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» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Community » The Flameboard » Putting the 'trite' into Patriotism (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Putting the 'trite' into Patriotism
Lee
I'm a spy now. Spies are cool.
Member # 393

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OK, now, no disrespect to the USA, right? I really quite liked the place when I went there. But I just read something from another Forum that is just plain appalling in terms of its cornball schmaltziness. . .

quote:
I REMEMBER....
THIS 4 OF JULY AS YOU CELEBRATE YOUR 228 YEAR OF BEING�.. . .
ONE NATION UNDER GOD. . . .
� OF BEING FREE, MAY I JUST TAKE A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME TO SHARE A FEW PRECIOUS MEMORIES WITH YOU.
OH. . .OH. . . I KNOW THAT YOU�RE YOUNG AND STRONG
AND IMPETUOUS AND THAT YOU ARE VERY, VERY BUSY AND
TH YOU DON�T HAVE TIME FOR SOME OLD ONE�S USELESS
TALK BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, GIVE ME JUST A MOMENT.
YOU SEE, I REMEMBER....
I REMEMBER MANY 4 OF JULY CELEBRATIONS. I
REMEMBER MAIN STREET IN EVERY TOWN AND CITY. I
REMEMBER PARADES AROUND THE COURTHOUSE SQUARE
AND DOWN MAIN STREET; I REMEMBER MAJORETTES AND
FLAGS; THE VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT, GLEAMING RED
FIRE ENGINES AND FLAGS; COTTON CANDY, FERRIS WHEELS
AND FLAGS; THE VFW AND FLAGS; FIRECRACKERS AND FLAGS!
I REMEMBER� THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER� WITH
EVERYONE�S HAND OVER THEIR HEART, MEN�S HATS COMING
OFF, LUMPS IN EVERY THROAT, VETERAN�S EYES GLEAMING
WITH TEARS OF EMOTION.
I REMEMBER LOFTY SPEECHES FROM THE WHITE
BANDSTAND IN THE SQUARE BY� WINDY� MAYORS AND
LOCAL POLITICIANS, SONGS PLAYED BY THE HIGH SCHOOL
BAND AND SUNG BY THE LOCAL CHURCH CHOIR AND
EVERYBODY SINGING ALONG... . EVEN GRAMPS!!!
I REMEMBER 4 OF JULY PICNIC BASKETS AND
BLANKETS, COLD FRIED CHICKEN, LEMONADE AND �SWEET
TEA� AND HOMEMADE APPLE PIE. I REMEMBER SACK RACES,
WATERMELON, PONY RIDES, POPCORN AND CANDY APPLES,
CANOES ON THE LAKE, BASEBALL GAMES AND MUSIC.
ALWAYS MUSIC!!
I REMEMBER� ROSIE THE RIVETER�, �THERE�LL BE
BLUEBIRDS OVER THE WFHTE CLIFFS OF DOVER� AND � WHEN
THE LIGHTS COME AGAIN�. I REMEMBER KATE SMITH AND
GOD BLESS AMERICA� AND LEE GREENWOOD AND� GOD BLESS
THE U.S.A.�. I REMEMBER JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, �HAIL TO THE
CHIEF�, �RUFFLES AND FLOURISHES� AND � TAPS�. BUT, I�M
WAUNDERING NOW. SORRY.... THAT COMES WITH AGE.
I REMEMBER THEN, AS THE DAY BEGAN TO DRAW TO A
CLOSE, JUST BEFORE SUNSET, THE CROWDS BEGIN TO MAKE
THEIR WAY TO THE CEMETARY IN THE OLD CHURCH YARD; I
REMEMBER WATCHING AS THOSE FAMILIES WHO HAD LOST A
FATHER OR SON OR HUSBAND OR BROTHER OR SISTER
SLOWLY, QUTETLY MADE THEIR WAY TO A FLAG DECORATED
GRAVE AND PULLED EACH OTHER CLOSE AS TEARS FELL FOR
THOSE WHO HAD PAID THE UNLIMATE PRICE FOR�.
FREEDOM, WITH LIBERTY ANT) JUSTICE FOR ALL.�, WHILE
THOSE OF US WHO�S BOYS HAD COME HOME STOOD SILENTLY
IN EMBRACE AS WE WATCHED AND QUIETLY THANKED THE
GOD OF OUR FATHER�S BECAUSE� MINE MADE IT; MINE CAME
HOME.�
I REMEMBER DARK DAYS AT LEXINGTON AND
CONCORD, BUNKER HILL AND BREED�S HILL, FORT MC HENRY,
NEW ORELEANS, VICKSBURG, ATLANTA AND GETTYSBURG,
BULL RUN, ANTIETAM AND APPOMATTOX COURTHOUSE, SAN
JUAN HILL, DIJNTURK AND VERDUN AND THE MARNE, PEARL
HARBOR, NORMANDY AND D-DAY, IWO JIMA AND THE DEATH
MARCH ON BATAAN, KOREA, DA NANG, DAK TO AND THE
MEKONG DELTA, THE PERSIAN GULF, KABUL AFGAMSTAN AND
YES, EVEN TODAY I WATCH THE STREETS OF BAGHDAD! !!!
HOW, YOU ASK, DO I REMEMBER EACH OF THESE AND SO
MANY, MANY OTHERS? WHY, BECAUSE I WAS THERE. I
REMEMBER WESTERN UNION GRAMS AND�... . WE REGRET TO
Inform YOU. . . .� AND TEARS, ALWAYS TEARS; BUT, I ALSO
REMEMBER V- E DAY AND V- J DAY AND BANNER HEADLINES
AND HUGS AND KISSES IN TIME SQUARE, AND MOTHERS AND
WIVES AND SWEETHEARTS HOLDING RETURNING SOLDIERS
AND SAILORS AND MARINES AND AIRMEN CLOSE TO THEIR
THANKFUL BREASTS AND TEARS OF JOY.
I REMEMBER THAT THESE BRIEF MOMENTS OF
REFLECTION WERE PAINFUL, TEARFUL BUT NEVER, NEVER
FILLED WITH BITTERNESS AND CRITICISM; THEY WERE FILLED
WITH PRIDE. I REMEMBER�.. . . HE SERVED PROUDLY. . . .� AND
�....SHE DID WHAT SHE WAS CALLED TO DO.. . .� AND�.. . . HE
WAS A GOOD SOLDIER. . . .� AND I REMEMBER THE TEARS,
EVERY ONE OF THEM.
BUT THEN, AS DARKNESS FELL, I REMEMBER THE TEARS
WIPED AWAY AND THE CROWDS MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE LAKE SHORE OR THE FIREHOUSE OR THE HIGH SCHOOL
FOOTBALL FIELD OR TO THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT, OR TO
INDEPENDENCE HALL OR TO BOSTON HARBOR OR TO BATTERY
PARK WITH ANTICIPATION AND EXCITEMENT BUTLDING WHILE
PEOPLE WAITED FOR THE FIREWORKS TO START; RED, WHITE,
BLUE, SILVER, GOLD AND GREEN ROCKETS BURSTING IN THE
NIGHT SKY, REMINDING US ALL OF �OH SAY CAN YOU SEE,
BY THE DAWN�S EARLY LIGHT. . .
OH, I REMEMBER ALL OF THIS AND) SO VERY MUCH MORE.
I�M SORRY.... WHAT�S THAT YOU SAY? WHO AM I AND HOW
CAN I POSSIBLY REMEMBER SO MUCH, YOU ASK? WHY SIR,
MA�AM, YOUNG PERSON, SENIOR CITIZEN, FRECKLE-FACED
LITTLE BOY, PRECIOUS PONY-TAILED LITTLE GIRL I AM YOU,
EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. THAT�S RIGHT, I AM AMERICA,
� . THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE.� �. . . .
FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA... .
� AND, UNTIL THE END OF RECORDED TIME AND HISTORY I WILL REMEMBER AND I WILL NEVER, NEVER FORGET!

