Flare Sci-Fi Forums: UK Census 2001

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Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

My brother sent me this. . .

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As some of you may know there is a census coming around on August the 7th. For those who don't know, a census is where the government collates general information about its residents (number of people living in your house, religion, etc). If there are enough people, who put down a religion that isn't mentioned on the census form it becomes a fully recognised and legal religion.

It usually takes about 10,000 people to nominate the same religion.

It is for this reason that it has been suggested that anyone who does not have a dominant religion to put "Jedi" as their religion. Send this on to all your friends and tell them to put down "Jedi" on their census form. And remember ...If you are a member of the Jedi religion then you are by default a 'Jedi Knight.'

So if this has been your dream since you were 4 years old.... Do it because you love Star Wars, If not... then just do it to annoy people.

May the Force be with you.

***

Some thoughts: I'm up for it. The email he sent me claimed this actually worked in New Zealand. But then the emails he sends me claim many things. I don't know when the UK Census will be, just that there is one this year. I don't know if what it says about religions becoming legit is true, just that one thing is certain: if enough people put down "Jedi" it's bound to cause a stir. And you all know how I like to annoy people! 8)

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"It strikes me that there are enough episodes of the Simpsons that people could speak entirely in Simpsonese, using references from the show to explain or describe an endless series of situations. Nelson and Apu . . . at Tinagra.

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Sounds good, but you shouldn't be a Knight from the start, that's not right. Maybe a "believer", we have neither the powers nor the swords...

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :

Ha...in last year's round of "Who's Got A Green Card?" here in Das Amerika, my freidn Del was accosted by a fellow uni student doing census work. When asked for her race, she grabbed the form, said "Here, it'll be easier if I do it," & filled in "Fae."

So according to FedGov, she's officially listed as Fae. :::shakes head & smiles::: No wonder I adore her so.

ADDENDUM: The exact phrasing as below--

I got stalked by the census people today.

Census Person: "Ok, race? Latino, hispanic, caucasian..."

Me: "I'm other."

CP: "Other what?"

Me: "Here, I'll fill it in." F-A-E

CP: "Is that a real race?"

Me: "Yeah, it is."

CP: "Ok, then."

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"For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid

[This message has been edited by Shik (edited April 10, 2001).]

Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :

Unfortunately, all Jedi Knights would likely find themselves sued for copyright infringement by a certain G. Lucas

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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

I don't think you can sue a religion. Could Buddha sue Buddhists? Could Muslei sue Musleims? Could Jeff Christian sue the pope?

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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Well, yes. Of course.

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001

Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :

This is the same G. Lucas who once went as far as to sue the U.S. government for using the term Star Wars in its SDI project... he lost, though.

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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Damn, and I have to wait 10 more years to do it here. It might surprise the government, since I haven't filled out forms for the last two censuses.

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Witty Remark

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

I think I'll cut and paste the e-mail to two other boards, so more UK folks see it!!

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Witty Remark

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

What's a "Fae"?

And I heard about the New Zealand thing before it happened. I seem to recall hearing afterward that it actually worked, but I don't know if that's true or not.

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"Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow."
-Maynard James Keenan

Posted by Teelie (Member # 280) on :

That would be Faerie/Fairly I believe.

And as I recall it, you have to prove it's a practicing religion as well, meaning we'll have lots of robed psychoes going around the world "using the Force" and using modified weilding torches in attempts to prove they are an actual religion... the US has it's own version of this Jedi religion.

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I knew a blonde that was so stupid that she studied for a blood test.

[This message has been edited by TLE (edited April 10, 2001).]

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Ha Ha! That Girl said she was a fairy/faeraeaeae? Ha Ha! That's not real! What a Riot!

*wipes away tear*

Sniff...I can see why you love her so much, Shikiriffic.

Riot! That's what that is!

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"Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited April 10, 2001).]

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

She in encroaching on your Master Of The Pun terratory there UM. Perhaps she is the Mistress of the Play On Words!

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Oh, the Fae are real all right...

It's their public image and perception that's totaly wrong. People think of Faeries and imagine little pixies with flitting wings, or leprechauns, or some such rot.

Kind of like the same treatment that Angels are getting nowadays. Man, in the Old Times, Angels were God's little engines of destruction; raining down fire and brimstone, wiping out a nation's firstborn, THOSE were Angels, not these wimps running around today.

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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

In a full white gown, blonde perm and a halo?

I say Metatron!

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

[This message has been edited by Nimrod (edited April 10, 2001).]

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

I have a few friends who can see fairies. They (the fairies) don't like that term, though. They prefer "the Sidhe" (sounds like "she").

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"There comes a time when the mind takes on a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there. All great discoveries have involved such a leap."
--Albert Einstein, on intuition.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Good. It's nice to know that Omega isn't the only person who can see things that aren't there.

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Da ni dhuilich an tagadh... baen, agus claideath.

