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Extra-Terrestrials DO exsist.
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Siegfried: [QB] Extra-terrestials do exist. I am one of them. Now, let me set a few things straight. First, Alien Autopsy was a hoax. We do not look that. Nor do we look like the aliens in Alien, Independence Day, Babylon 5, The Last Starfighter, or the Teletubbies. We look like the Care Bears, actually. Second, yes, we are to blame for the crop circles. Well, the first ones. We have an extensive drivers' education seminar for flying our ships. Part of that involves unsupervised flight. Well, you know how it is when you have a teen pilot with his buddies and no parental supervision around. Out comes the booze, the drugs, and the opera. Next thing you know, the kids are whizzing out the window while buzzing the wheat fields. Third, we have scientifically proven that there is a omnipotent entity known as God. He's having a mid-eon crisis right now, so he's been neglecting his newer planets and creations. Wanna know who he looks like? He looks a lot like Arthur C. Clarke. And he prefers to be called by his proper name: Zeke. Fourth, our space ships are not "flying saucers." Remember the TNG episode Descent? The renegade Borg ship is closer to what our capital ships look like. But we don't power them with "quantum singularities" or "matter-antimatter annihilation." Our scientists found them to be too dangerous. Instead, we about one-hundred forty-seven hamsters running on a giant wheel. They get great gas mileage. Fifth, yes, Hiliary Clinton, Cher, and George W. Bush are robots. Yes, they are our fault. Remember the aforementioned teenaged kids? That's what a 10th grade cybernetics class turns into when there's a substitute teacher. Other things that we'll take the blame for: Starbucks, Celine Dion, Britney Spears, 'NSync, Star Wars, Jeri Ryan, Omega, the last season of Night Court, David Hasselhoff, CHiPs, Chicago Hope, JeffKardde, the WWF and XFL, Must See TV Thursdays, and the North American continent. Sixth, there are many things that are not our fault. These include: McDonald's, Barbra Streisand, Christina Aguilera, Backstreet Boys, Babylon 5, Jessica Alba, First of Two, the other seasons of Night Court, Ricky Martin, COPS, Americanized British TV shows, TSN, Major League Baseball, anything on CBS, and the European continent. Seventh, and finally, you are all wrong about anal probes. We have high-tech sensors and scanners that not require penetrating the body in order to collect data. To be honest, we only do anal probes because we're bored on our scientific expeditions. Besides, one in ten of our abductees doesn't really seem to mind the anal probes. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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