So last night, around 7pmish, I was driving west on Paper Mill Road, when the large SUV in front of me made a rather sudden and sharp turn onto a hidden driveway.
Confronting me on the road, previously blocked by the bulk of the SUV, was a deer.
I'm sure you can see where this was going.
Fortunatly for me, the deer was already dead (or I'd have one squashed Celica and a pancaked me inside). However, it was stretching across my lane, so, thankful for no oncoming traffic, I swerved into the other lane to avoid the bulk of the dead deer.
I am pretty sure I ran over the deer's head, though.
No word on whether or not it did a Phil Reatardo. Going over it felt like any other pot hole.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
I would have guessed that it would have been more speed bump like.
So, a quarter point for it already being dead.
Posted by Reverend (Member # 335) on :
Ever done a pigeon? Crunchy.
Posted by WizArtist II (Member # 1425) on :
Time to find that "Road Kill Cafe" cookbook.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
I used to have that poster.
Also, once I ran over a possum with the left front *and* rear tire - two distinct thuds - and when I looked in my rearview mirror the thing was *getting back up and walking away.* Heard similar stories from people around town before...those things are tough.
Posted by OverRon (Member # 2036) on :
I saw a bus run over a pigeon once, it wasn't so much crunchy, more like it went pop like bursting a baloon! I pitied the people who were standing closer and got covered in pigeon blood.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Did they use it to write hexes and spells?
Posted by The Ginger Beacon (Member # 1585) on :
Double post.
Posted by The Ginger Beacon (Member # 1585) on :
A friend of mine put a huge engine (something like a 3000cc Ford Granada auto) into his BL Mini. The radiator got so hot, he once hit a crow, and he soon after smelled something burning. When he stopped to get out and have a look, he found a roast crow, ready to go.
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
Lol, I find dead rats, birds, moles, gophers, you name it behind the front bumpers of cars at work. I sometimes put them in the back of my bosses car.
I also had an experience like GBs friend. Ran over a pigeon and it got caught up near the exhaust manifold. They smell remarkably like chicken after a couple hours.
Snay, I'm glad you didn't fuck up your car, those deer do a lot more damage than I thought possible before I started working at the BS. Just be glad you weren't on a bike, that gives me nightmares.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
That reminds me, when I was in middle school one of our teachers hit a rabbit at highway speed... it punched in his grill, shattered a headlight, and cracked a windshield. His wife thought he really hit a deer and he was pulling her chain about the rabbit, at first. Such a tiny thing...
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
My uncle destrpyed his daughter's cat one chilly morning when he started up his car: the cat was (some-fucking-how) up inside the engne for warmth (it gets cold in gainsville where they live). Turns out there is a local service that deals with roadkills and offers pressure-cleaning of cars and such. He said the cat was torn to shreds (by the belts I suppose).
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
To shreds, you say?
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
I AM SPOILER GOD
FEAR MY WRATH
THE SPECIFICS AND, INDEED, FACT OF PHIL LEOTARDO'S DEATH CONSTITUTE SPOILERS FOR THE SOPRANOS FINALE EPISODE "MADE IN AMERICA" WHICH, IF IT HADN'T JUST BEEN SHOWN IN THE UK WOULD ENSURE YOU WOULD BE WEARING THE ANTLERS OF YOUR LATEST VICTIM, ONLY SURGICALLY INSERTED VIA YOUR. . .
STOP!!
Wha... ER, WHAT?
I AM DEER GOD
FEAR MY WRATH MORE
DEER GOD!
THE VERY SAME. WE HAVE PLANS FOR THE SNAY.
FINE. TAKE HIM, HE'S YOURS. BOOR BUGGER.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Atta boy Lee, verily I read that......
Jason, between the belt and fan blades they make a mess alright, although not a lot of cat noise....
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
I think the thing that Snay hasn't really told us is that he somehow KILLED the deer before he came onto it in his Celica. Probably forsaw the danger the deer was to his beloved car and decided to take it out before it could take out his car.
It's a self preservation thing.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nim: To shreds, you say?
