Some of you may have already seen this making the e-mail rounds, but I thought this was pretty funny -- especially because I'm one of those stuck tossing back at professors what they've tossed at me.
Twas the night before finals, And all through the college, The students were praying For last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, But none touched their beds, While visions of essays danced in their heads.
Out in the taverns, A few were still drinking, And hoping that liquor would loosen up their thinking.
In my own apartment, I had been pacing, And dreading exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, His nose in his books, And my comments to him Drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot, No longer caring That my nerves were shot.
I stared at my notes, But my thoughts were muddy, My eyes went ablur, I just couldn't study.
Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver, But each place I called Refused to deliver.
I'd nearly concluded That life was too cruel, With futures depending On grades had in school.
When all of a sudden, Our door opened wide, And Patron Saint Put It Off Ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, Her manner was mellow, Her attitude fearless, She started to bellow:
"What kind of student Would make such a fuss, To toss back at teachers What they tossed at us?"
On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On Last Year's Exams! On Wingit and Slingit, And Last Minute Crams!"
Her message delivered, She vanished from sight, But we heard her laughing Outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you, So just do your best. Happy Finals to All, And to All, a good test."
Roger A. Davis, II
Appropriate, no? Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
You're just starting finals? Ha! I have two more to write and I'm done. Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
One final exam left. Just one. One is the magic number. Just one to go until the winter break hullabaloo begins. Just one.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
I start finals tomorrow, and thankfully none of them are ones that cover the entire semester. Huzzah!
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
I've been finished since Friday.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
No, it isn't. The most wonderful time of the year is that portion of it which I spend unconscious.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Super Fun Happy Simon!
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Actually, I had my first two finals last Friday. Then one Tuesday, one Wednesday, and one Friday. I wish I didn't have to spread them out so much, but I suppose it gives me some time to study.
Ha! Posted by StarFire (Member # 748) on :
quote:Originally posted by TSN: I've been finished since Friday.
Shush, you. I aced my Goverment exam this morning. Have my Paralegalism one tomorrow morning...and I have no idea whatsoever about what it's over. Oh well. I'll wing it. And right now, I'm elbow deep in Amrican Lit essay. Yay for me.
*hunts coffee*
Posted by superslowmo (Member # 875) on :
i was done for the semester at 10:30 am on wednesday hehe
and that poem/whatever is really funny/true hahaha
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
The last of my final exams is coming up in seven hours. It's a cumulative exam of the entire statistics course, which means it'll be hard. And my professor is an incredibly sadistic bastard, which means it'll be doubly hard.
Pity me.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
You have my sincere pity, Siegfried. I also took an intro statistics course this semester -- not fun at at all. Fortunately for me, there are only two professors and four TA's for a total of seven hundred students this semester, causing chaos for the teaching staff. Therefore, my final exam (given this morning at 8 AM -- how horrible is that!) was only a bunch of multiple choice questions, which are a whole lot easier than short-answer, at least for me. I knew enough of the material to be able to make an educated guess for the answers I couldn't get right off the bat, and it's pretty tough to BS your way through a short-answer math problem.
Good luck! Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Thanks, I need all the help I can get. I've studied the material thoroughly, but mathematics just isn't my strong suit. This is my second time taking this statistics course, and the material isn't any clearer to me now than it was last time (although I do seem to be making a somewhat better grade this time around).
This is the second to last of the general business courses I need to take before I can concentrate on my major courses. Yay!
Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
I wrote my last exam this morning. It was physics. I hate physics. The multiple choice wasn't all that bad, and we had to do 6 out of 8 of the long answer problems. I did about 4-5 of them, and even those weren't too great... Posted by leuckinc (Member # 729) on :
Statistics must be popular this semester as I too just finished taking my final for that class... Yeck, I say!
Posted by StarFire (Member # 748) on :
Damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit....
My alarm never went off this morning. It was set, it's still set. It just never went off. Know what that means, right? Yup. I totally missed BOTH of my classes. And my one exam.
Fortunately, my teachers like me and I go to a small business college. I get to go in tomorrow and turn in the essays. And on Thurs I take the exam. He had that slot set up for people like me. heh.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by StarFire: I aced my Goverment exam this morning. Have my Paralegalism one tomorrow morning...
A parawhatnow?
Posted by StarFire (Member # 748) on :
A paralegal. Legal assistant but with more education. I do the dirty work for lawyers. But can also go undercover and stuff too- if I want.
