I accept that my lovelife sucks. I poke lots of fun at it; I allow others to poke lots of fun at it. My lovelife sucks, and Rick Berman has a better chance of turning Enterprise into the best Trek series ever than I do of getting involved in a serious long-term relationship with a woman before it's time for me to sucking at the government's teat for my livelihood.
I've been proud of myself the last couple of years. While I'd like to have girlfriend, it hasn't been the pressing desire that it's been in the past. I guess actually having had a date alleviated that desire a bit. Or, possibly, it's because I haven't had a romantic interest in any woman stronger than a mild crush for the past couple years. Regardless, in my priorities, having a romantic relationship ranks lower than making sure to catch the latest Zoids Fuzors episode. And I think that series sucks.
However, Thanksgiving has made me re-examine that space in my heart that should belong to my lover but is currently where I hide my stash of Hostess Ding Dongs from my roommate. Hey, I've got a big heart. The holiday made me realize that, out of my extended family, the only single and never-been-kissed people are myself and my cousin Josh. And Josh is 5th grade special ed student. My cousin Brad used to be on the list, but he's dating a girl now who he boasts has big breasts.
Friday night, I went to a small get-together hosted by my friend Stephen. There were only five of us, and we ate out on the patio because the only open booth in the restaurant was unable to handle my gerth (don't biggie-size my value meal, just biggie-size the eat-in dining areas). Naturally, the topic turned to my lovelife and we spent half an hour making fun of it.
After making the customary jokes at my expense (and it's easy, since I actually own an inflatible European love doll now) and writing down some of the better ones, Martin, Theo, and Jesus started giving me pick-up tips and advice on women. Much later, when I doing my part fo the economy by going to Starbuck's with Stephen and Martin, I realized the irony of all that advice I got. I'm at the point now that I'm getting women advice from gay men.
And I giggled at that because they told me I ought to try picking up chicks at symphony singles night mixers, cat shows, political rallies, and Star Trek conventions.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Something's definitely wrong when you're getting relationship advice from Jesus.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
He cant even eat M&M's!
Dont forget that you can lose weight and Berman/Braga have three and a half years to make Enterprise great. It's already better than Voyager and half of TOS.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Jesus is Theo's boyfriend, and that night was the first time I had met him. Really nice guy. I don't think I'll take his advice on where to meet girls at. I'd hate to think what I'd look like after wrestling the cat into the bath to pretty her up for a cat show.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Hey, at least you HAVE a lovelife. Bizarre or not, that does set you apart from, oh, most of the guys here. B)
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Jesus and Theo?
Surely people are going to be pissing themselves all the way through the wedding ceremony?
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
So "Gift of God" is dating "God will help"? Har.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cartman: Hey, at least you HAVE a lovelife. Bizarre or not, that does set you apart from, oh, most of the guys here. B)
That's the thing, though. I don't really have a lovelife. I took that punk out back, shot it in the head, and buried it in a shallow grave by the creek. And yet, I get women advice and pick-up tips. And, I mean, look at all the guys here who either have girlfriends, recently had girlfriends, or are chick magnets: TSN, The359, Topher, Charles Capps, Sol System, PsyLiam, Omega, Captain Mike, Snay, Krenim, etc. Compared to them, I might as well cut off my fun parts and auction them off on eBay.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Tim?
Jeff?
Omega?
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Liam?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"...the guys here who either have girlfriends, recently had girlfriends, or are chick magnets: TSN..."
Wow. I top the list, and I don't even know which of those things I am. Unless "recently" extends back more than two years.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I stand by my assertions.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cartman: Liam?
Hey, I'm in the select group of "person who has gone out with someone else who frequents Flare".
Although, thinking about it, I'm not sure that makes me cooler.
Still, I demand a recount and reordering.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Musicians, by their very nature, are WAY hotter than pretty much everyone else. Play your trumpet in a cool (swing) band, start wearing dark suits and fancy shoes, possibly a hat at a rakish angle. You'll soon be sucking at the honey teat. And since horn players don't have to pack up up a drum-kit or FX pedals and amps after the show, you'll get your pick of the litter. (also if you play Flugel, the ladies will always be curious about your instrument)
I've a story which seems tailor made for our purveyor of things erotique et minscule: before we went out, the hottest woman I've ever dated was going steady with the trumpet-playing midget bandleader of a swing band. The guy wasn't even very good looking. Like not even 4-1/2 feet tall.
