Flare Sci-Fi Forums: GuestCom 11: Plain and Simple (1)

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Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Ah, yes. Here I am. Yes, the eleventh GuestComs! They're the Plain and Simple, edition, I must add.

Alas, no DS9 images, but I've added some nice Innuendo Awards, so I suggest you try to go into the gutter. Or else.

Five lovely images here this week. And down the runway they come...

This image comes to us all the way from Alidar Jarok's Star Trek Image Library. Wave to it, folks!

This one scares me; it really does...

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Kirk: And Spock's bum was THIS big in that...

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"In my defence that bush is actually quite big"
-M the F

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Kirk: I'm flying Jack! I'm flying!

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Kirk: Time? This is no time to worry about time! We don't have the time!

Picard: And we *do* have the time to watch your impression of an Orion slave girl?

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Garak: Interesting. You saved the day by destroying the world.
Bashir: I bet they didn't teach you that in the Obsidian Order.

-Deep Space Nine, "Our Man Bashir."

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Kirk: Could you scratch the middle of my back?

Picard: No.

Kirk: Oh please, just this once.

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That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
~Homer Simpson

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Kirk: Dilweed!

Picard: *Karate chop to the neck* Never call me that!!!

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That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
~Homer Simpson

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

The Federation Food Network canceled the new cooking show "Cooking With Kirk and Picard" after one week. As one can see, all Picard did was stand behind Kirk and mutter to himself about the Borg while all Kirk did was mug for the camera.

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That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
~Homer Simpson

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Picard: I need your help to save the galaxy.

Kirk: I was saving the Galaxy back when your grandpa was in diapers...

Picard: So? Please?!

Kirk: Now I'm the one wearing diapers...but the point is I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time...

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by Deep6 on :

Picard: Captain, I need your help to save a planet.

Kirk: Ok, but you have to let me make out with every member of your crew once were finished.

Picard: Oh, certainly.

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"So where are the nuggets on a chicken anyway?"

Posted by Jedi Weyoun (Member # 110) on :

Kirk: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, MACARENA!!

Picard: Mon Dieu.......

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"Fear attracts the fearful"
([[[[[[*]}��

Posted by Sunspot (Member # 77) on :

Kirk: "You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around......"

Picard: *frightened*

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"You were right about the negotiations...they were short."
Obi-Wan Kenobi to QuiGon Jinn, The Phantom Menace

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Picard: I'm sorry, Kirk, but I'm not that kind of man...

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"We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

*Picard and Kirk finally give into their emotions and move in with eachother, despite warnings from thier crew members*

Kirk: I told you, the microwave just looks so out of place here, you should have put it over THERE!
I can't work in a place like this...Everything's in the wrong spot!

Picard: Yes dear, dont' worry dear, I'll fix it... Okay?.. Now calm down and stop getting your panties in a knot.

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If I follow you home, will you keep me?

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Kirk: "Now watch this move I learned on Rigel Seven"....[slip] {CRASH!} "Oops."

Picard: "My grandmother gave me that spatula. Americans, you just can't cook."

Kirk: "Oh, like the English have anything to brag about."

Picard: "I'm not English. I'm a French type person. Why do you think I speak with this outrageous accent?"

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Kirk: "With a bit of a mind flip, you're into a time slip."

Picard: "Let's do the time warp again!"

Kirk: "No, no, we still have another stanza yet. Again, from the top."

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"It's not my birthday, it's not today. It's not my birthday, so why do you lunge out at me?"
--
They Might Be Giants

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Kirk: "Hey, cameraman! Pull my finger!"

Picard: "NOOOOO!!! Not while I'm behind him!"

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Kirk: "Of course it's safe to eat! Look, even Butler likes it!" *tosses Butler a morsel*

Picard: "I didn't know dogs had convulsions when they ate something they liked. . ."

Kirk: "Er. . ."

Posted by jh on :

Kirk: En guarde!!

Picard: No! No! No! That's a thrust not a parry. And your stance is all wrong. Look, why don't you just leave the fencing to the COOL captains. Okay?

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Proverbs for Paranoids, 3: If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.

Posted by jh on :

On another note: You see? All it takes is one 'pull my finger' joke and the response is unstoppable.

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Proverbs for Paranoids, 3: If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Weird, I thought of posting a macarena cap first, but I thought it would be too diturbing, so I chose titanic instead..

Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :

Picard: "Captain Kirk, I believe scientists have already proven long ago that ornithopteric flight is impossible to achieve for humans. And with your weight,"

Kirk: "Shut up, besides long ago could be tomorrow for all we know out here, so I'm still right for the time being."

Picard: "Yes, but there's this really evil villain out there I want you to,"

Kirk "Does he have spare puleys for my wings?"

Picard: "Wings? Er, no, b"

Kirk: "Well then, I'm afraid I can't help you. Goodbye."

Picard "Yes. No. wait!

Kirk: "Hm?"

Picard: "I'll give you pulleys if you help me fight this evil villain."

Kirk: "You have pulleys?"

Picard: "A ship full of pulleys."

Kirk: "Yay!"

Picard: (thinks) Big captain, big ship, big alzheimer's problem."

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

When Shatner does his 'mime-stuck-in-a-glass-box' routine, Stewart is barely able to conceal his embarrassment.

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Kirk: "So then I say to this 20th Century car driver 'yeah? And a double dumb-ass on you!' Hah! What a hoot! That told him. . . you shoulda seen his face!"

Picard: *thinks* "You should see mine. . . Right, I've decided: I want to be back on Veridian III just before the shockwave hits. Anything is better than this. . ."

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Picard: "Great! I come here to find a hero and all I get is Richard Simmons!"

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Picard: "Perhaps I could be of some assistance with the cooking. I am French, you know. We have some experience in this."

Kirk: "Get the HELL out of my kitchen!"

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Cue: "Theme from the Odd Couple"

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"Ooh, FASA." - The Shadow, aka Frank G - June 1999

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Picard: Oh Jaaaames? What colour is the wind?

Kirk: I don't know, Jean-Luc, why don't you check for me *FART*

Picard: You farted on me, James.

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GGWK chick: I'll leave some pamphlets by the door
Cartman: Great we need some more toilet paper.

[This message has been edited by Saiyanman Benjita (edited June 26, 1999).]

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Egads!

Jubilee McGann wins (I was disturbed for quite some time), and RW (now that is disturbing and worthy of a Titanic Innuendo Award) and The First One (finger gag and Butler the taste-tester) gather the runner-up positions.

Honourable mention: Liam "And Spock's bum was THIS big in that..." Kavanagh.

*now kindly takes the time to thank Lee for letting him do this*

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Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")

[This message has been edited by Elim Garak (edited June 27, 1999).]