Basically that class was just there for us to get ready for internships.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
My statistics exam was evil. 18 weeks worth of material crammed into 32 questions. And two of the questions were "What is the capital of Sweden?" and "What is the capital of Afghanistan?" Why the hell were these mixed in with a statistics exam!?
And, to top everything else off, some of the questions were misleadingly simple. You didn't even have to do any calculations to get the answer. I'm fearful of those questions, dabnabbit! Damn it all, all I need is a frikkin' D- in this class, and I'll be happy.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
quote:And, to top everything else off, some of the questions were misleadingly simple. You didn't even have to do any calculations to get the answer. I'm fearful of those questions, dabnabbit! Damn it all, all I need is a frikkin' D- in this class, and I'll be happy.
Indeed. I had the same problem. And I got the chance to check my answers last night because we were allowed to keep our question sheet (which I also marked my responses on for future reference), and the answers were posted online.
My grade: 15/25. 60%.
Damn, I'm screwed. I have no idea what my grade was in the class before this, but I'll be lucky to keep a C- for my final grade now. Posted by E. Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"You didn't even have to do any calculations to get the answer."
Personally, I'd welcome that kind of exam. Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
quote:Originally posted by StarFire: Damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit....
My alarm never went off this morning. It was set, it's still set. It just never went off. Know what that means, right? Yup. I totally missed BOTH of my classes. And my one exam.
quote:TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- Florida State quarterback Chris Rix was suspended for the Nokia Sugar Bowl on Tuesday because he overslept and missed a final exam.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"And two of the questions were 'What is the capital of Sweden?' and 'What is the capital of Afghanistan?'"
The answers, of course, are "Stockholm" and "Washington, DC".
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Washington, DC wasn't one of the choices for that question.
I'm probably not going to find out my statistics grade for a few days. The professor has posted the answers to the exam; however, we weren't allowed to keep the exam questions, scratch paper, or formula sheet. I'll just have to wait until my grade is posted. Yay.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
I would assume the questions about the capitals have to do with a statistical analysis of your class and their geographic aptitude. Of course, if I was a TA, I'd still mark people down for missing those two, but that because I'm an elitist snob who feels that our nations pathetic awareness of events and facts outside of our borders requires immediate attention, and should, as such, be dismissed as a fringe element.
I finished up my finals last Thursday. I'm still catching up on the sleep.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
quote:Originally posted by Siegfried: Washington, DC wasn't one of the choices for that question.
You get multiple choice exams? I would kill to get multiple choice. No fair!!
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Yes, my statistics exam was multiple choice. It was a multiple choice exam written by an incredibly sadistic bastard. They solved the problems using every little mistake they could think of and used them as an answer. If you forgot that two-tailed hypotheses needed the alpha to be divided by 2, the answer you would get would be there. And, of course, there's always the "None of the above" answer. Bah.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
quote:Originally posted by Siegfried: They solved the problems using every little mistake they could think of and used them as an answer. If you forgot that two-tailed hypotheses needed the alpha to be divided by 2, the answer you would get would be there.
My professor pulled the same tricks... they're evil, I tell you, EVIL!
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Well, I suppose that's slightly harder than I thought... . Mind you, I can't stand maths/stats at all. Much prefer history. On the other hand, that exam was painful ; I ended up writing 12 pages in 2 hours...
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Hey Wraith, you're a history student too? I had my History final yesterday -- early American period, 1789-1825. Loved the class, but writing essays by hand is a bitch. I probably wrote 11 pages in a standardized blue exam booklet.
I also got my semester grade for my statistics class -- I'm pleasantly surprised that I got a "B-"... I was expecting a "C" or lower with a near-failed final exam... But at least the "B-" isn't as hard to explain to my parents than it would be if I had gotten a "C" after telling them that I was doing fine in the class...
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
quote:Originally posted by MinutiaeMan: Hey Wraith, you're a history student too? I had my History final yesterday -- early American period, 1789-1825. Loved the class, but writing essays by hand is a bitch. I probably wrote 11 pages in a standardized blue exam booklet.
Yep; I'm doing A-level history at the moment; Tudor England (Henry VIII at the moment) and Russia 1891-1917; both of which I haven't done before so it's very interesting. Did GCSE history last year; we could either have done the American West and History of Medicine or a course with both World wars, the rise of the dictators and relations between the superpowers. Guess which one my school chose? Yes, the American West/ Medicine one. Nowhere near as interesting but probably easier to pass.
I'm mainly interested in the Napoleonic period and American 1840-65 although I'd read pretty much anything about anywhen . I'll probably do a history degree, i'm looking at courses now.