< leetspeak > LOL@NIM!!!1 < / leetspeak >
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
CNN just played a clip for Jeff this morning, the clip of the deer jumping over the hood of the sheriff's car.
Maybe we should pitch in and get him a dashboard camera for Christmas.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Or we pimp his ride, complete with big, 2-foot spikes on the fender and hubcaps, a mohawk haircut and a ring mail shirt. Oh, I guess some miniature crossbows on the roof too..
Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
If we're going to pimp his ride, we may want to have a barbeque spit coming out of his trunk so he can barbeque his kills and enjoy "the meat of his labour".
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Stick on a Bumper-Dumper, and he'll never need to leave his car, ever.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Give me those shotgun-out-of-the-hood things from "Die Another Day", and I'll be set for deer AND other drivers!
Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :
You can try a Deer whistle on the front of the car. My buddy asures me they work. Two deer came running when they heard the whistle, he managed to hit them both. Two without the whistle and two with. Needs one more to become an Ace.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
It'll be easier if he links his lasers to quad fire. Oh wait.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Well. Something about "tempting fate."
A deer ran out in front of me tonight. I slammed on my brakes and it crossed the road safely.
The second deer, however, -- the one I didn't see -- did not make it safely across the road (until some random stranger dragged its corpse into the brush and then jumped back into his car and started driving again).
I'm fine. My car is most certainly not.
I. Hate. Deer.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
But they're good on crackers...
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
I'm sure your insurance company loves them. Or hates them. Depends on your POV.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Snay, are you saying that in the course of this deer thread, you just offed another deer?
Can't we make this more efficient and install a counter on the frontpage? "XXXX deer got served" perhaps.
Posted by B.J. (Member # 858) on :
You need to go into business selling venison. How many does that make now?
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Over nine thousaaaaaaaaaaand!!
.....sorry.....
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
I'm suddenly getting this mental image of a Gary Larson/"The Far Side"-style cartoon, where there's a group of deer out in a clearing in the woods somewhere, all discussing a map, where they plan on how and where to ambush Snay's vehicle.
"...And after Larry sets his trap down on Paper Mill Road, then we'll have Bob and Joe launch their pincer down on the..."
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ritten: Atta boy Lee, verily I read that......
Jason, between the belt and fan blades they make a mess alright, although not a lot of cat noise....
Puts a new spin on a "purring engine" Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
...Lieutenant Andrew said, finishing his bag of pistacchio nuts with smug gusto next to the chalk outlined automobile, just after the forensics puke had said "Chief, you better take a look at this!" and just before his superior officer punched him out cold for deadpanning at a crime scene, otherwise punishable by ten lashes under the Criminal Investigator Stereotype Act.
Posted by Pensive's Wetness (Member # 1203) on :
As seen in the latest PA Times extra...
"Meanwhile in Pittsburg, the US branch of NERV began building the prototype of a new generation of EVA units: They would be all small, equivalent to Halfling sized versions of EVA's with Pink Hair, loud mouths and propensity to burp. They will be armed with the latest in ornate daggers, silver flutes (useful for blunt weapons since they hopefuuly wont bent) and round shields made from same steel used to make tuperwear from..."
that is, of course if i read this thread correctly. If i HAD NOT, then chalk it up to my usual actions of driving topic buses into oncoming traffic and carry on...
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Man, you are confusing the hell out of me lately.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Why do you encourage him?
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Because if I don't, the terrorists win.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Well, I spoke to the bodyshop today. Their estimate is $4200. Given the age of my car -- plus the mileage -- it seems unlikely that it won't be totalled.
Possible replacement vehicles:
VM Golf Jeep Compass Honda Civic/Fit Ford Focus Scion tC/tD Toyota Corolla M1A Bradley Fighting Vehicle
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
The M1 is an Abrams tank, comes standard with a 120 mm smooth bore gun and a flex fuel turbine, while the M2/M3 series of fighting vehicles, aka Bradleys, comes standard with a 25 MM gun and dual TOW missiles.
Your mileage will vary.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
Here'sa T-72 for sale in the UK.
Posted by Pensive's Wetness (Member # 1203) on :
quote:Originally posted by Daniel Butler: Because if I don't, the terrorists win.
there's another one floating around made in Quebec or France, 'Let it snow' plays as it's ending song as i recall (a really good cs SHORT film)
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Malformed URL.
