Flare Sci-Fi Forums: CapCom's-the past. . . 2

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Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

And the future is...me! Lee has gone off his trolley, and now thinks that he's a small island of the coast of Africa, so I'll be taking over CapCom duties for the time being. And due to whatnot happening, I haven't had time to score the internet looking for picture that Lee hasn't used. So instead, I bring you my patented Dogily scanned pics from magazines (TM).
These are from SFX mag BTW, and for this new beginning, I have gone back TO the beginning (see how clever that was?). But I couldn't find any nice pics from The Cage. Or Where No Man has Gone Before. So you'll have to make do with these first season pics. Tsk, some people eh?

And fo rthe second one, I chose the first officer. Who was second in command. Don't ask me why, I didn't write the show.

Mmm...round

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Headmaster suspended for using big-faced boy as satellite-dish
-The Day Today

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Spock decides to show the visiting dignitary what Captain Kirk looks like without the tupee.

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Darlene: I read a lot of science fiction.
Herbert: Bless you, my child.
Kay: The world needs more people like you.

-Deep Space Nine, "Far Beyond the Stars."

Posted by Krenim (Member # 22) on :

Visitor: My, that's a big pearl. Captain Kirk must have gone to a lot of trouble to get it.

Spock: Yes, he did. Dr. McCoy is still trying to get him out of the oyster.

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Darlene: I read a lot of science fiction.
Herbert: Bless you, my child.
Kay: The world needs more people like you.

-Deep Space Nine, "Far Beyond the Stars."

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

*movie capcom mode on*

Spock: How about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the the novelty machine in the men's room? I mean, those are fun even when you're alone. We're talkin' the hula hoop of the nineties!

Bowling Manager Guy: Look, I've told you! We don't need nuthin'! We don't even have a novelty machine in the men's room anymore!

Spock: And you call yourselves a bowling alley?

*movie capcom mode off*

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You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies! They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup. It tastes like ketchup. But brother, it ain't ketchup!
~Homer Simpson

[This message has been edited by Jay (edited August 16, 1999).]

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Spock: "I am conducting an experiment in the human emotions of surprise and anger. Please assist me." *drops the gold ball on the man's foot*

man: "AUGH!!! You Vulcan son of a *****!!! I'm gonna throttle you!!!"

Spock: "Fascinating..."

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"Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true,
That you love me, and I love me..."
-They Might Be Giants, "Kiss Me, Son of God"

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Spock: Say hello to my little friend!

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Man: "And why exactly would I want an Orb of Orbness?"

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Man: "That egg's just so adorable. You must be the proudest mother, Mr. Stork!"

Spock: "Spock. And I have no maternal links to this creature."

Man: "It has your ears! Fine, so McCoy paid me."

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Man: *sings* "Would you like to try my golden salty balls? Put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em!"

Spock: "I think not."

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Guy: No, you're not holding it right...... you'll only gutter the ball and get a lousy zero on your score card.........

Spock: Why don't I just gutter this on top of your head?

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Spock: You want to trade my canister of panyhose for a box of self-sealing stembolts? The offer is tempting...

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Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Spock: "I assure you, the savings in time are worth the discomfort. It is a logical exchange. Now I don't have to go number two for another month."

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

Spock: "I fail to see how this device can 'improve my life' by 'answering the greatest of life's questions.' It seems far more likely that it is a simple trinket designed to seperate foolish emotional beings from their money."

Man: "Come on, just ask it a question. Just one is all I ask."

Spock: "If doing so will convince you to leave. Does this device indeed conform to my earlier hypothesis regarding its purpose?"

*shake shake, flip*

Ball: "Your logic is sound."

Spock: "Fascinating."

Man, under his breath: "Heh heh, I knew tailoring these things for Vulcans would make me a mint. There'a a Vulcan born every minute!"

