So the producers of “The Real World” & “Jackass” have gotten together to film a movie, & now they’ve released it, & now we have “The Real Cancun.” For those not up with the hip movie scene, “The Real Cancun” follows the adventures of 16 college students ranging from 18 to (I believe) 24 as they endure a tiny hot-as-fuck Mexican island during Spring Break.
Or more to the point, the island endures THEM.
In this grand masterpiece of cinema, we see said “cast members” running the gamut in activities from drinking to sex to drinking to partying to drinking to wet T-shirt contests to drinking to smoking up to drinking.
Did I mention that there was drinking? Because there is.
These kids run around the island doing things that really no one should ever want to have captured for posterity on film—unless they’re a complete & utter retardotron. Reports have come out now that the cast was constantly fed free alcohol provided by the producers & film crew; that they were encouraged to “be at their naughtiest,” & that it was “all in good fun.” One 18-year-old was captured being coerced into his first alcoholic drink ever; this happens early on in the “plot” (wait, there’s a plot?) & he spends the rest of the time as blazed out on distilled grain products as the rest. The glorification of the “hookup” culture is continued through several graphic sex scenes, & the emphasis on being single-tracked (or in this case, double-tracked) of mind has all the subtlety of a bowling ball through the brainpan.
So why do it? Why be PROUD of it, as these kids are? I won’t go see this incredible performance of hedonistic largess because I have to live near it. Yet for that same reason I’m sure it’ll be a HUGE success in State College; after all, who doesn’t want to see beautiful people on a 12-foot-tall screen doing THE EXACT SAME THINGS YOU DO? Why, it’s like they’ve filmed YOU instead of the tanned blonde with D cups & the square-jawed muscled guy in bikini briefs! And think back to your youth…or, if you’re still young, think of the shit you do now. Do you really want someone to be able to pick up something at the video store in 20 years & show it to your kids? Porn is one thing—you can kind of excuse that. But this? It’s just dumb.
The very fact that this movie is being released, much less even MADE, is a seriously disturbing thought. The kids are being used for profit, & in this day of instant fame where everyone & their uncle wants to be A STAR!! it simply feeds off the flow of insanity. The masses are just getting dumber, & this doesn’t help. This thing? It’s gonna be on 98 different screens here, I bet…& I’m told I’ll have to wait like 3 months to see something good like “Bend It Like Beckham” around here.
Why? What is the point & the draw?
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
Crap. Utter crap.
My question is why is it rated R?! Should be more like a Rated NC-17.
Movies like this make Voyager, Trek 5 and Insurection look damn good by compare! Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Oh, just you wait.
Give me five years or so.
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
I'd rather have the video of Styro's weekend just past.
Posted by newark (Member # 888) on :
The film is not faring well and may be the last of its genre.
Posted by Veers (Member # 661) on :
The worst part is, there are many people out there who paid to see it, and liked it. Sad, truly sad. Will America ever learn?
Posted by The Mighty Monkey of Mim (Member # 646) on :
Shik, when I read your post, it was George Carlin's voice in my head reading it!
BTW, I agree wholeheartedly!
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Is there a film rating that signifies "if you watched this movie, you just got stupider"?
Posted by Cartmaniac (Member # 256) on :
No, but 99% of all Hollywood productions are in the running for one.
Posted by Phoenix (Member # 966) on :
quote:Originally posted by Styrofoaman: Crap. Utter crap.
My question is why is it rated R?! Should be more like a Rated NC-17.
Movies like this make Voyager, Trek 5 and Insurection look damn good by compare!
What's wrong with Voyager? Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
Honestly, guys, you can't pretend that you're surprised this would happen?
Sweden was among the first countries to get docusoaps, the survivor predecessor "Expedition: Robinson" being the most popular (and sadistic), we've had about ten national shows spawn from it too, as well as getting "Big Brother". We've endured this crap since '96, I hope the Box office flop of this new movie will give the producers a damn clue...
I so long for the day when this franchise will collapse under its own weight, the way they're doing it I think in btw 4-5 years they will have suckled the phenomenon dry. At least I hope so...
