow classmate, trying to explain an assignment (2/2/01)

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

Oh sick!! I missed that the first time, and I hate you for showing it to me

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :

Great. Crappy-looking ill-fitting unis for fat people who've yet to figure out that there's a REASON there are no donut monsters in Starfleet.

At least in high school, I could wear my TNG uni tunic without the pips & commbadge & everyone thought it was just a normal shirt.

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"For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

I was unaware that there were Satanic M&M's.

"They Melt in your mouth. Of Hell!"

"At least in high school, I could wear my TNG uni tunic without the pips & commbadge & everyone thought it was just a normal shirt."

Is this with the collar? Without, I can possibly imagine it passing as a normal shirt. With, I think, despite the lack of recognition as wearing a Star Trek Uniform to school, people would still have plenty of reason to beat you up. It's not exactly a high-fashion article of clothing.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited March 27, 2001).]

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :

No collar. Really, it was like a normal overshirt. And no one dared beat me up lest they be woken up at 3 AM to see me sitting at the foot of their bed dressed in balck grinning wildly at them with a a weapon of choice in my hand. They'd tease me, sure, but I'd turn it back around on them.

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"For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

The M&M guy isn't lacking pants. The tights are that color. Look at the woman in the same picture, and the arms of both of them.

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"Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. � Believe in nothing..."
-Tool, �nima

[This message has been edited by TSN (edited March 27, 2001).]

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Darn. I smelled a new Fetish for Nimrod, to help him get over Dolph, but alas...

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

Why anyone would find Dolph Lundgren even remotly "hot" is way beyond my brain's ability to comprehend.

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In this crazy world of lemons, baby...you're lemonade!

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

Before I anwser I'm gonna need to know if the person you're speaking of is male or female.

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

If you don't know who Dolph is already, you don't deserve to know. Infidel.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

He's our last best hope. For great B-movie!

Hahaaah! You try and turn dis dolphie-thing around on me, se�or.
But don't worry, UM. We'll be at your side the whole way thru rehab. One step at a time, less Dolph/more Turnip.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Infinity: http://www.dailyradar.com/features/directhit_feature_page_2516_1.html

MAN TRAIN MAN TRAIN
WHAT YOU GONNA DO
WHAT YOU GONNA DO
WHEN YA GOTTA HIT THE CABOOSE?

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Cool, and I'm surprised this not-so-objective research favoured Hans.
But I like both, and no movie Dolph ever made could top "Bloodsport", that's like one of the top guy-movies ever...
I think a match would be very interesting, but just between the two of them, like with Apollo and Rocky in R:III. I'll betcha they've already done that, shortly before or after UniSol.

Wouldn't want to taste Dolph's "Giant Axe Kick" though.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

I do believe R3 tops 'Bloodsport'. Possibly 'Universal Soldier', as well.

"[Dolph Lundgren has] A vast, comprehensive acting resume, including such films as Masters Of The Universe, in which he played He-Man, and the made-for-TV movie 'Blackjack'. I think he played a guy who busted over 21, so he KILLED THEM ALL! LIKE HE KILLED APOLLO! DAMN RUSSIANS!!! GOD BLESS THE USA!"

He's 6'6". And 237 pounds. Horee Shit.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Dolph Lundgren attended the Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm, Sweden. He received a master's degree in chemical engineering from the University of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia in 1982, and the next year was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to MIT. In New York City he met drama coach Waffen Robertson and tried his chance as an actor concentrating on action movies. His last movie, The Shooter was shot mainly in Prague, Czech Republic. Lundgren has a second-degree black belt in karate and is aiming for his third-degree black belt

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Okay.

In the practice of JeffK, I will now practice my own 1337 c7r1-c/v 5kill5:

Dolph's Killing Scores per Film:

The Punisher 181 kills
Red Scorpion 55 kills
Masters Of The Universe 47 kills
Universal Soldier 43 kills
Joshua Tree 38 kills
Showdown In Little Tokyo 30 kills
Men Of War 24 kills
Silent Trigger 15 kills
Cover Up 4 kills
Pentathlon 3 kills
I Come In Peace 1 kill
Rocky IV 1 kill

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited March 28, 2001).]

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Are those in chronological order? If so, he's either slowin' down or speeding up!*

*Yes, I know, brilliant observation of the millennia, next I'll be telling people the sun is yellow!

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

In descending order, actually.

Bloodsport, The Shooter, Blackjack, and a few more still need to be tabulated.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

He kills 43 people in Universal Soldier?!

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Yeah, that's not right. Four people in the beginning in Vietnam (including Van Damme), then three terrorists in the dam, two doctors and his commanding officer. Maybe a police officer too, but NOT 43.

Plus, Van Damme has never been a "Commando"- or "Rambo"-style masskiller, he's more kicks. Well, he shot pretty many in "Double Impact", but Dolph has done different films.

And I got more out of Bloodsport than Rocky III. Just my opinion.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

The man's name is "Hans", and he changed it to "Dolph"?! Oy...

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"Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. � Believe in nothing..."
-Tool, �nima

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

*giant axe kick*

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :

Dolphs Redeeming features include: winning the world kyokushin full contact championships (kyokushin is a widely practised style of karate) somtime in the 80's, having a 3rd dan grade in the same style and talking in a silly voice in rocky IV. Apart from that, he's a lumbering oaf.

But hey that's not a crime.

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Re: Russia in WWII

"Hey, we butchered Poles! Thats OK."
- DT.

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Like the Romulans in TNZ, Daryus has returned from a long absence

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Oaf or not, my goal is still to become Dolph. One day I shall prevail. One day.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Apparently, it started early. This is a thread on the US Military. In it, I reference Dolph Lundgren. Before he became Captain.

Dude, like that Movie 'Universal Soldier' with Dolph Lundgren?
I liked that movie, although it was pretty corny. Why'd they have to bring in Goldberg and replace Jean Claude Van Damm? That guy was in Friends. And he's french, get it? French Friends? haha. Anyway, Dolph lundgren is a massive muscle man. He was He-Man, and Courtney Cox was in that. Oh another friends connection. Also, the guy who plays Tom Paris was in He-Man. So was the bald angry teacher from Back to The Future. Michael J Fox was in back to the future, and was replaced by Charlie Sheen on Spin City. Lundgren was in Rocky something or other. He was a big bad russian man, who killed apollo. DAMN You!!!!! You killed apollo!!! is what Rocky said, and he fought the russian, and won! And 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor, not the show, played, and there was a montage of Apollo footage. James Brown was in that. 'Hhhhooooaaa'. That's my best James Brown impersonation. I can do Sean Connery, too. "Bond. James Bond." Pretty good huh? Trust me, it's exactly the same, I'm not joking. The guy who played Tom Paris is Robert Duncan McNiel. I once got a book from the library about the US military, but it was old, so I didn't like it. Plus, there were guns, and they offend me. SO I took it back and got a book on how UFOs abduct human babies and make them smart, like Bill Gates or something. Babies are nice, except when they ooze. That angry bald prinicpal was stupid.

I was such an Infidel. Universal Soldier, Corny? Thank goodness I have attained proper control over my faculties. w007.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited March 30, 2001).]

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

The two sequels to UniSol, one with Van Damme and one fake, were superbad. Maybe this Goldberg were in there.

Just gotta ask, why in fox name did you post this?

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Whoa, Six Degrees of. . . Christ only knows what. 8)

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

UM is now quoting himself. This is bad, thinks PsyLiam.

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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

UM is now quoting himself. This is bad, thinks PsyLiam.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Don't make me attack that posting-button again...

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

UM is quoting himself, Liam is repeating himself... It's not long before someone starts touching himself, and then I'm leaving. 'Cause I know the rest of you don't want to see that...

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"Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. � Believe in nothing..."
-Tool, �nima

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

I'm quoting myself, Liam is repeating himself, and TSN want to watch other people touch themselves. If anyone starts a Man Train, I'm outta here, because I gotta get me some film.

Ultra Magnus:

"That's right."

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Man Train. Like those old commercials of chinese kids in rows, bathing? Only naughty?

I've been thinking, and I believe it wouldn't work. If every "passenger" moves at the same time, they'll just stay in the same position. Hmmm...

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :

*considers posting something about him touching himself but decides not to*

I've tortured y'all enough by streaking and singing Britney Spears.

ICQ Conversation From January 23, 2001.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Nimrod: Well, if every other person moves, and the rest stand still...

Augh! Why am I even thinking about this?!

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"Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. � Believe in nothing..."
-Tool, �nima

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

AHAAAAH! Made you think!!!

Pleh, this is below me.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Perhaps you'd like Liam to post like he's in a Marvel comic? Using my typing powers, I'd type up a typing storm!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Depends. You'd have to make loads of references to previous posts, with footnotes. . .

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

They were born different... Him, cursed with a skeleton made of the hardest metal on earth and dito claws, and being the best at what he does. She, with the power to BLAH BLAH BLAAAAAH!!!!!

I'm getting tired of them having to explain everything all over again to potential newcomers...

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

*Checks the FAQ thread*

So that's who CC and Jubilee are!!

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"