Precious Siggy, you're so money and you don't even know it.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Well, I've been thinking about what Siggy wrote, and I had some sage advice to offer. But then he didn't include me in his list (despite my classic tale of struggling through adversity to find true love), so he can sod off and die alone. 8)
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by PsyLiam: Still, I demand a recount and reordering.
I'm a Republican. We don't believe in recounts.
quote:Originally posted by Balaam Xumucane: Precious Siggy, you're so money and you don't even know it.
Damn it. I guess this means I actually have to start practicing again.
quote:Originally posted by Lee: Well, I've been thinking about what Siggy wrote, and I had some sage advice to offer. But then he didn't include me in his list (despite my classic tale of struggling through adversity to find true love), so he can sod off and die alone.
Yes, thank you, I intend to do just that. And, sweet Jebus sucking down amaretto sours, I included an "etc." in my list!
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
quote:Originally posted by Siegfried: The359
Mine dumped me in April after about 10 months together, depending on how you define "together". Prior to that I had a shitty relationship of 3 months that I regret. Prior to that I had nothing. I am definatly not deserving of being on that list for any sort of comparison.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I dunno. Remember, Omega's on there too.
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
I wanna get married....
Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :
I've wanted to get married most of my life. Spent a long time looking for her. Finally found her after about fourteen years of active searching (knowing what I wanted and didn't want). She's awesome... Just ask Topher.
--Jonah
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
quote:Originally posted by LOA: I wanna get married....
Sweet! I'll meet you in Vegas in....say, three days? Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
One funeral and a wedding... and then shortly thereafter another funeral.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
So....you're saying she's dangerous?!?
mmmm....dangerous.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Maybe I should just change my publicly-displayed name to 'etc.'
Posted by Austin Powers (Member # 250) on :
My last relationship ended in October 2002 after almost three wonderful years. In the first few months after I tried to find someone new, but now I have come to enjoy the advantages of being single more and more.
Only at this time of the year it is kind of strange, what with Christmas being a time of love and enjoying time together with your loves ones...
And I always wanted to get married. Actually I wanted to marry the girl that is now my ex - but that's life...
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"...the hottest woman I've ever dated was going steady with the trumpet-playing midget bandleader of a swing band. The guy wasn't even very good looking. Like not even 4-1/2 feet tall."
Case in point: she left him. B)
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
If you were my friend Aaron, then I'd be complaining about your bad mannerisms, the way you speak, and how every third word that comes out of your mouth has something to do with sex.
I don't think you are. Aaron is 26, and still hasn't even gotten A date. And he's complaining. Since he is stubborn like a mule, I guess there is nothing my friends or myself can say to him. He may as well be forever doomed to the life of a unpopular bachelor.
That being said, you'll probably have more luck. The only issue is whether or not you'll have to fight for a date or if a date will come to you. Given from the picture that you posted earlier, and the fact that I am nowhere close to being a sex god, and the fact that I had to fight hard to get a girlfriend (and date her for 5 years), the only issue here is, yes you'll eventually get one, but how hard you have to fight for it is the question.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cartman: "...the hottest woman I've ever dated was going steady with the trumpet-playing midget bandleader of a swing band. The guy wasn't even very good looking. Like not even 4-1/2 feet tall."
Case in point: she left him. B)
That's true, she did. But then she and I dated sporadically for maybe three weeks. If I remember correctly, she'd gone out with the little guy for nearly six months.
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
The girl I was seeing just changed her mind this weekend. I say changed her mind because that's pretty much all it was. For three months we've been talking about marriage... what our lives would be like, how awesome our relationship will be, how incredible it's been to know one another, etc. Seemingly, we were everything the other person wanted. In fact, I know we were because we've expressed that many a time.
This week, though... she changed her mind. Not just about me... she's started to question many aspects of her life. But this weekend she left because she couldn't handle being around me any more.
Heh... silly me... I actually tried to prove the sincerity of my feelings by trying to talk to her about what was bothering her and letting her know i was there to help her. That's when she started to cry and left for home.
And women wonder why men learn to hate and fear them. I was never one of those guys that believed all women are manipulative, selfish creatures. I'm about 10 steps closer to believing that today.
Bah.
Posted by Peregrinus (Member # 504) on :
Nah. True freedom comes when you realize they're a completely separate species that we each need in order for the macrospecies to continue. Jen's my best friend, and I love her utterly. And there are also times when she takes a complete left turn from anything reason would suggest, and it takes all my understanding and patience to nudge her through the crisis point.