Stay on the path.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Who did the what now?

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

He's dumbfounded and speechless, I suppose. One would assume he saw fairies. I can too. Although, it's a bugger to catch them to shove in bottles.

LSD should be tainted so that it kills more people. There'd be less shit websites around. And 'fairies'. And less shitty websites about fairies. But they're real of course, so only the web will get better.

Pass your salad. Double the tree moss please.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited April 10, 2001).]

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :

(On a lark...)

UM...if I told you that I had wings, what woulld you say about that?

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"For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

I'd say that you should give me some of the money you'd make ferrying fat old rich businessmen around who are too fat to walk because they're fat and have offended their cheauffers and have no more limosines.

Pay up, or eat a bag of hell.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :

Heh...wrong kind of wings, Bubba.

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"For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Diane: Your friends think they can see Gaelic pixies? Have they considered checking themselves into a mental hospital...?

UM: Listing oneself as a fairy on an offical government census isn't funny? And repeated references to the man train are? All our humor are belong to you, I take it?

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

TSN: No, but one of them did survive leukemia.

[This message has been edited by Tora Ziyal (edited April 11, 2001).]

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

TSN: Not at all. I was quite being serious, in fact. On Valentine's day, we filled out matchmaker forms. I listed my occupation as 'Donut'. Snickers ensued from me. It's good fun.

Shik: Chicken Wings, then? Those silly little appendages of hair protruding from under Hockey players hats, and to my shame I once sported? Was that a Bubba? Oy.

-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited April 11, 2001).]

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

"baen, agus claideath"

What's that supposed to mean, First? I've no idea what "baen" means - like bean = 'woman'?

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

I also know a couple of people who have survived leukemia, and neither of them have since seen fairies. So that can't be it...

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

According to my source. it's a toast:

"Two things are very difficult to choose: a wife, and a sword."

Of course, it's been seven years since I saw it written down, so I may have muddled it slightly.

I memorized the toast for the marriage of two friends of mine.

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Oh. I thought it was supposed to be that "stay on the path" tripe. No wonder I was puzzled, that would have began with 'N�...', not "da".

"Da ni dhuilich an tagadh... baen, agus claideath". Hmm.

Da -> Dh� Two

Ni -> Nigh Things

Baen -> Bean Woman

Claideath -> Claidheamh Sword

Not sure about the "an", but "dhuilach" looks about right.

=> Dh� nigh dhuilach a tagadh: bean, agus claidheamh.

I'm not being a nazi First, just setting the quote straight.

[This message has been edited by Gaseous Anomaly (edited April 12, 2001).]

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

What the hell is this, anyway? Gaelic or klingon? I so hope you toasted in gaelic...

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :

Looks like Irish, Nimrod...

so GA lives in Connemara? (j/k)

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"I can be creative when I have a good idea. That just happens way too rarely."
-Omega, April 6

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Which Connemara: the one on Europa or the Gaeltacht area in Galway?

Actually, right now I'm only about 30 miles away from Connemara, so there.

Besides, with Irish being our first language, all Micks are required to study it up to Leaving Cert (GCSE) level. So I'm even less special then I thought I was *sniff*

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

No doubt Irish Gaelic and Fae Gaelic have diverged slightly over the centuries.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

I blame the fairy education system. The discrimination against anyone over one foot is blatantly unconstitutional. They don't get taught as well, and they only get to appear in rubbish LSD induced visions.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

From Sci-Fi Wire:

Brit Fans To Declare "Jedi" Faith

British Star Wars fans are organizing to list "Jedi" as their official religion on U.K. census forms, the London Sunday Times reported. The fans hope to win formal recognition for their "faith" by responding to the Office for National Statistics' decennial survey of the population, the newspaper reported.

For the first time in Britain, the census, which will take place on April 29, will ask people about their religion, offering various options and a box marked "other." Star Wars fans have seized on the opportunity, and an e-mail is urging them to fill the box by declaring their religion as "Jedi." "If there are enough people who put down a religion that isn't mentioned on the census form, it becomes a fully recognized and legal religion," the e-mail said. "It usually takes about 10,000 people to nominate the same religion."

The e-mail reportedly originated in New Zealand, which held a census on March 6. Its effect there will not be properly known for up to 18 months, but some reports have estimated that 5 percent of the population decided they were Jedi knights.

But a spokesman for the Office of National Statistics said that the e-mail erred. "Regardless of how many people put down Jedi as their religion, they cannot win. It is not up to us to recognize or not recognize religions."

But now I�ve brought Star Trek into it again, haven�t I. Sorry."

- James Lileks, 09/04/2001

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Well, that's an interesting way to handle it. I can just see it now...

"Well, the returns are in from Northern Ireland. Let's see here... 'Catholic', 'Catholic', 'Catholic'... WTF? We're supposed to believe that's a real religion? No way in hell is that going on the official list..."

Hey, apparently it could happen...