Flare Sci-Fi Forums: From the Californians.

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Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Dear (the rest of) America,

California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed per person.

California grows more than half the nation's fruit, nuts and vegetables.

We're keeping them. We need something to eat when the power goes out. We grow 99 percent or more of the nation's almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins and walnuts. Hope you won't miss them.

California is the nation's number one dairy state. We're keeping our dairy products. We'll need plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators can't be relied upon. Got milk?

We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in state. Silicon Valley is ours, after all. Without enough electricity, which you're apparently keeping for yourselves, we just plain don't have enough software to spare.

We're keeping all our airplanes. California builds a good percentage of the commercial airliners available to fly you people to where you want to go. When yours wear out, you'd better hope Boeing's Washington plant can keep you supplied. There isn't enough electricity here to allow us to build any more planes than we need ourselves. And while we're at it, we're keeping all
our high-tech aerospace stuff, too, like the sophisticated weapons systems that let you sleep at night, not worried you might wake up under the rule of
some foreign kook. Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance call, remember where the satellite components and tracking systems come from. Maybe you could get back in the habit of writing letters.

Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend? Come to California. We make them here. Since we'll now have to make them with our own electricity, we're keeping them. Even if we shot them somewhere else, the labs, printing facilities, editing facilities, and sound facilities are all here.

Want some nice domestic wine? We produce over 17 million gallons per year. We'll need it all to drown our sorrows when we think about the fact that no
matter how many California products we export to make the rest of America's lives better, America can't see its way clear to help us out with a little electricity. You can no longer have any of our wine.

You all complain that we don't build enough power plants. Well, you don't grow enough food, write enough software, make enough movies, build enough
airplanes and defense systems or make enough wine.

This is your last warning, America. Lighten (us) up before it's too late.

Love,

The Californians

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

*blinks*

YEAH? Well you're also the only state in range of China's nukes.

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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching

Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :

...Along with Alaska, but California would probably be the more important target

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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

I'm thinking Hawai'i is a little closer than California, too...

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"Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. � Believe in nothing..."
-Tool, �nima

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Once half the state falls into the sea, the problem will be solved. Charles will drown, but Simon has his own flotation device. Zyial and Liz, you might want to think about moveing east, plenty of room here in West Virginia.

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Witty Remark

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Does anyone REALLY eat almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins or walnuts?

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." J. Richmond

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

I eat oranges, but mine come from Florida.

Really, if it wasn't for the Paramount Studios (which they could rebuild somewhere else), I could pretty much do without California.

Just build the damn plants.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

quote:
Does anyone REALLY eat almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins or walnuts?

Sounds like Muesli to me. 8)

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Oh, there is much mis-infornation about my Golden State out there...

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The negotiations have failed. Shoot him!
~ C. Montgomery Burns

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Mueslix? Does anybody OUTSIDE of California eat that crap?

And WALNUTS??? I've got more walnuts falling off trees in my backyard than I know what to do with! Are you telling me that that's a cash crop?

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

It's 6:20 here, I'm eating a glass of muesli with milk. It's nutty and has raisins, very tasty when softened up by the milk after 30 sec.
I stopped eating "Kellogg's" a long time ago.
Couldn't stand the man anyway, what with his pathetic motives for promoting cereal. He was probably nazi as well, not one black kid among those he adopted.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :

I really could care less about the power problem in California for now, I live in Los Angeles County where my power is supplied by DWP, not Edison or PCG.

Yay DWP!!!

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"When I said to get involved in the gay community, I didn't mean to sleep with everyone in it."
Michael_T

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

For REAL. Eat death and die California. I happen to live in Florida where it seems the real action is. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

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In this crazy world of lemons, baby...you're lemonade!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Alpen is definitely the best Muesli on the market; unfortunately it's also very fattening - all that sugar and milk powder.

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

Mark eats "Alpen". Personally i'd rather eat horse feed for all the taste IT has...

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In this crazy world of lemons, baby...you're lemonade!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Alpen is lovely. Better than most mueslis. Haven't had it in a while, I'm on my quarterly Shreddies binge.

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Yeah, Alpen is gorgeous, but I fin it awful heavy going.
So sick of Corn Flakes - on Just Right at the minute *yum*

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Try Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. In fact, a mixture of CNC and Alpen is pure bliss. . .

