OK, now, no disrespect to the USA, right? I really quite liked the place when I went there. But I just read something from another Forum that is just plain appalling in terms of its cornball schmaltziness. . .
quote:I REMEMBER.... THIS 4 OF JULY AS YOU CELEBRATE YOUR 228 YEAR OF BEING�.. . . ONE NATION UNDER GOD. . . . � OF BEING FREE, MAY I JUST TAKE A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME TO SHARE A FEW PRECIOUS MEMORIES WITH YOU. OH. . .OH. . . I KNOW THAT YOU�RE YOUNG AND STRONG AND IMPETUOUS AND THAT YOU ARE VERY, VERY BUSY AND TH YOU DON�T HAVE TIME FOR SOME OLD ONE�S USELESS TALK BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, GIVE ME JUST A MOMENT. YOU SEE, I REMEMBER.... I REMEMBER MANY 4 OF JULY CELEBRATIONS. I REMEMBER MAIN STREET IN EVERY TOWN AND CITY. I REMEMBER PARADES AROUND THE COURTHOUSE SQUARE AND DOWN MAIN STREET; I REMEMBER MAJORETTES AND FLAGS; THE VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT, GLEAMING RED FIRE ENGINES AND FLAGS; COTTON CANDY, FERRIS WHEELS AND FLAGS; THE VFW AND FLAGS; FIRECRACKERS AND FLAGS! I REMEMBER� THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER� WITH EVERYONE�S HAND OVER THEIR HEART, MEN�S HATS COMING OFF, LUMPS IN EVERY THROAT, VETERAN�S EYES GLEAMING WITH TEARS OF EMOTION. I REMEMBER LOFTY SPEECHES FROM THE WHITE BANDSTAND IN THE SQUARE BY� WINDY� MAYORS AND LOCAL POLITICIANS, SONGS PLAYED BY THE HIGH SCHOOL BAND AND SUNG BY THE LOCAL CHURCH CHOIR AND EVERYBODY SINGING ALONG... . EVEN GRAMPS!!! I REMEMBER 4 OF JULY PICNIC BASKETS AND BLANKETS, COLD FRIED CHICKEN, LEMONADE AND �SWEET TEA� AND HOMEMADE APPLE PIE. I REMEMBER SACK RACES, WATERMELON, PONY RIDES, POPCORN AND CANDY APPLES, CANOES ON THE LAKE, BASEBALL GAMES AND MUSIC. ALWAYS MUSIC!! I REMEMBER� ROSIE THE RIVETER�, �THERE�LL BE BLUEBIRDS OVER THE WFHTE CLIFFS OF DOVER� AND � WHEN THE LIGHTS COME AGAIN�. I REMEMBER KATE SMITH AND GOD BLESS AMERICA� AND LEE GREENWOOD AND� GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.�. I REMEMBER JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, �HAIL TO THE CHIEF�, �RUFFLES AND FLOURISHES� AND � TAPS�. BUT, I�M WAUNDERING NOW. SORRY.... THAT COMES WITH AGE. I REMEMBER THEN, AS THE DAY BEGAN TO DRAW TO A CLOSE, JUST BEFORE SUNSET, THE CROWDS BEGIN TO MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE CEMETARY IN THE OLD CHURCH YARD; I REMEMBER WATCHING AS THOSE FAMILIES WHO HAD LOST A FATHER OR SON OR HUSBAND OR BROTHER OR SISTER SLOWLY, QUTETLY MADE THEIR WAY TO A FLAG DECORATED GRAVE AND PULLED EACH OTHER CLOSE AS TEARS FELL FOR THOSE WHO HAD PAID THE UNLIMATE PRICE FOR�. FREEDOM, WITH LIBERTY ANT) JUSTICE FOR ALL.�, WHILE THOSE OF US WHO�S BOYS HAD COME HOME STOOD SILENTLY IN EMBRACE AS WE WATCHED AND QUIETLY THANKED THE GOD OF OUR FATHER�S BECAUSE� MINE MADE IT; MINE CAME HOME.� I REMEMBER DARK DAYS AT LEXINGTON AND CONCORD, BUNKER HILL AND BREED�S HILL, FORT MC HENRY, NEW ORELEANS, VICKSBURG, ATLANTA AND GETTYSBURG, BULL RUN, ANTIETAM AND APPOMATTOX COURTHOUSE, SAN JUAN HILL, DIJNTURK AND VERDUN AND THE MARNE, PEARL HARBOR, NORMANDY AND D-DAY, IWO JIMA AND THE DEATH MARCH ON BATAAN, KOREA, DA NANG, DAK TO AND THE MEKONG DELTA, THE PERSIAN GULF, KABUL AFGAMSTAN AND YES, EVEN TODAY I WATCH THE STREETS OF BAGHDAD! !!! HOW, YOU ASK, DO I REMEMBER EACH OF THESE AND SO MANY, MANY OTHERS? WHY, BECAUSE I WAS THERE. I REMEMBER WESTERN UNION GRAMS AND�... . WE REGRET TO Inform YOU. . . .