Aban, if you have any feelings of friendship for this girl, you won't give up on her just because she's being irrational/stupid/confusing/whatever. They do that. Push. Gently. Until she actually starts talking to you about what's going on in her head. And even if you don't end up back together, you'll both be better off for understanding her a little more.
--Jonah
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
Oh, I haven't given up, there's just nothing I can do right now. Every time I've tried to talk to her, it's made things worse. And she doesn't want me around. If I don't hear from her in a week or so, I'll try to get ahold of her. But I know she needs a few days break from me.
Posted by Tora Regina (Member # 53) on :
Maybe she cried because she knows you're the nicest guy in the world but she's not the one for you? But in any case, do try to get her to talk about it -- when she's ready. If she loves you, the least she could do is explain.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Man, Aban, that really sucks. My roommate was in the same situation a couple years ago. Only, my roommate was the one who suddenly changed his mind. That got to be a real messy sitution because the girlfriend dragged me into the fracas. I think what you're doing now, about giving her some time, is a good idea. I'll also echo what Tora has said. Just from what I know about you through your posts, you are really one of the nicest guys I think I've met. I don't think it's anything you've done to cause her to change her mind and leave. Maybe she either thinks that, now, you aren't right for her or that she suddenly got cold feet? I wish you well on this.
As for this thread, I think my lack of clarity in the original post and in my subsequent posts has led to this thread focusing on giving me advice. I really appreciate all the advice, and I really appreciate some of the humor tossed my way (boy, do I need the humour -- two killer finals on Wednesday). However, my intent wasn't to have a "oh woe is me I have no girlfriend" self-pity party. It was meant more to show that, I'm at the point where the advice I'm getting is getting a bit odd. I can see the picking up women at the symphony singles mixers. I can kinda see this at political rallies. However, at Trek conventions? I'm dubious on that.
So, to sum up, thanks for the advice, and I'll remember all of it. However, I'm not shopping for a girlfriend at the moment (or possibly ever thanks to a conversation I had today). Thank you all, and God Bless Turnips.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Wow. If Aban isn't succeeding in matters of love, then what hope have the rest of us got?
I might as well slice off my penis right now.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Ai No Corrida! Er, I mean, Ay Carumba! Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
quote: And, I mean, look at all the guys here who either have girlfriends, recently had girlfriends, or are chick magnets: ... Sol System
Bizarro Sol System, I think you mean.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Me am upbeat.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I am so depressed that I gave up on growing a beard. It looked silly anyway.
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
^
Never give up. There is a beard for every man, and some women. You just have to let grow a bit, then work with the razor to find something you like. It's been years in the process for me. Right now, my Goatee has hit about six inches long. I had one beard once, that I really liked, but like a fool, I shaved it for little reason, and have never got that shape again. It was also goatee like, but it was square. Eveytime I've tried to get it back to that shape, I've messed it up and ended up shaving and starting over. That's what led to what I have now.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"I am so depressed that I gave up on growing a beard."
The flashy red face and blinding yellow hair weren't enough for you?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
The facial hair award defintely has to go to Friedrich Nietzsche's moustache.
quote:Originally posted by TSN: And everyone wear fake facial hair. When the pictures show up, we'll no doubt hear Liam's head exploding, all the way across the Atlantic.
Notice the number of people here with real facial air. And notice the number of people here who are geeks.
And why no pictures of Charles? We took the piss enough when you had the shit teenage hippy computer programer beard. Surely now that puberty has hit, it can't look as bad, can it?
Depressed, eh?
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
I was depressed enough to start copying Charles. Then I became more depressed, and stopped. Plus I remembered that beards on young 20-somethings look stupid. Like all beards.
Plus, I don't think I had enough facial hair to pull it off. Diane laughed!
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
Soul patch.
Posted by Topher (Member # 71) on :
It's the only facial hair you need!
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
I think I'd rather keep by eyebrows/lashes first.
Posted by Harry (Member # 265) on :
You could all learn from the facial hair Meisters!
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
A woman cabbie that sometimes comes into my work has a beard about as long as those mustashes.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Just in case anyone is actually curious, this was as long as I could stand growing facial hair for, before I got sick of it: Beard. Sort of. Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
OH DEAR GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY
Where did it go wrong, Liam?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Looks like David Koresh. . .
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Either he's seeing dead people or country roads...
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Just because you have a ginger beard, Tim, there's no need to take it out on the rest of us.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Well, I copied your own hair in the picture to make the beard, so don't blame me.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
That's hair!?! The pattern looks like vinyl siding. Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
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