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"Hey Mr. Boo, fly away home. Your house is so lovely, your children so nice."
--
Hello (The Band)

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Actually, there's a Vulcan born every seven minutes. 8)

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"Wait a minute - this isn't the Monsterometer, it's the Frog Exaggerator!"

- Professor Frink

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

*LOL!*

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :

Spock: "I am unfamiliar with this human tradition. What does it mean when the crystal ball changes color?"

Gypsy: "Stay out of engine rooms."

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Spock: "I believe this photograph was taken and used by Liam to perpetuate much sexual innuendo."

Man: "Is it working?"

Spock: "I am uncertain, however, it does not feel like it."

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

Spock: All I have in this world is balls and my word and I don't break 'em for no one. You understand?

Guy: Um, sure, I understand Mr. Spock. Say, are you feeling ok?

Spock: Darn human half again. Sorry.

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Man: "Why did the Horta cross the road?"

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Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Spock: Sir, a round flashlight is not logical.

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

Posted by Jay the Obscure (Member # 19) on :

*sticks with a theme*

Guy: You gotta have two things to win. You gotta have brains and you gotta have balls. And you got too much of one and not enough of the other.

Spock: Fascinating, although I am not sure that I follow your logic. I am quite intelligent and as you can see, I have rather large balls.

Guy: It is very hard to motivate you Mr. Spock.

[This message has been edited by Jay (edited August 18, 1999).]

Posted by The First One (Member # 35) on :

Man: "Mr. Spock? Why is C-3PO kneeling in front of you like that?"

*zipper sound*

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Spock to annoying man: "I will say this with small words, so you understand: This ball is made of gold. Gold is VERY heavy. Go away, or I shall play dodgeball with you. I am VERY good at dodgeball."

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"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Spock *does mind meld*: I sense a large yolk sac surrounded by egg white.........

Man: Well, let's get cracking....... Breakfast needs to be served, pronto........

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Spock: I'm sorry, but this is hardly a "Golden Globe" award, and I don't believe Star Trek would win one in the first place...

Posted by Saiyanman Benjita (Member # 122) on :

Spock: So I put this in the biscuit?

Kirk: Basket.

Spock: Then why do you call it Biscuitball?

Kirk: Shut up and go roast a Marshmellan.

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Saving the world: $50.
Saving the universe: $1,000,000
Saving your marraige: Sorry, I don't do that.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Marshmellow. Unless you were doing a ST V reference, in which case it's Marshmelon.

And Jeff, please tell me what panyhose it. Tights for dyslexic young horses maybe?

Boy, this was a tough one to judge let me tell you. i sweated long and hard, grappling with the mouse, and despite the lack of innuendo, I have chosen. The winner is... (dah dah daaahh)

Sol "Simon" System

For the Vulcan magic 8 ball. Which will be available in all good (and some crap) stores about 5 minutes after the paramount marketing guys have read this thread.

Two runners-up here.

Lee (The First One)
For getting with the idea, and confirming what we all knew about what Threepio gets upto between movies. And you thought that him being naked in Episode 1 was George's decision...

Also the indestructible Xentrick
For showing us what Vulcan poo looks like. And also explaining why Spock never has to potty during those nasty bridge emergencies.

Honourable mentions go to...
Jay for showing us that Spock has got brains and balls. But like most men, he probably can't use them at the same time.
Also Tahna for the mind-meld with an egg thing, which they've probably done on the Simpsons, and if they haven't, they should.
And finally Elim Garak because an Orb of Orbness is too good a phrase not to use again.

Adieu!

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"Ray...the next time someone asks you if you're a god you say 'Yes!'"
-[i]Winston Zeddmore

[This message has been edited by PsyLiam (edited August 30, 1999).]

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I'd like to thank the Academy, and the webpage "The Magic Nipple". No, I'm not going to post the link.

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"Something I can't comprehend. Something so complex and couched in its equation. So dense that light cannot escape from."
--
Soul Coughing

Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :