I was driving home, on this country road, and this uppity little stupid sucidal DEER decides to RUN ACROSS THE ROAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. So I flash my brights, hit my horn & my brake ... and the little fucking waste of venison decides to run BACK ACROSS THE OTHER WAY.
My next car had better be equipped with ASSWADS: Anti-Stupid Suicidal Woodlife Animal Defense System!!!!!
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Hahaha! Deer!!!
Like, number two on awesome topics that never tire!
Number one: Plastic and plastic accessories.
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
Darth Celica indeed. No worse than Darth Jeep. Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
Perhaps a change to "Darth Herkimer Battle Jitney" is in order.
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
Ummm, I'm glad you're okay and all, but let me just say this - you hurt that new car of yours and I'm gonna have to hurt you! Oy!
I haven't even gotten a chance to help you put a stereo in it yet... yeesh!
Avoid the country roads. And deer. Definately avoid deer.
Maybe you should just stop driving? It's a thought.... use your car more as something to LOOK at, rather than a tool for travel? I'm just sayin'...........
~LOA
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
He can't avoid country roads. The whole AREA is conutry roads. Even Manor Rd. & that's a semi-major one.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, if he's going to live where every road is a "country road", he should be driving a tractor, not a car.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Have you considered trading the Celica for one of these?:
You might need it...
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
You could probably skewer a moose on that grille... 'Twould be a grand prize, eh, Jeff? You've been playing in the minor league long enough now.
Posted by Cartmaniac (Member # 256) on :
And you could hang deer skulls on the side bars. Predator-style.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 24) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ultra Magnus: Hahaha! Deer!!!
Like, number two on awesome topics that never tire!
Number one: Plastic and plastic accessories.
Then the logical intersection of these two conversations would be the recommendation that Snay should drive a plastic car. Tnen he could just bounce off Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Just buy a tank and be done with it.
On the other hand that...thing The359 posted looks fairly sunstantial!
quote:So I flash my brights
Isn't that illegal?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
To flash my high beams? No, there wasn't any other traffic.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
Oh, I get it.. I assumed that was a typo for lights.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Oh, no. Snay let one get away. You know that he's back at headquarters informing them about what transpired. Soon, there will be an army of vension rampaging across Merryland looking for the one they simply call The Devourer of Deer Flesh.
Fear the mad deer, Snay. Fear them.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
He could haul away at least half a dozen Bambis inside the H2. Save up enough food for a fine feast for every meal of the day. And at the same time run over anyone on the road who gives you trouble. You could be king of the country roads, think of it!
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
"You have run over 6000 pounds of meat. However, you can only carry 550 back to the wagon."
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"Oh, I get it.. I assumed that was a typo for lights."
That doesn't explain, then, why you thought it was illegal for someone to flash their lights on and off...
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
It's illegal to operate a motor vehicle after dark with the headlights off, TSN.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
That answered nothing.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Yes, it answered TSN's "That doesn't explain, then, why you thought it was illegal for someone to flash their lights on and off..."
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
In crazy land where answers do not match questions, perhaps.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
If you say so, Mr. Common Sense.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
See, if you flashed the brights, it would suggest you already had the lights on, so it was probably dark. But he thought "brights" was "lights". Remove "brights" from your original post, and there's absolutely nothing to suggest that you were in the dark.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
But if you're an above average Flare poster, and you look at the time I posted, correct that for eastern standard time (where I am), and come to the not-illogical conclusion that I was a bit fired up because said incident had occured recently, and one would estimate that it happened at some point not distantly prior to the post. The post was at 10:44pm, so it was not a giant leap to think "it was dark out."
Because it WAS.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I thought that he was humourously misunderstanding "flash my brights" as some sort of "I showed my genitals" thing. As in the other version of "flashing", and with "brights" being some sort of euphamism. He thought that brights was a typo, and therefore up for humourous misinterpretation. If he knew that "brights" was intentional, then he would have probably assumed that it was an American term for "high/main beam".