Excuse the capitals, I considered using Word to change the case but that still left a lot of editing to do.

Now, maybe all that will have you Yanks among us bawling into their keyboards. But how can anyone stomach such nonsense? You could modify the particulars of the text to refer to any other country, but no-one would ever say it. And that's not (as someone's bound to suggest) because every other country in the world hasn't got anything to be proud of when compared to America, dammit, it's because it's a load of sentimental shite!

--------------------
Never mind the Phlox - Here's the Phase Pistols

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TSN
I'm... from Earth.
Member # 31

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Wow. You'd think, with 228 years of experience, America would at least know how the caps lock key works. And how to spell.

Incidentally, aren't the WFHTE CLIFFS OF DOVER in England?

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Malnurtured Snay
Blogger
Member # 411

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quote:
KABUL AFGAMSTAN
Where the fuck is "Afgamstan"?

... I mean, the FUCK?!

--------------------
www.malnurturedsnay.net

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Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
astronauts gotta get paid
Member # 239

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Whoever wrote this is a big shitball.
Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Lee
I'm a spy now. Spies are cool.
Member # 393

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It was read out by some priest during a service, apparently. As for the spelling, I'm not sure where that comes from - crap OCR from a scanner? Hastily scribbled & transcribed notes?

Remove all references to America and replace them with Kim-Il-Sung (or Kim-Jong-Il) and it would sound like typical North Korean propaganda. . .

--------------------
Never mind the Phlox - Here's the Phase Pistols

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Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
astronauts gotta get paid
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This priest is a big shitball.
Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

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quote:
Originally posted by Ultra Klackrent Zlatan Magnus:
This priest is a big shitball.

You'd be suprised how many are.

--------------------
Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

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Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

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I kind of like its breathlessness, though.

"sweet tea"

Quotes because it was really peach schnapps.

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Gvsualan
Perpetual Member
Member # 968

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hehe...it says "thankful breasts"...mmm, thankful breasts.

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Hey, it only took 13 years for me to figure out my password...

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Nim
The Aardvark asked for a dagger
Member # 205

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I got to the "SWEETHEARTS HOLDING RETURNING SOLDIERS AND SAILORS AND MARINES AND AIRMEN CLOSE TO THEIR THANKFUL BREASTS", then I passed out from the beer and aceton.
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Gvsualan
Perpetual Member
Member # 968

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acetone?

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Hey, it only took 13 years for me to figure out my password...

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Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

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If he's mixing beer and acetone, I might not be Flare's worst typist/ speller!

Go Nim!

--------------------
Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

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Malnurtured Snay
Blogger
Member # 411

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Oh, you mean you found these ladies, eh? [Smile]

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www.malnurturedsnay.net

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Wraith
Zen Riot Activist
Member # 779

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quote:
Originally posted by TSN:

Incidentally, aren't the WFHTE CLIFFS OF DOVER in England?

Well, the White Cliffs are, which is almost the same thing. Also, last time I checked there weren't very many Americans at Dunkirk (or DIJNTURK) or Verdun. And only at the Second Battle of the Marne.

Also the whole thing is really just crap. Does anyone take this seriously?

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Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
astronauts gotta get paid
Member # 239

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I am totally Micah Wrighting it so I can bang me some self-esteemless American Patriot.
Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
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