� AND TEARS, ALWAYS TEARS; BUT, I ALSO REMEMBER V- E DAY AND V- J DAY AND BANNER HEADLINES AND HUGS AND KISSES IN TIME SQUARE, AND MOTHERS AND WIVES AND SWEETHEARTS HOLDING RETURNING SOLDIERS AND SAILORS AND MARINES AND AIRMEN CLOSE TO THEIR THANKFUL BREASTS AND TEARS OF JOY. I REMEMBER THAT THESE BRIEF MOMENTS OF REFLECTION WERE PAINFUL, TEARFUL BUT NEVER, NEVER FILLED WITH BITTERNESS AND CRITICISM; THEY WERE FILLED WITH PRIDE. I REMEMBER�.. . . HE SERVED PROUDLY. . . .� AND �....SHE DID WHAT SHE WAS CALLED TO DO.. . .� AND�.. . . HE WAS A GOOD SOLDIER. . . .� AND I REMEMBER THE TEARS, EVERY ONE OF THEM. BUT THEN, AS DARKNESS FELL, I REMEMBER THE TEARS WIPED AWAY AND THE CROWDS MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE LAKE SHORE OR THE FIREHOUSE OR THE HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD OR TO THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT, OR TO INDEPENDENCE HALL OR TO BOSTON HARBOR OR TO BATTERY PARK WITH ANTICIPATION AND EXCITEMENT BUTLDING WHILE PEOPLE WAITED FOR THE FIREWORKS TO START; RED, WHITE, BLUE, SILVER, GOLD AND GREEN ROCKETS BURSTING IN THE NIGHT SKY, REMINDING US ALL OF �OH SAY CAN YOU SEE, BY THE DAWN�S EARLY LIGHT. . . OH, I REMEMBER ALL OF THIS AND) SO VERY MUCH MORE. I�M SORRY.... WHAT�S THAT YOU SAY? WHO AM I AND HOW CAN I POSSIBLY REMEMBER SO MUCH, YOU ASK? WHY SIR, MA�AM, YOUNG PERSON, SENIOR CITIZEN, FRECKLE-FACED LITTLE BOY, PRECIOUS PONY-TAILED LITTLE GIRL I AM YOU, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. THAT�S RIGHT, I AM AMERICA, � . THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE.� �. . . . FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA... . � AND, UNTIL THE END OF RECORDED TIME AND HISTORY I WILL REMEMBER AND I WILL NEVER, NEVER FORGET!
Excuse the capitals, I considered using Word to change the case but that still left a lot of editing to do.
Now, maybe all that will have you Yanks among us bawling into their keyboards. But how can anyone stomach such nonsense? You could modify the particulars of the text to refer to any other country, but no-one would ever say it. And that's not (as someone's bound to suggest) because every other country in the world hasn't got anything to be proud of when compared to America, dammit, it's because it's a load of sentimental shite!
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Wow. You'd think, with 228 years of experience, America would at least know how the caps lock key works. And how to spell.
Incidentally, aren't the WFHTE CLIFFS OF DOVER in England?
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
quote:KABUL AFGAMSTAN
Where the fuck is "Afgamstan"?
... I mean, the FUCK?!
Posted by Ultra Klackrent Zlatan Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Whoever wrote this is a big shitball.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
It was read out by some priest during a service, apparently. As for the spelling, I'm not sure where that comes from - crap OCR from a scanner? Hastily scribbled & transcribed notes?