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
quote:Originally posted by Malnurtured Snay: Well, I spoke to the bodyshop today. Their estimate is $4200. Given the age of my car -- plus the mileage -- it seems unlikely that it won't be totalled.
Possible replacement vehicles:
VM Golf Jeep Compass Honda Civic/Fit Ford Focus Scion tC/tD Toyota Corolla M1A Bradley Fighting Vehicle
The new Focus is pretty nice, I got the chance to drive one recently. The "ambient" lighting is kind of neat, and the high end models are actually pretty peppy. But I say go for the Bradley, if only to help with rush hour traffic.
Posted by Pensive's Wetness (Member # 1203) on :
Wait a minute? We're talking about cars?
can I get a recap so I know what's going on at glance (assuming hitting the Linked 1, 2 & 3 pages are cancer causing substances now)
i realllllllly thought this thread was a bizarro word-play, with Tanks.
I drive a Cobolt, which me lurvs. I also drove a G-5 which i also liked. I previously owned a '95 Escort but never liked the Focus bcause of the design of the rear window when viewed from the rear view window, that tear drop shape kills so much perseption and distance factoring...
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Well it started out with hitting deer with cars, then seemed to move on to solely cars.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Which begs the question, Mr. Butler, can cars have souls? Another question is, are there soul cars, like food and music?
Vroom-Vroom-Vroom.
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
I have a 95 Escort (GT)! And I drove a G5 for some time. The crappy base, automatic model. Test drove a manual, GT model and that was pretty sweet.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Well any cherry-red convertible with a beautiful brunette in it has my sole attention. *rimshot*
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ritten: Which begs the question, Mr. Butler, can cars have souls? Another question is, are there soul cars, like food and music?
Vroom-Vroom-Vroom.
Cars don't have souls, at least not the mass manufactured ones. Bikes on the other hand... Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Trains and bikes..... ok Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Also Segways. That's how they stay up, you know - none of this bollocks about gyros. They've got trapped alien souls in them that cause them to stand ramrod straight all day and for just $250 we'll clear your Segway of all its thetans so it'll fall over flat.
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Cripes, $250.00! I've seen it in the Shopper for half that.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
That'll be the Tesco brand thetan remover though. It'll just cause your Segway to wobble a bit.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
The insurance company today called me to tell me my car has been deemed a "total loss" (which is a fancy way of saying that the repair costs are equal or more than 75% the worth of the car). The exact dollar amount has yet to be determined, but it looks like I'm going car shopping tomorrow.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
How are you getting about in the meantime?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
My insurance provides for a rental: a Nissan Sentra. Hate. It.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
You only say that because it's probably not the GS-R.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
That and it's a huge monsterous automatic.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Call from the Ins. Co: $4200 for my Celica (less my deductible). That, AND, they'll only pay for my rental for two more days.
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
You might want to get looking quickly!
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
This previous spring, I lent my car to my roommate one day, as I'd done many a day, and he got rear-ended at a red light by some bubblegum-chewing rich daddy's girl in a sports car. Bent the chassis up pretty bad...totaled, as well, for $3,200USD; her insurance co. got me a rental for four days. Sexy Ford Fusion. But it was a pain in the ass to have to pay for the rental beyond that, and try to find a car for the kind of money I had - my parents took half the check because the car was still in their name. (Never mind that that was for insurance purposes...)
Anyway, my point is that rentals seem pretty cheap when you just look at the price per day, but boy it adds up quickly, so much with the hunting and the looking and the rapidity.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
I wasn�t going to buy a car today I wasn�t going to buy a car today I wasn�t going to buy a car today.
I test drove both a Corolla and a Matrix. There were some embarassing moments: I did, in fact, forget that when driving a stick shift, one has to press the clutch to turn the vehicle on. They both had a very tight turning radius, and the greater elevation off the road (as compared to the Celica) made for a smoother ride.
