The government would have plenty to say about this topic if they weren't so damn secretive.------------------
"I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or am about to lie, or have just finished lying, but NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"--Homer Simpson.
*runs into door*
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"How do you define fool?"
"I don't attempt it. I wait for demonstrations. They inevitably surpass my imagination."
- CJ Cherryh, Invader
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What is the difference between a terriorist and your girlfriend?
- With terrorist, there is a chance of negotiation.
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"I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or am about to lie, or have just finished lying, but NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"--Homer Simpson.
First, Alien Autopsy was a hoax. We do not look that. Nor do we look like the aliens in Alien, Independence Day, Babylon 5, The Last Starfighter, or the Teletubbies. We look like the Care Bears, actually.
Second, yes, we are to blame for the crop circles. Well, the first ones. We have an extensive drivers' education seminar for flying our ships. Part of that involves unsupervised flight. Well, you know how it is when you have a teen pilot with his buddies and no parental supervision around. Out comes the booze, the drugs, and the opera. Next thing you know, the kids are whizzing out the window while buzzing the wheat fields.
Third, we have scientifically proven that there is a omnipotent entity known as God. He's having a mid-eon crisis right now, so he's been neglecting his newer planets and creations. Wanna know who he looks like? He looks a lot like Arthur C. Clarke. And he prefers to be called by his proper name: Zeke.
Fourth, our space ships are not "flying saucers." Remember the TNG episode Descent? The renegade Borg ship is closer to what our capital ships look like. But we don't power them with "quantum singularities" or "matter-antimatter annihilation." Our scientists found them to be too dangerous. Instead, we about one-hundred forty-seven hamsters running on a giant wheel. They get great gas mileage.
Fifth, yes, Hiliary Clinton, Cher, and George W. Bush are robots. Yes, they are our fault. Remember the aforementioned teenaged kids? That's what a 10th grade cybernetics class turns into when there's a substitute teacher. Other things that we'll take the blame for: Starbucks, Celine Dion, Britney Spears, 'NSync, Star Wars, Jeri Ryan, Omega, the last season of Night Court, David Hasselhoff, CHiPs, Chicago Hope, JeffKardde, the WWF and XFL, Must See TV Thursdays, and the North American continent.
Sixth, there are many things that are not our fault. These include: McDonald's, Barbra Streisand, Christina Aguilera, Backstreet Boys, Babylon 5, Jessica Alba, First of Two, the other seasons of Night Court, Ricky Martin, COPS, Americanized British TV shows, TSN, Major League Baseball, anything on CBS, and the European continent.
Seventh, and finally, you are all wrong about anal probes. We have high-tech sensors and scanners that not require penetrating the body in order to collect data. To be honest, we only do anal probes because we're bored on our scientific expeditions. Besides, one in ten of our abductees doesn't really seem to mind the anal probes.
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God (using a Devil hand puppet): Yaagh! I'm the Devil! I'm evil! I'm spooky! I'm dark! And I'm evil! Gimme an "E!" Gimme a "V!" Gimme a "U!" Gimme an "L!" What's that spell? Evil! Goooo EVIL!
Devil: Hey, yo, that shit ain't funny!
--from Tatsuya Ishida's Sinfest
Founder, president, CEO, CFO, COO, under-secretary general, mascot, and caterer of the APAO
Are they here? Almost certainly not.
Would they eat us? Most likely incompatible biochemistry. We'd be poison.
Would they want our women?
Only the ones who smelled like aliens. Procreation is out of the question.
Would they help us?
They'd probably think we were hilarious. Or dangerous. Or both. Most likely they'd find the sky-godders too primitive to be trusted with advanced technology.
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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
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"Synthetic scotch, synthetic Commanders...."
-Scotty
Sixth, there are many things that are not our fault. These include: McDonald's, Barbra Streisand, Christina Aguilera, Backstreet Boys, Babylon 5, Jessica Alba, First of Two, the other seasons of Night Court, Ricky Martin, COPS, Americanized British TV shows, TSN, Major League Baseball, anything on CBS, and the European continent.
I am also an alien living on Earth. I know this because my classmates thought that I was not from this planet since I was worse than a geek. As well, my girlfriend has this strange sense that she's dating an alien. And she's right!!!!!
I am now here to take over the earth and bring its minions under my control. And even the dictatorship of First of Two will not be able to stop me!!!!!
First order of business, I will enslave all humans and force them to build a cannon to destroy a distant planet. And no excuses even if you voted for Kodos.
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"Intelligence People. You guys are unbelievable. You dump a mess like this (that you created) on my lap, and then you come to me whining 'Where is our funding'? Well I'll tell you where your funding is. Can you say Health-Care?"
- The President of the United States of America, The Long Kiss Goodnight
[This message has been edited by Tahna Los (edited May 26, 2001).]
On a more serious note, I'd just like to say that all the videos, photos, and other evience can't ALL be one gigantic hoax. Albiet most of it is. The government would have plenty to say about this topic if they weren't so damn secretive.
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"I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or am about to lie, or have just finished lying, but NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"--Homer Simpson.
When camping one summer evening, I came upon a group of people mesmerized by a "UFO." It was hovering and swooping from side to side, and occasionally giving off brilliant flashes of light.
I recall clearly one man in the group saying 'no airplane could move like that' and the others immediately agreeing with him. Some folks even held camcorders on it.
Well, I waited and watched for a while, and then declared that the guy was half right. It was no airplane.
What it was was a search helicopter. I'd seen it flying over while I was driving on my way to the campsite 20 minutes earlier, which they handn't.
People WANT to believe, so they see what they want to see.
