I liked the part about a major international bank using a Yahoo.com address the best... Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Now that's pretty damn good Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Here's what happens if you reply to one of those things, and you are Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka.
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
inspiration has struck.. since i had one of these kicking around in my inbox, i decided to wite a little reply.
quote:From: "FRANK OKERE" Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 04:53:31 To: [email protected] Subject: STRICLTY CONFIDENTIAL Good Day, With warm heart I offer my friendship, and my greetings, and I hope this letter meets you in good time. It will be surprising to you to receive this proposal from me since you do not know me personally. However, I am sincerely seeking your confidence in this transaction, which I propose with my free mind and as a person of integrity. My name is Mr.Frank Okere, the first son of Matimue Okere,of the most popular black farmer from Zimbabwe, murdered in the land dispute in my country. As led by my instict, I decided to contact you through email, after searching for contacts via the internet, as it is the only means I can contact anybody since I am cutting off ties with Zimbabwe for security and safety reasons. However,I apologize if this is not acceptable to you. The purpose of this letter is to seek your most needed assistance in a business venture. Due to the the land and political problems in Zimbabwe, as a result of President Robert Mugabe's introduction of new Land Act Reform wholly affecting the rich white farmers and the few rich black farmers, and his desire to hold on to power for life, my father forsaw the danger that came in Zimbabwe. Before he was murdered, he withdrew all of our business foreign accounts in dollars and sold up our shares in major companies. We then went to Johannesburg, South Africa to deposit the sum of US$14.5 million (Fourteen million, Five Hundred thousand US dollars), in a private security company. This money was deposited with this Private Security company for safety and security reasons, and was to be used for the purchase of land, new machines and chemicals establishment of new farms in Botswana and Swaziland. President Mugabe's support for the violent imbabwean war veterans and some lunatics in the society, led to the murder of my beloved father and other innocent lives. I was continually threatened to abandon my inheritance from my father after he was murdered. I resited for a while, but when the danger became unbearable, and I survived two murder attempts, I fled Zimbabwe to South Africa where I was arrested and detained for eight(8 good month)in jail.I fled south Africa for The Netherlands with the help of the present prison command chief officer in Charge(P.C.C.O) I am currently staying in the Netherlands where I am seeking political asylum. In fact my decision to come here to seek asylum, is because the security company from South Africa, has a branch here, and they have moved the deposit from their office in Johannesburg here. I need to transfer this money to an account and invest part of the money. Since the law of Netherlands prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) to open any bank account or to be involved in any financial transaction, this is why I am seeking a genuine and reliable partner, whose account this money can be transferred, hence this proposal to you.You have to understand that this decision taken by me entrusts my future and in your hands, as a result of the safe keeping of this money. If you accept to assist me, all I want you to do for me, is to assist with arrangements to claim the deposit from the security company from their office here in The Netherlands, as it has now been transfered from Johannesburg, South Africa to their branch here. The company will be legally informed of you representing me. For your assistance, I have two options for you. Firstly you can choose to have 10% of the money for your assistance, and helping me open an account for the money to be deposited here, or you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of the money in your country. Whichever the option you want, please to notify me in your reply. I have also set aside 1%($145,000,00) of this money for all kinds of expenses that come our way in the process of this transaction, and 4% ($580,000,00) for Charity donation. If you prefer to accept the 10% for assisting with opening an account, then 85%will be left in the account here for me. Please, I want you to maintain the absolute secrecy for the purpose of this transaction. I look forward to your reply and co-operation, and I thank you in advance as I anticipate your co-operation. Thanks and God bless. Sincerely, Frank Okere
quote: Date: Wed, 5 Mar 2003 12:36:41 -0800 (PST) From: "Captain Mike" Subject: Re: STRICLTY CONFIDENTIAL To: "FRANK OKERE" Michael Capstan 1701 Enterprise Way Broken Bow, OK 74728 Mr. Okere, Thank you for "E"-mailing me with word of this opportunity. In my profession as the assistant chief accountant for Mrs. Clanghorn's Dry Cleaning Associates, I have had many opportunities to manage funds in many different ways, for example, when Mrs. Clanghorn had me attend the financial meeting regarding the opening of her second location, and I supplied my "E" mail address so that she might contact me when I was working in the second building on Chickenshit Street. We never got the computer to boot up, but I'm thankful that my Yahoo! "E" mail address has come to good use. Did you get the address from Mr. Doherty at the bank? He is always very careful to commend my accounting skills, when I slide the deposit envelope all the way into the slot and then securely lock it at the end of the night, he says its a real bonus despite my learning disabilities that keep me from becoming Chief Accountant. I think that my bank account would be ideal for the transaction, I opened it 13 years ago when I turned 29 and moved out of my mother's basement and into the shed on her property, and since then have kept tidy records of it. I have never overdrawn my account once, in 13 years! I am eager to see what else my diligence in dealing with accounting and bank