In the end, I preferred the Matrix. While the Corolla had a few more bells and whistles (the only one I really would�ve liked were the fog lights), a six-disc CD changer wasn�t enough to compensate for the far more comfortable driving position in the Matrix (I felt like I had to reach for the shift knob in the Corolla, which made me uncomfortable). In addition, I liked the greater size of the Matrix (it gets 26/33 mileage): now if those tailgaters ram me, I won�t be a pancaked Snay!
I still wasn�t ready to buy. My dad had offered to cosign so that I could get a better rate, plus, I was on the fence as to whether or not to wait until my check from the insurance company arrived so that I could make a downpayment. Carmax Financing and Bank of America offered ridiculous rates, and I was ready to wait a couple of days, but I guess Toyota likes me.
After a quick call to my dad to confirm a.) that their interest rate was what I thought it was (which is to say �killer�), and b.), that even with his signature on the application, I wouldn�t get a better interest rate, I signed on the dotted line.
So, with an interest rate of 4.9% (four point something percent, anyway, I don�t have the paperwork right here at the desk), I drove off the lot in a 2008 Toyota Matrix. It�s �indigo ink�, which is a fancy way of saying �navy blue.� It doesn�t have all the goodies, but it has its fair share: cruise control, power windows, remote entry, a panic button! Best of all is the �Anti-Deer Avoidance System� at the wheel (aka: me!*).
*One deer hit in five years, estimating a minimum of two deer avoidances per week (probably higher) gives us a failure rate of 1:520.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
LULZ ricermobile.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
No more so than my Celica.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
I'm sure I'm gonna get slammed and flamed but - they still make stick shifts? Really? Huh..
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
God, who seriously buys new cars? You lose a couple of thousand quid just driving it off the forecourt. And, 2008 model? it's still 2007! That just says it all.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Lee --
The difference in price from the used Matrix on the lot was about two hundred bucks. Also, the 2009s apparently hit the market in a couple of months, so it makes more sense to buy an 08 in the last few weeks of 07 than to buy an 09 when that year is still ten months away.
Anyway, you're just jealous.
Posted by MinutiaeMan (Member # 444) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lee: God, who seriously buys new cars? You lose a couple of thousand quid just driving it off the forecourt.
True, but most people get really shafted by lease agreements. They're so restrictive in terms of how many miles per year you get, and if the car's not in tip-top condition, that only adds to the amount you have to pay at the end of the lease.
Still, I agree with you. That's why I bought a one-year-old car when I made my purchase a couple years ago. It was still close enough to new, but I didn't have to deal with that depreciation issue.
Oh, and congratulations, Snay!
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Er, having just Googled "Toyota Matrix," I can safely and with all confidence say I'm not. Looks like a Vauxhall Astra. And that's not a good thing. Also, the availability of 2009 models in early 2008 is further evidence of how insane the whole idea is, and proves you're just a whore to the automotive industry. Your sole redeeming quality is the excellent choice of a manual transmission.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
I don't get why the next year's models are available so soon either. It makes sense that they'd be available a couple months before the year, but getting them out so soon just seems ridiculous. Pretty soon, you'll be able to buy a 2011 in 2009.
As I mentioned, the used car I looked at had a very close price to the new car I wound up buying. With the interest rate I was offered, I chose to go for the new car. It's my first! (New car, that is).
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
Vehicle model years run differently than a calendar year. The 2008 model year actually started in August/September or so. The 2009 model year will start in August/September of 2008. So if the 2009 Matrix is coming out in January, then its technically a 2008�, savvy?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Tell that to Toyota! =)
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Snay killed Dumbledore!
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Well, I mean, after he wanted me to come over and watch a movie.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Let's see what this Toyota Matrix looks like. We'll just pull up the Wikipedia, and...
You bought a station wagon?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
It's a hatchback.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
My wife has just acquired a Honda Jazz:
Not all that dissimilar to a Toyota Matrix:
And hers is even an automatic! I blame myself, really. Well, I have to - it's a car my grandmother bought just before my grandffather died, and she's now moved into a serviced/sheltered apartment and doesn't need it anymore. She was either going to give it to my mum or my cousin (whose car has just died) and the cousin was winning, so I thought I'd muddy the waters and stir a bit by suggesting we'd borrow it, and my gran or mum could have use of it when ever they needed it. But not my cousin, bwahahahahaah! It wasn't brand-new, though, it's a 55 ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_car_number_plates ).