Remove all references to America and replace them with Kim-Il-Sung (or Kim-Jong-Il) and it would sound like typical North Korean propaganda. . .
Posted by Ultra Klackrent Zlatan Magnus (Member # 239) on :
This priest is a big shitball.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ultra Klackrent Zlatan Magnus: This priest is a big shitball.
You'd be suprised how many are.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
I kind of like its breathlessness, though.
"sweet tea"
Quotes because it was really peach schnapps.
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
hehe...it says "thankful breasts"...mmm, thankful breasts.
Posted by Nim the Fanciful (Member # 205) on :
I got to the "SWEETHEARTS HOLDING RETURNING SOLDIERS AND SAILORS AND MARINES AND AIRMEN CLOSE TO THEIR THANKFUL BREASTS", then I passed out from the beer and aceton.
Posted by Futurama Guy (Member # 968) on :
acetone?
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
If he's mixing beer and acetone, I might not be Flare's worst typist/ speller!
Go Nim!
Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :
Oh, you mean you found these ladies, eh? Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
quote:Originally posted by TSN: Incidentally, aren't the WFHTE CLIFFS OF DOVER in England?
Well, the White Cliffs are, which is almost the same thing. Also, last time I checked there weren't very many Americans at Dunkirk (or DIJNTURK) or Verdun. And only at the Second Battle of the Marne.
Also the whole thing is really just crap. Does anyone take this seriously?
Posted by Ultra Klackrent Zlatan Magnus (Member # 239) on :
I am totally Micah Wrighting it so I can bang me some self-esteemless American Patriot.
Posted by Ultra Klackrent Zlatan Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Dumb shits.
Posted by Tora Ziyal (Member # 53) on :
The white cliffs of Dover are in quotation marks (�THERE�LL BE BLUEBIRDS OVER THE WFHTE CLIFFS OF DOVER�) in reference to a song.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Yeah, but it's still our song. Get your own!
Posted by Tora Ziyal (Member # 53) on :
Hey, I was just pointing it out. I've never heard of the song.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Ever go near Ditchling while you were in Brighton? Vera Lynn, who sang the song during WWII, lives there.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Yeah, but, does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
I guess "Operation: Take One for the Country" is moderately better-sounding than, say, "Operation: Suck Off a Stranger for Freedom".
Posted by Pensive's Left testes for mayor... (Member # 1203) on :
quote:Originally posted by TSN: Yeah, but, does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
I guess "Operation: Take One for the Country" is moderately better-sounding than, say, "Operation: Suck Off a Stranger for Freedom".
well if you fucks are done fucking with that trash text (it was trash if only for the idiocy that typed it up, not it's intent . all of you can't say jack to that at least) here's some Man-Faye for you . i met this dude at Anime-Expo this weekend. he was as scary in person. good thing all the cuties balanced out the events...
Posted by Ultra Klackrent Zlatan Magnus (Member # 239) on :
Anime-Expo.
I don't need to say anything more.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
Yes, but did you even need to say that?
Posted by Ultra Klackrent Zlatan Magnus (Member # 239) on :
I think so.
Posted by Nim the Merciful (Member # 205) on :
Lee: "Ever go near Ditchling while you were in Brighton? Vera Lynn, who sang the song during WWII, lives there."
I can play "We'll meet again" on toothbrush.
Also, Johnny Cash's last cover of it is real good.
Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :
I was unaware that the toothbrush was a musical instrument.
Posted by Nim the Merciful (Member # 205) on :
Well welcome to the EU!
Posted by Tora Ziyal (Member # 53) on :
quote:Ever go near Ditchling while you were in Brighton? Vera Lynn, who sang the song during WWII, lives there.
No, but I did see the white cliffs.
Posted by Wraith (Member # 779) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nim the Merciful: Well welcome to the EU!
You did remember to fill out form 89765/987654-RETD "Application for registration as a toothbrush player" under EC directive 5464/99, didn't you? I'd hate to see you arrested for illicit toothbrush playing.
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I've never heard of the song.
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. i met this dude at Anime-Expo this weekend. he was as scary in person. good thing all the cuties balanced out the events...