matters can accomplish. I'm glad that I'd have the ability to help without actually traveling to Johannesburg or dealing with any Negroes. I read in a magazine that Joburg is the crime capital of the world and the Negroes there would kill you for just being white, and then remove the fillings from your teeth. I assure you, Mr. Okere, that none of my teeth fillings are made from any precious metal, if that is the kind of transaction you had in mind. I also heard that the Negroes killed each other, which is a correct assumption based on how the Godless savages must have murdered your father, whom you stated is also a Negroe. I was told that the term 'black' was politically incorrect when dealing with Negroes, so I find it odd that you use it in reference to yourself and your father? Perhaps things are different in Jimbabwe and Niggeria, where Negroes do not care whether they are called 'black' or not. Do they speak some other Darkie language in your country? We don't hear too much about the Dark Continent here in Oklahoma. By the way, you mentioned CONFIDENTIALITY in your "E" mail with much emphasis. I must ask the same of you. If my pa found out that I was exchanging "E" mails with a Negroe, he would whip me like he whipped my brother for being fellated by a Mexican girl. So I must ask of you, no one in Broken Bow may know of me having any financial dealings with Negroes. The only one who knows right now is the spinster Merriwether, who types my letters into her lap-atop computer for me, because I cannot write proper. I hope that the week since I recieved your "E" mail is nopt too much time elapsed. The spinster comes over my house frequently to show me exciting images on her lap-atop, so that we may sin together, but last week she was bleeding and therefore we did not use the interweb. I am eagerly awaiting your reply so that we may become big businessmen together! Michael Capstan
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
quote: If my pa found out that I was exchanging "E" mails with a Negroe, he would whip me like he whipped my brother for being fellated by a Mexican girl.
You might want to change "being fellated by" to "gittin a hummer from".
(wonders off to another thread)
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
I've gotten an idea for a great prank response at some point:
Since so many of these messages use the same basic format -- i.e. "the most popular black farmer from Zimbabwe" -- I thought it might be a fun idea to play upon those similarities.
For instance, respond to one -- "I just got an e-mail last week from (someone else), who also said he was the son of the most popular black farmer in Zimbabwe. You might want to track him down and figure out who's really the most popular before you start asking for help. Get that settled, then get back to me."
Posted by Cartmaniac (Member # 256) on :
"Jimbabwe and Niggeria"
Classic.
Posted by Daryus Aden (Member # 12) on :
I actually got a similar letter in the mail a couple of months back. Seemed too good to be true, so I did some checking.....and voila...international scam. Glad I didn't call.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
401 scams are not uncommon. In fact, they're almost single-handedly responsible for the wiring of Nigeria.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
404 - Scam could not be found.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
captain mike: That reply, quite simply, rocks Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Sorry to bring this up again, but I just read this link my brother sent me, and, once I got over the hysterics, just had to pass it on. 8)
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Has anyone heard if the SCO Group has moved to Nigeria? Based on this letter, that appears to be the case... Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
I know some people don't like to see old topics resurrected like this, but I got this message this morning, and it appears that the Nigerian spammers are getting (slightly) smarter...
quote:Subject: NEXT OF KIN TO LATE MICHAEL CARLSON
Dear Carlson,
I am Barrister Johnson Madu Solicitor, I am the Personal Attorney to Mr.Michael Carlson national of Your country, who used to work with shell development,Company in Nigeria.
On the 21st of April 2000, my client, his wife and Their three children were involved in a car accident Along Sagamu/Lagos Express Road. Unfortunately they All Lost their lives in the event of the accident, since Then I have made several enquiries to your Embassy
to Locate any of my clients extended relatives, this Has also proved unsuccessful. After these several Unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his Relatives over the Internet, to locate any member of His family but of no avail, hence I contacted you.
I contacted you to assist in repatriating the money In addition, property left behind by my client before they get Confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank Where this huge deposits were lodged. Particularly, the Bank where the deceased had an account valued at about US$7million dollars.
Conseqently, The bank issued me a notice to provide The next of kin or have the account confiscated within The next twenty official working days. Since I have been Unsuccessful in locating the the relatives For over 2 years now I seek your consent to present You as the next of kin of the deceased since you are From the same country and you, share the same surname So that the proceeds of this account valued at US$7 Million dollars can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money. 45% to me and 45% to you,while 10% Should be for expenses or tax as your government may Require.
I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up Any claim we may make. All I require is Your honest cooperation to enable us sees this deal Through. I guarantee that this will be executed under A legitimate arrangement that will protect you from Any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me by my email to Enable us discuss further and also your telephone numbers
Best regards,
Barrister Johnson Madu.{esq}
Of course, it's still the same old scheme... just now they're matching names to the addresses. Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Appalling grammar.