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
Station wagons are all the rage nowadays... Hence the success of the Dodge Magnum. The market seems to be going towards large family cars again rather than SUVs/minivans. I tell you, if I had a fair-sized family I'd rather drive a station wagon than a minivan.
Posted by B.J. (Member # 858) on :
^I dare you to say that again once you *do* have a fair-sized family. A station wagon would be fine for trips around town, but any long drives and you'll wish you had a minivan. Not only do kids usually have a lot of stuff they need to bring (especially babies), but it's a lot easier to separate them in a minivan when they're fighting. We recently traded in our '94 Pathfinder for an '04 Odyssey. Up until then, my wife was adamant about never wanting to own a minivan, but now I don't think she'll ever want to go back.
And, "Station wagons are all the rage nowadays"? I haven't noticed many at all myself. Maybe it's popular in your area, but definitely not mine.
Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
Cruiser-class forever.
Ugh, the chippie I'm all interested in drives a fucking Xterra. I'm gonna have t'learn how to be a transport captain. How annoying.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
If the Jazz is what I think it is, here it's called the "Honda Fit."
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
Yeah, actually, that is a Fit.
And I don't have any family at all, BJ, which is why I have a hatchback.
The Dodge Magnum is rather popular 'round these parts. If there were equivalents from other marques, I'm sure I'd be seeing those as well. But a lot of Chargers, 300s, Impalas, Five Hundred/Taurus, etc etc.
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
Same, although it seems 1/2 ton and larger trucks are very popular around here too. Mostly because it's damn near impossible to get anywhere without a 4x4 in the winter.
Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
Yes, I noticed that when I was in Alberta last winter. Even the RCMP drive trucks, heh.
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
Yep, those old Crown Vics get stuck pretty bad here in the winter. They're smart not to take anything less than a full size truck with 4x4 down some of the roads around here. I just with I had one too
I find it hard to believe that, even after living in Saskatchewan for 20 odd years, the roads are still a surprise for me during the winter. I damn near rear ended some poor old lady in a Jetta yesterday. I was coming up on a four lane intersection and when I hit the brakes my truck just started sliding. I braked early but I knew I was in trouble. I saw the back bumper of the Jetta coming up fast and I started panicking, I aimed for the spot between the Jetta and the 1/2 ton in the other lane and I missed them both with about a hand span on either side of my fenders. I swear I peed a little then but neither of the other drivers even noticed that they missed getting plowed by mere inches. Next time I'll take my chances with the four foot high snowbank...
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Snow has surprised me before with its hardness. My brother plowed into a snowbank in our shared car when we were both still in highschool, and actually dented the door from the impact.
Posted by B.J. (Member # 858) on :
I'm glad I don't have to deal with that anymore! If it snows around here, people just take the day off, and go back to work/school the next day after it's melted. Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
Sounds like when I lived in Texas. If there was a dusting that didn't stick to the roads, everything closed because people panicked and didn't want to drive in it. (Of course on the rare mid-January early mornings when there was a bit of ice on the ground frozen the night before when the weather dipped its toes into the freezing point, there were a lot of accidents - people weren't taught how to drive on ice when they were earning their license. So maybe they were right to panic ;P)
Posted by Da_bang80 (Member # 528) on :
Well, for me, most of the time it's fun to drive on the ice. Getting going is a bitch, stopping is double bitchy, but you know, doing a powerslide around that corner or doing a 360 spin over in that parking lot. It's like a winter wonderland. Everything else sucks though. I hate winter.
Posted by Daniel Butler (Member # 1689) on :
We used to do that in high school. We had an open campus, so when people left for lunch, there'd be a whole line of cars purposely fishtailing down the main road.
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Well, the check from the insurance company finally came yesterday. It's in the bank today. While I could've used the check and written a giant check on the car loan, I decided instead to replenish my depleted savings account. Now all I'm waiting on is the refund check from the State o' Maryland for the year-and-a-half left on the Celica's registration, and I'll be all set!
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