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

What does Calvin (the one with Hobbes) call them chocolate flakes he eats, I've only heard it in swedish.
That was such a good one, (way back in the beginning, when he still had the good ol' triangular mouth in profile)
*Calvin reads back of cereal box* "List Of Ingridents: I think we'll just skip that."
Calvin:"What you don't know won't kill you!"

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Sounds ...

...tasty?

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

I'm currently going through a Honey Nut Loops affair, but that's because the local Tescos here doesn't sell Start. I'm probably going back to Frosties after, but I might pick up some Alpen. You have whetted my appetite.

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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I live in California now?

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Not even a god can deny that I have squared the circle of a static Earth and cubed the Earth sphere by rotating it once to a dynamic Time or Life Cube.
--
Gene Ray
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet" Or don't. You know, whatever.

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Don't you know that the entire West Coast of the USA is California?

Sure, you might delude yourself to think you live in "Washington" or "Seattle" ... but it's really "California."

Or "Californai", depending on your spelling ...

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are as bloody expensive. Gorgeous though. Special K was delicious for a while as well, but I soon got sick of it. And don't get me started on what Bran Flakes used to do to me.

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Snap! Crackle! Pop! Rice Krispies!

Anyways, give me anything that's cocoa flavored, or has marshmellows in it. Oh, and I like Cinnamon Life too.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Try that Special K Red Berries. Even more expensive though.

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

quote:

I live in California now?

The Flotation device joke wouldn't work fro anyone else. And Washington will probably go too, when Cal goes.

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Witty Remark

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Damn, I hate that. Here we are, having a serious discussion about breakfast cereals, and someone goes and actually tries to get back to the thread topic. Fascist! Soulless minion of orthodoxy! Go back to, er, Russia, yeah, Russia, pal! 8)

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :

I'd almost add my $ 00.2 to this fascinating discussion (yes, I have an opinion on almost everything, even muesli)... almost.

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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Oh, go on, Lordychops. This is where the fun is. The nerd contingent up at Starships & Tech (who pride themselves on never going below Star Wars) don't know what they're missing. 8)

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Hey, I go below Star Wars! I always go down to the last three Forums! Or do I go down on them? No, no, definitely go down to them... Yes, that's right...

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"I write messages on money.
It's my own form of social protest.
A letter printed on paper that no one will destroy.
Passed indiscriminantly across race, class, and gender lines
and written in the blood that keeps the beast alive
A quiet little hijacking on the way to the checkout counter.
and a federal crime.
I hope that someone will find my message one day when they really need it.
Like I do."
-Rage against the Machine

Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :

At first, I never went below Star Wars either. But even nerds extend their limits, because now I draw the line at this forum. Ha!

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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

*shudders*

The Flameboard

*/shudders*

Really am sick of Corn Flakes, ven though the boxes seem to last me ages, and Just Right lasts me eleven minutes.

------------------
At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Daniel (Member # 453) on :

Hey! I come down here too! AND to the flameboard. It's very entertaining if you ask me. Tech isn't everything.

Posted by Antagonist (Member # 484) on :

I thought californians were so concerned with their anorexic physiques that they favored starvation over Muesli, or any other breakfast.

I for one won't be concerned when my hometown falls into the ocean (after all I do live in Cattle Ground, fledgling cowtown of Vancouver, WA). I can always find a cow and float around on it's stomach. They are boyant, you know.

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"Turn off every .sig!"

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Naughty Lord: Draw the line at this forum? So the line must be drawn here then, is that what you are sayianmanning?

PsyLoin: YOU HAVE "START!" AS WELL? Wow! That's what I was eating when I was writing the foist message! That is, if there's not another "START!" out there. Mine's the white logo with blue lining.

I eat it with some milk and in a cup, saves space. And you can't take too much, I can never eat more than one cup, it's pretty sweet.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Now, as for peaches, I could eat a peach for hours.

Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :

Washington won't go when the Southern California coast goes. Different plate. The SoCal coastline is part of the Pacific plate. The oh-so-famous San Andreas Fault is where it meet the North American plate. Further North, after the San Andreas hits ocean and runs out under the sea, the Mendocino plate takes over bumping the North American plate. And Washington has its own plate-y goodness with the San Juan plate being squished and ground between the Pacific and North American plates. And I think there are still one or two others that I'm forgetting.

But to demonstrate the movement, one need look no farther than Santa Catalina Island. It's now clearly visible off the Orange County coast, but it used to be down off Baja...

--Jonah

P.S. I'm on Grape Nuts and Shredded Wheat (large biscuits) at the moment. With occasional binges of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Lucky Charms, and Rice Crispies Treats. Plus I keep a box of Rice Crispies in there for Saturday mornings...

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"It's obvious I'm dealing with a moron..."

--Col. Edwards, ROBOTECH

Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :

I must commend Lee on his present cereal selections. Not only do I consider Alpen the shit, but yes, the man eats Shreddies! Good good whole-wheat Shreddies. About the only contribution Canada has ever made to the global cereal market!

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"Tony Blair like me uses Colgate"
-George W. Bush on forging new Anglo-American ties

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Just two points:

1/ "PsyLoin"?

2/ Start in a cup?

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

[This message has been Fucked Up by Ultra Magnus on a date that is now.]

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited April 06, 2001).]

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Tom: A while back we had Beaver Bits. Yummy whole-weat pellets sprinked with Canadian Maple Leaf and Beaver Tail (Not the pastry) marshmallows. It was short-lived. I am serious. There was a lumberjack on the box. I still am serious. It was made in Wisconsin. I am still serious.

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"Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Re "In a cup??": It tastes better in a cup because then you won't have a full bowl and feel sick due to sweetness. One cup gets me right where I want to be!

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

While we're on the subject of Canadian breakfasts, I had pancakes and bacon with maple syrup this morning. 8)

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Sounds delicioboipous! I intended to make bacon und eggs but ran into the couch and fell back in bed.
I had a big, fucked up bowl of gulash instead, and now I fall off the chair every time I get a discharge. It's horrible.
Aaaah, the prices we pay...

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I woke up at noon and had lunch for breakfast.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

*happy sigh* 8)

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"Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the crew!"

- Zapp Brannigan

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Er, could you take your hand off of my theigh please?

Thanks.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Did you theigh thomething?

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

You may force me to kill you, Turnip-breath

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

It was minty-fresh until he ate you, Turnip Donahue.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Nothing a forceful penis won't remedy. Just sit down and someone will be with you shortly.

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

D'you call me, UM?

------------------
At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

I had sex on a tumble-dryer last night. Just thought I'd mention that. 8)

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"It strikes me that there are enough episodes of the Simpsons that people could speak entirely in Simpsonese, using references from the show to explain or describe an endless series of situations. Nelson and Apu . . . at Tinagra.

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Great. Your life has turned into a Carry On film.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Actually, there's an uncannily similar scene in "Confessions of a Plumber's Mate." Except the washing machine wasn't leaking. 8)

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

And what's wrong with a bed, hmm? Not "daring" enough for you?

I mean, I can understand parks, showers, most places. But a washing machine?

And anyway, as I said when Charles started posting about him and Jubes, I do not want to hear about large ginger people with beards having sex. Okay?

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Right, since I don't have a beard, I guess I have c�rte blanche. So, let's begin. . . 8)

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

I so love hearin' about it when a friend o' mine gets laid.

Actually, we're fairly discreet in that regard. We don't talk about it. Unlike the High School mentality, which seems to be "I screwed this chick, and this chick, and that chick, and her too!"

Seriously. I don't want to know what you and your girlfriend did with that dildo (or beer bottle, as in some cases I'm aware of), or what you did it on (was it a public washer or dryer? 'Cuz I've walked in on those before. Very embarrassing, ESPECIALLY when they're doing it on the washer that your clothes are in!!!!!). Not that we're not, I'm sure, all happy that you're getting some thrusting exercise, just that there is something known as "too much information!"

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
***
I wouln't say that anyone who has ceased to post every time you rant has "realized that they couldn't win" Omega. It's more like "oh, great he comes Mr. conservative frontal lobotomy boy who only hits one note over and over and over and over..."
-Jay, July 15, 2000

[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited April 11, 2001).]