Posted by Cartmaniac (Member # 256) on :
Once the novelty wears off, people get tired of it. Says more about the public than the producers that "reality" TV has lasted this long.
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
This movie sounds like the British schlock we've seen on our TV's over the last few years. Shows like "The Villa" - basically a bunch of young dumb-fucks in a Villa in Majorca, Spain.
SUCH a bad show.
It's not as bad as that feral British show which basically has a group of nasty, feral-looking fat poms - walking around most naked on some beach/resort somewhere. It was like National Geographic meets Two Fat Ladies!
I didn't get what the purpose to the show was as I quickly turned it over.
Andrew
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
AndrewR: Really? Ours was called "Villa Medusa", in the med, the contestants gave eachother black or white trophy camels as "points" or "faults", based on good or bad deeds of the "defendant". So fucking penalistic.
And, get this, last week, when our buxom "Big Brother"-Linda got kicked out (famous here for having lots of live sex), she [i]"had to talk to counselors that were available from the TV-company". Wow, I'm so surprised.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
There have been several shows none of whose titles I can remember but that should have been called "Retarded, ignorant, rude, dumb pricks go binge drinking in Ibiza and pick up a variety of cheap tarts". A bit long, I know, but it does the job.
Posted by The_Tom (Member # 38) on :
Drinking! Sex! Ewwww!
Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
quote:Originally posted by First of Two: I'd rather have the video of Styro's weekend just past.
Send $19.95 plus $300 shipping to:
StyroPyro Studio 666 MenagATrois Lane Ripoff, Rhode Island, 1313 Or call 1-800-NOT-LIKELY Ext 69
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Gee, if crap like this is reserved for the movie theatres, what will MTV do for programing?
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Am I alone in wondering precisely what is Rob's obsession with Styro's sex life right now? You not getting any yourself, or something?
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
quote:Originally posted by Wraith: There have been several shows none of whose titles I can remember but that should have been called "Retarded, ignorant, rude, dumb pricks go binge drinking in Ibiza and pick up a variety of cheap tarts". A bit long, I know, but it does the job.
That's right - it was Ibiza.
Posted by Ultra Magnus (Member # 239) on :
I HAEV TO O BEEN WONDARING WHY ROB SI ALL "HAHA STYROAGUTY YUO AER DOING IT UP TEH BUTT!! SHOW ME TEH MONEY!!?"
I mean, yes.
Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :
"Am I alone in wondering precisely what is Rob's obsession with Styro's sex life right now? You not getting any yourself, or something?"
Don't you see it? He's trying to get invited, Duh! ;.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
*slaps forehead* Oh, silly me, of course. . .
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Now I have heard that someone is either trying to create, or is creating, a 'Reality' TV Channel, so you can get this crap 24 hours a day all year round.
Posted by Phoenix (Member # 966) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ritten: Now I have heard that someone is either trying to create, or is creating, a 'Reality' TV Channel, so you can get this crap 24 hours a day all year round.
Are you in the US? Because we (UK) already have one of those, called E4.
(OK it's not 24 hours, but it's pretty close)
Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :
Yep.
I do remember them mentioning that on the interview I heard.
Posted by Phoenix (Member # 966) on :
E4 plays the latest episodes of ER and Friends in the evening, but during the day (and at night I think) it has dreadful live coverage of whatever reality TV show is on at the moment. It is truly sickening.
If you get one, avoid it like the plague. Posted by Styrofoaman (Member # 706) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poet: Am I alone in wondering precisely what is Rob's obsession with Styro's sex life right now? You not getting any yourself, or something?
Everyone needs a hobby...
Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Liz is the hobby, Styro's just an accessory. As for OtherLiz... hmm...
No, I have no desire to participate. I'm just a voyeur.
My sex life is perfectly adequate. She's learning to be spontaneous, finally.
Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
VH1 now has a show that reviews all the "happenings" in reality show TV every week. Think Talk Soup but not talk shows. This show is as stupid as the reality shows.
When FOX creates "Who Wants To Die?", you better prepare, because the apocalypse is coming.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)