The "visitations" are uncannily similar to 'fairy' visitations from medieval times, and are the result of a phenomenon called 'night terrors' In which the victim wakes up, unable to move, speak, and sometimes see, and often with the certainty that they are in danger and someone is watching them. The mindthen creats the fantasy of the 'abduction' to cope with this feeling. More likely it's ancient reflexes from when people had to always be on guard at night for cave bears and dire wolves.
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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
I'm sure our ancestors never got anal probes from wolves, cave bears and the like....
Lol
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"Synthetic scotch, synthetic Commanders...."
-Scotty
http://www.trekmania.net
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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted)
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"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
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Card-Carrying Member of the Flare APAO
***
"I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.
Actually, there's not a single reliably documented case of this having occured.
Most of the scars found are from old chicken pox, or small cuts that were made and forgotten. I myself have several small scars that I can't recall where they came from. None of these people has ever woken up while bleeding (except the people who wake up with nosebleeds.. but I've done that, too.)
The'implants' turn out to be tiny bits of rock, metal, or glass that were most likely embedded under the skin during childhood accidents, or even later as adults. (Except by the occasional nutball who does it to himself to gain attention, and the hoaxers.) My brother still occasionally recovers bits of gravel from his elbow from a bike crash that happened 15 years ago. But the implants are ALL of terrestrial origin.
Nowadays, with virtually everyone haveing seen at least one 'alien abduction' movie and/or re-enactment, the image of the alien is firmly embedded within our subconscious, where our mind recalls it to fit the oddness of the night terror situation.
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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited May 26, 2001).]
quote:
Third, we have scientifically proven that there is a omnipotent entity known as God. He's having a mid-eon crisis right now, so he's been neglecting his newer planets and creations. Wanna know who he looks like? He looks a lot like Arthur C. Clarke. And he prefers to be called by his proper name: Zeke.
Nooooo!!! My secret identity is revealed... Well, now that you know, what are you gonna do about it? I know I haven't been doing my job, and things like religion and republicans have been wreaking havoc on this world, but I'm willing to save this planet and bring it out of the gutter. One thing though, you're gonna have to give up idiocy, that means all the judge shows, pop-bands and Jerry Springer- like shows (including Jerry Springer) are out.
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It never stops, when my mama ask me will I change
I tell her yeah, but it's clear I'll always be the same
Until the end of time
- Tupac Shakur, Untill the End of Time
I also saw a black disk shaped object in North Carolina once. My brother wasn't there for that sihting.
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"I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or am about to lie, or have just finished lying, but NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"--Homer Simpson.
Even Baloo was fooled by something like that once.
(Dig up that old post, willya?)
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The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
[This message has been edited by MIB (edited May 26, 2001).]
Aliens?
They MUST exist
The most likely haven't found us
They most likely are NOTHING like us
They most likely are not capable of communication with us (we can't even understand other species on our own PLANET!)
We most likely don't have any fruitful relationship.
Space war is ridiculous. Is way to difficult and way to clumsy and useless. Space is big enough for all, I think.
And anyway, we'll eventually create our own alien species (humans colonizing a far planet, no contact with home, evolving to unique species, etc.).
quote:
And anyway, we'll eventually create our own alien species (humans colonizing a far planet, no contact with home, evolving to unique species, etc.).
Ninety-something percent of sightings have been proven to be fakes. I.E., Projects Grudge, Sign, and Blue Book in the '50s & '60s found this out. Of course, if you believe in the government conspiracies, these studies were rigged because they already had a craft that crashed at Roswell/Corona in '47, etc, etc, etc....
Most UFOs, IMO, are simply misunderstood objects, and the weirder ones are the results of odd military planes such as the Dark Star and Tacit Blue aircraft.
I knew there was something alien about Internet Explorer. Maybe it works fine on Mars. So let it stay there!
An example of this is a repoted sighting by Jesse Wilson in March 18, 1959. When he developed photographs he took of the moon he noticed that one of his photographs captured 34 bright objects arcing in a line formation away from the moon. Upon investigation, the government dismissed the sighting as nothing more than a static electrcal discharge in Wilson's camera, dispite the fact that that explanation was ruled out during the investigation. 
In a related note. I know what aircraft like Dark Star and Tacit Blue look like. Some of the pictures I've seen are definetly not them. Trust me. Tacit Blue paticularly looks so ugly I don't think I could ever forget what it looks like.
[ May 27, 2001: Message edited by: MIB ]
I realize the investigators made many mistakes, but a lot of the teams did the best they could. It was an understaffed and underfunded project, and some directors left because of this. Dr. J. Allen Hynek was picked to help Blue Book not because of his expertise, but because he was the closest astronomer, so yes it did suffer from short commings. This was mainly because of the Condon Committe's report that UFOs are mass hysteria or something (forgot exactly). If you'll note in my earlier post, I did NOT specifically say that aliens or whatever are not here. Just most sightings are fake and/or misunderstood. Some may be real, I do not know.
And there is a rather famous Iranian case of a UFO sighting with a picture, where the craft looks a lot like the Tacit Blue.
quote:
I have a few videos I downloaded that shows certian sightings. Would you like to see them?
I love these things. Sure.
I remember watching a "UFO" report some guy did a while back showing a UFO that was reported to be a 'true unknown.'
It was sort of blurry, and looked like a cylinder standing on one end and rotating back and forth on its long axis.
This guy was going on and on about how amazing it was, how it was far too non-aerodynamic to fly, and how it seemed to be hovering over a spot out over the ocean.
It took me all of a half-second to identify it by shape and motion alone.
It was the Budweiser beer-can-shaped hot air balloon. I've seen it at county fairs.
Human beings... are they gullible or just self-deluding?
How do I upload movies so you can see them????