Flare Sci-Fi Forums: My Religious Faith

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Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

I would like to take a moment to express my religious faith.

I do not believe in the Christian God. Which should be bloody obvious to anyone who has read any of my posts in just about any religious thread here. But, again, I digress.

My God is named "JEEP."

Currently, my God has no top or doors. And the right fender is banged in, but that's another discussion altogether.

I do not pray to my God. That would be silly -- who prays to a Jeep, for fictional-deity's sake?

I instead make sacrifices. Today, I sacrificed $120 on an engine flush, and $16 on a full tank of gas.

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
***
"I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.

Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :

I believe in a similar religion compare to yours.

but my idol is actually Integra Type-R though.

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What is the difference between a terriorist and your girlfriend?
- With terrorist, there is a chance of negotiation.

Posted by DT (Member # 80) on :

My satan is a 1994 Buick Skylark which today blew some sort of belt and cost me a hell of a lot of money.

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"A mass of tears have been transformed to stones now, sharpened on suffering and woven into slings"
Zack de la Rocha
Rage Against the Machine

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

You should see the "Holy Trinity" of shrines in my room. One is devoted to Babylon-5, one is devoted to Harry Potter and the last one, yup, you guessed it - GUNDAM WING.

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In this crazy world of lemons, baby...you're lemonade!

Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :

Yo, BW, I've been wanting to ask u this for a long time.

Who would won in a battle, a Gundam, or a VF Thunderbolt from Macross?

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What is the difference between a terriorist and your girlfriend?
- With terrorist, there is a chance of negotiation.

Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :

A crack team of Ministry of Magic snipers on Firebolt 5000s would kick both their asses...

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"I can be creative when I have a good idea. That just happens way too rarely."
-Omega, April 6

Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :

I have a similar religion. PAJERO! A tough, reliable piece of offroad machinery.

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Re: Russia in WWII

"Hey, we butchered Poles! Thats OK."
- DT.

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

Tom's right. All you need to do is apparate a really huge dragon, and well...game over. *L*

I forgot to mention that we have a Buddhist shrine in my house.

None of us here practice, really. I used to but...*shrugs*

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In this crazy world of lemons, baby...you're lemonade!

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

Blue Electron: Integra Type R, you're so lucky, that's one of the coolest cars ever, and also what I'm probably gonna get in a year or so.

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :

If there was a God out there, he'd take the form of the Hummer H2.

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"Cry havoc and let's slip the dogs of Evil"

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

Ferrari 360 Modena, nuff said.

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

You all have very small penises.

And Jetfire would win.

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You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
-Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park

Posted by Doctor Jonas (Member # 481) on :

"I have a similar religion. PAJERO! A tough, reliable piece of offroad machinery."

Isn't it funny that 'pajero' in Argentina (where I live) means 'wanker'?

Sorry Daryus, but I just had to say it.

[This message has been edited by Dr. Jonas Bashir (edited May 02, 2001).]

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Ford Penis. For great self!

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Don't kill me, I'm charming!

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Is Jonas our first South American Forumite?

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Posted by MC Infinity (Member # 531) on :

quote:
"I have a similar religion. PAJERO! A tough, reliable piece of offroad machinery."
Isn't it funny that 'pajero' in Argentina (where I live) means 'wanker'?

Strangely I always thought it meant bird, oh well

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

-Nimrod 16/4/2001

Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :

Yeah, I knew that. A mate went to south america for awhile and when he returned he told me this. Wasn't amused...at first. Perhaps I'll rename mine 'The LLama".

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Re: Russia in WWII

"Hey, we butchered Poles! Thats OK."
- DT.

Posted by Doctor Jonas (Member # 481) on :

infinity, it may be a kind of bird as well. These expressions vary from country to country, and it's really possible that we're dealing with the Mexican version of the world.

And Daryus, don't worry. Unless you come here (or go to Uruguay) with your machine, they won't say anything to you. I think. Well, I'm just not sure.

Darn, you'd believe they would make some research before putting such a name on a vehicle...

[This message has been edited by Dr. Jonas Bashir (edited May 04, 2001).]

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

This past Monday i became a convert to Taurusism.

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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Ah, you're a Fordite, then?

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
***
Card-Carrying Member of the Flare APAO
***
"I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.

Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :

All hail Ford!

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"Of course I'm paranoid! Everyone's trying to kill me."
- Weyoun, "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River"

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Found On Road Dead

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
***
Card-Carrying Member of the Flare APAO
***
"I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

But only after running faithfully for twenty years.

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"How do you define fool?"
"I don't attempt it. I wait for demonstrations. They inevitably surpass my imagination."
- CJ Cherryh, Invader

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

I drive a Honda myself... but I dont credit her to be ANY type of God. If anything, she's driven by Satan, seeing that she constantly gets me hurt, costs me money, puts me in danger, or tempts me to do things I shouldn't. Her name is Christine... after the third accident in 6 months I started calling her that. Then after she was stolen, and came back to me NOT completely stripped, I knew the name to be true.

Now she just sits in my driveway, quietly waiting, always plotting.... it's hard to say what she'll do next, but she's planning.... always planning.............

~LOA

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"Apprently, "pooty" involves deities and pretty girls in compromising positions..." ~TSN Jan. 18th, 2001

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

I don't know about gods, but one of my friends loves her car (which is in Wisconsin right now). She swears that if it were a man, she'd marry it.

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"I was as dead as a lesbian black chick at a republican fundraiser."
--Burns Flipper, The Longest Journey

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Liz: Your car is driven by Satan? Doesn't that make you Satan? *L*

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Lister: "Cat, what are you doing?"
Cat: "I'm courting."
Lister: "Courting who?"
Cat: "Whoever shows up!"
-Red Dwarf, "Me�"

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

On a quiet day in the country, you can hear a Ford rusting.

------------------
Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
***
Card-Carrying Member of the Flare APAO
***
"I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.

Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :

BAHAHAHA

Ford rusting....that's a good one!!

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What is the difference between a terriorist and your girlfriend?
- With terrorist, there is a chance of negotiation.

Posted by Teelie (Member # 280) on :

I thought Pajero meant something crude in another language but I wasn't sure til now. Just imagine though, you can now drive around in the "wankermobile" Daryus.

And I thought it was always Dodge that did the rusting? At least it was in Married With Children...
�

[This message has been edited by TLE (edited May 09, 2001).]