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Also, I never thought I'd tire (ha!) of hearing how bad a driver Jeff is, but...can't you find a new thing to be crap at, Jeffrey?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
How do you figure I'm a bad driver, Liam? Or are you somehow suggesting that deer never run out in front of drivers who are good? They have an extra sense, perhaps?
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Well, I've never hit a deer.
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
Been driving since 1990, and I've hit two deer. Must make me a Very Bad Driver then.
Does the H2 come with a pop-up chain-gun option? You could link that to the Themal Tracker Widget option and have it waste anything over 80 degrees F that crosses your path. Volia! No more deer!
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
I would have thought by now that it would be clear where all these deer are coming from.
One of these days, one of them will get lucky. Oh, yes, they will. The Elite Kamikaze Odocoileinae Division (EKOD) always gets its man.
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
quote: Avoid the country roads. And deer. Definately avoid deer.
He does not chose the deer, the deer chose him. No matter where he goes, they will find him.
I have a buddy that has the same problem. Deer jump out in front of his car.
He was driving home one night, driving through the capitol city of West Virginia, somewhere where I'd never seen a deer in my then 40 years. So he's driving along the boulevard, city on one side, river on the other. A Deer, coming up to the street from the river, jumped the curb and into the side of Monty's car, denting everything from door to back bumper. There is no where to run to baby, no where to hide.
Posted by Bigtom (Member # 1068) on :
Well you're drivin' home about half drunk You ain't got no money you're down on your luck You're awfully hungry, but can't get your fill What you need right now is some fresh road kill
Now do the boogie The road kill boogie Yeah you're doing that boogie The road kill boogie
With some feathers on the windshield, and blood on the grill If you do it just right you can get some fresh road kill Swerve to the left, swerve to the right Then you skin 'em , and cook 'em that very night
Now do the boogie The road kill boogie Yeah you're doing that boogie The road kill boogie
Now look out fido, and look out coon If you don't move fast you'll be dinner soon Go for that rabbit, or that bobwhite quail Or aim for the squirrel with the bushy tail
Now do the boogie The road kill boogie Yeah you're doing that boogie The road kill boogie
Now you break off the beaks, and pull out the claws "Cause you wanna' give some to your mother in law Cut off a piece, and give it to the kids "Cause they need to know how good life is
Now do the boogie The road kill boogie Yeah you're doing that boogie The road kill boogie
cp-2003-feoyloco music-BMI
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Styro, that H2 only belongs to MI6's Q branch... although I bet Snay wouldn't mind being behind the wheel of teh Aston Martin Vanquish that was in Die Another Day.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Screw Snay, if anyone deserves ANY Aston Martin its me, dammit!
MINE!
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Styrofoaman: Been driving since 1990, and I've hit two deer. Must make me a Very Bad Driver then.
Not compared to Jeff, who has been driving since (I think) about 1996, and has hit roughly 7 billion deer. And a duck. You bastard, Jeff.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
quote:although I bet Snay wouldn't mind being behind the wheel of teh Aston Martin Vanquish that was in Die Another Day.
Do you know how many deer I'd be hitting if they COULDN'T see me? I mean, look how many I'm hitting on a daily basis and they CAN see me.
Liam:
*A* duck? Er, ok.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
I'd hate to see you hit anything with a $225,000+ car... Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
I'd hate to see anyone pay $225 000 for a car.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Not unless it's a gift or you get a discount from Ford since you're Pierce Brosnan.
Posted by CaptainMike20X6 (Member # 709) on :
I'd hate to see Pierce Brosnan in a car. Especially if there was a leprechaun vomiting on him.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
Pierce Brosnan did buy his own Vanquish after the movie was finished.
By the way, love the new displayed name CaptainMike. Strong Bad 0wnz... Posted by CaptainMike20X6 (Member # 709) on :
1936!
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Are you asking for a CHALLENGE???
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
A duck? I agree. You BASTARD!
quote:Originally posted by PsyLiam: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Styrofoaman: [qb] And a duck. You bastard, Jeff.
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
What the...
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
..."fuck"?
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Girls are full of spiders.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Girls are full of candy....mmmmm.....sweet sweet candy. Posted by CaptainMike20X6 (Member # 709) on :
dooouble deeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuce !! Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
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