[ November 14, 2003, 07:08 AM: Message edited by: Wraith ]
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
To say nothing about them Nigerians' grammar.
Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
I just got this the other day, kinda a new twist.
quote:From: Mrs Serena Jones
PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE THIS MONEY AS INSTRUCTED IN THIS LETTER.
I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Dr. Harry Jones who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2000. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of$8.6Million (Eight Million six hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) with Guarantee finance/security company in Amsterderm Holland. Presently, this money is still with the Security Company.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this funds to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this fund to fund churches, orphanages,fight against cancer, and aids to refugees of war.I took this decision because I dont`t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don`t want my husband`s hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don`t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner.
Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don`t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and also because of the presence of my husband`s relatives around me always. I don`t want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as you receive this letter contact my Attorney who left Ivory coast because of this transaction.
I will instruct him to issue you a letter of authorisation/change of ownership that will prove you as the present sole-beneficiary of this funds. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must worship him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I instructed in this letter Hoping to hearing from you.
N.B-PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO GIVE THE LAWYER IN CHARGE A CALL IN HOLLAND IMMEDIATELY, HE WILL ASIST YOU ON MY BEHALF AND HE'S VERY UNDERSTANDING AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN JESUS
Seeing as I am an atheist, and god knows we are all evil, I should send for the money and waste it on wine, women and song, if you can call that wasting money. Or perhaps Omega would like to help them out.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
quote:When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of$8.6Million...
Which is much better than the guy depositing his money after he died, of course... Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Dealing with dead people, in such an environment as a bank, well, they stink, making it very difficult to not offend them by gagging all over them and your cash drawer. I mean, sure, most of them try not to, going to the embalmer once and a while, but, and I don't want to sound racist or anything, it is just the way they are.....
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Keep in mind, that to sound like it comes from a regular person, in a third work country, it has to SOUND like it comes from a regular person.. yadda yadda. It's like Engrish. The Japanese are perfectly capable of using English, but there is a certain marketing mystique to sounding amaturish.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lee: Sorry to bring this up again, but I just read this link my brother sent me, and, once I got over the hysterics, just had to pass it on. 8)
LOL I laughed till I cried! heheheheheh!
Posted by Spike (Member # 322) on :
Hell, I signed up for the fax a new email account, and seeded a few guest books, lets see what happens...
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
OMG Spike! That is truly a classic! heheheheheh.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Fantastic!
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
I just love how these scamming dumbfucks are so totally oblivious to the fact that they themselves are being manipulated. B)
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
Sometimes I wonder if these scammers aren't just using some kind of automated program to summarize incoming responses, pluck out a few choice phrases to reference, and make it look like there's a real person responding when it's really some spammer who's just doing more point-n-click.
Now, I have the utmost faith in the complete and utter stupidity of Humanity, but I find it hard to believe that someone is quite THAT stupid! Haven't they caught on to the fact that there are pranksters out there who love to bait-n-reply these days?
And personally, I think that 32� angles are the sweetest of all. Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
They probably don't care if people prank them back, since there are still other stupid people out there willing to fall for this and give them money/information.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
Has everyone received one of these types of e-mails from nearly every African country!?! I think I have.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
I've actually seen one from Hong Kong...woot.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
loot?
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
w00tageness
Posted by Toadkiller (Member # 425) on :
quote:Originally posted by Toadkiller: The saga continues here.
Geez, moron...
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
I love scamorama.com. Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Oxford is full of twats.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
As are most of the "high and mighty" universities.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
True. Cambridge is a bit better. But I do know some people who had the grades to go to Oxford who intentionally didn't go, because they didn't want to end up like arrogant upper-class arseholes.
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
What's wierd is that Cambridge approached me last year...an American who, while quite intelligent, wasn't within 15% of the top of his class...
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Well, the US Marines wanted me for three years.
...and I'm a lot of things, but military material is surely not one of them.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
How on earth did Cambridge approach you? Did they send mysterious men dressed in black?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
No, the whole college stood up, hiked a huge ass dress up around its old crumbling buildings, and walked over to him and said, "Hi, my name is Cambridge, would you like to dance, or shall I just crush you with this dormitory?"
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Caimbridge needed a mascot and...
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
How on Earth can you misspell something that's just been spelled correctly four times in the last five posts?
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
Easily
Posted by Manticore (Member # 1227) on :
I got like three or four letters from them detailing a lot of various departments and stuff, along with letters from at least a hundred other school.
And the Navy, Air Force, and Army all were after me for some reason...Jason can testify to the fact that I wouldn't make any physicals...especially in the Air Force. Posted by Toadkiller (Member # 425) on :
Especially in the Chair Force?? I don't think they have any physical quals past riding a exercise bike twice a decade.
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