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Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
An orginal idea by yours truly. Each time you post, you add lines of dialog from characters with stage directions, etc. In this, we form a classic Voyager ep. I'll start, with my continuation of "Unimatrix Zero"

{Cut Scene: Voyager in warp}
{Scene: Mess Hall, with all senior staff gathered around Chakotay, with Champagne glasses}

Chakotay (raising wine glass): Here's to finally getting rid of her! And that infernal vulcan, too! From now on, Maquis dress and rules.
Everyone (toasting): Here!
Chakotay: Now that I am Captain, and Mr. Paris is First Officer, I'd like to give out special allowances to those crew members I've thought were outstanding in these recent months. First of all, 7/9 no longer has to wear clothes---
[Comm: Bridge to Chakotay, I think you need to get over here]

Next person picks it up.

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com


 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Interesting... Exactly like the "Let's be creative..." threads, but w/ a couple extra gimmicks...

------------------
"Me, Grimlock, not 'nice dino'! Me, Grimlock, bash brains!"
-Grimlock, Transformers: The Movie
 


Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
Argh, reminds me of the decoder game in the Senior Officer's Lounge on TOP I did. I posted binary symbolic code and no one could convert it. Seems like my "contest" ideas never amount to anything ... {Sigh}

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse:

Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'?
Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you?
Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...



 


Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :
 
If you try posting a code here, I guarantee it will take us less than 10 minutes to crack it. Right, CC?

------------------
Frank's Home Page
"I love you all. Now shut up. Danke." - Simon Sizer
 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
Yeah, that one's been done, too. I'm pretty sure just about anyting you can think of has been done here at least once. With the possible exception of stuffing weasels in your pants and running around screaming, "The Redcoats are coming! And they want to spank me!". I don't think that's happened yet...

------------------
"Me, Grimlock, not 'nice dino'! Me, Grimlock, bash brains!"
-Grimlock, Transformers: The Movie
 


Posted by Amadeus on :
 
I suppose I'll take over....

FADE IN

INT.Voyager - Corridor

(Janeway meets up with Chakotay and his forces in the corridor)
Chakotay: "Bitch! I thought you were dead."
Janeway: "You forgot that I was impervious to 50 tons of falling rock."
(exchanges of phaser fire, both sides hide to the side)
Janeway: (to Tuvok) "Tuvok, we need to create a diversion!"
Tuvok: "A diversion, yes. Hmmm let's see. Yes! Of course!" (tuvok pushes Janeway out into the corridor, Janeway takes heavy phaser fire as Tuvok fires back....

...to be continued...

------------------
[email protected]


 


Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
Chakotay (setting phaser to maximum): And this is for all the times I had too--
[Comm: Bridge to Chakotay, we're picking up an unidentifiable ship, bearing four large red letters on its hull, S-C-S-I]
Janeway: We've brought Scuzzy to take the ship. Now, surrender, Chakotay.
Chakotay: *&^&^%%%%! Argh, as soon as I finally get power you ..
{Q appears}
Q: I'm just here to say that you people are really screwed this time. The SCSIs are even above the Q Continuum. Good Lucl
{Q disappears}

Next person continue ...

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse:
Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'?
Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you?
Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...


 


Posted by Amadeus on :
 
Tuvok: (still holding Janeway in line of fire) "To resist the Scsi's is illogical. You surely will not win."
Chakotay: "Ssci what? Bring em on!"
Tuvok: "Did you not hear what I said?"
Chakotay: "I heard what you said, tinkerbell. Don't make me get all indian on ya."
[enter scsi person]
Scsi person: "Chakotay...you have five seconds to drop your weapon and give me twenty...4....3..."
Chakotay: "Shutup geek-boy. Here's some rectified energy..."
(proceeds to fire at scsi person, nothing happens)
(chakotay clicks phaser up a few notches...)
Phaser: "I cannot tolerate these energy settings."
Chakotay: (stunned) "What the hell was that?"
Tuvok: "Your're phaser is trying to communicate with you..."
Scsi person: "No that was me...I also speak phaser."
Chakotay: "Enough ladies, its time to get out of here...."
(chakotay and his band of maquis retreat to cargo bay...

...to be continued...

------------------
[email protected]


 


Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :
 
[...Cargobay 2, finding Harry Kim and Seven of Nine inside]

Chakotay: What the hell is going on here?
Seven: You gave out the order that I do not need to wear the lycra medsuit that the doctor perscribed. Is that not your order captain?
Chakotay: That was my order, but why is Harry restrained with chains and leather to one of the alcoves?
Seven: I am exploring my human sexuality. I find that wearing no clothing gave me a sense of power...a feeling that I have never felt before. Harry was an easy and eager target.
(Chakotay and his group barely hear Seven since they are looking at her assets)
Chakotay: Ah...what was that? Nevermind. Janeway and her Vulcan boytoy are headed this way. We are also under attack by the SCSI.
Seven: The SCSI? I thought that the Borg assimilated them 21 years ago, after the Borg released the Backstreet Borg drones?
Chakotay: What? I was looking at your...Borg implants...the Borg definately went all out in the implants.
Seven: I find the topic of my implants irrelevant. We are under attack.
*Bridge to Chakotay*
Chakotay: What is it?
*Janeway has taken over Decks 15-5, and the SCSI are headed towards your location*
Chakotay: Understood. Seven, looks like we need a distraction. You have to play the dominatrix role again to give us time to escape to the bridge. Get going!
(Chakotay and his group escape through a Jeffries tube access port)
Seven: Understood. Ensign Kim, looks like you're finally going to live out your holoprogam, except that you'll be the one tied up and will need the doctor to treat your dehydration...
Harry: Mmmmmmmmmmmm......


------------------
The world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start my love
And if you're strong enough, together we can take the world apart my love

[This message has been edited by Michael_T (edited August 12, 2000).]
 


Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
{Scene Switches to SCSI, in large black robe and in Darth Vaderish Helmet, in the sickbay}
{Note: Everyone is wearing balck gloves a la Living Witness}

SCSI: There we go Doc, not only are your ethical subroutines offline, but I've added a built-in hypo spray needle thingy to infect people with ...
Doctor (moving around his needle): Hmmmmm, interesting, but I have the odd urge to ..., to sing, Laaaaa (Begins singing opera)
SCSI: Never mind, we need to get down to cargo bay two ...

{Back at the Cargo Bay}
Harry: Ooooooo (snap) AH! (snap)
7/9: Do you hear someone singing coming this way?
{Cargo Bay door literally blasts open}
{SCSI, with singing Doc, Janeway, and Tuvok}
7/9: Welcome, how can I be of service today?
{Everyone drops their weapons}
SCSI: Um, uh, Ms. 7/9. Could be as kind to teel us where Chakotay went?
7/9: I am trained in various--
SCSI: (pulls hands off him) Yes, yes, yes ... Tell me where he is, impetuous woman.
{Doc starts dancing a ballet around the room and grabs seven into a dance, then jabs his needle thing in her}
7/9: I am, incapicated (falls)
{Harry screams}
SCSI: Tell us where he is, and you wont be next.
Harry: He's heading to the bridge.
{SCSI's teams heads back up the cargo lift to deck 1 ...)

....

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse:
Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'?
Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you?
Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...

[This message has been edited by SCSImperium (edited August 12, 2000).]
 


Posted by Amadeus on :
 
(chakotay and team make it to bridge)
Chakotay: "All right listen up bitches, I'm only gonna say this once. Take us to 190.123.153 at warp 9. We're gonna scuttle this ship in that black hole over there. We'll evac to the shuttles. Leave your combadges here."
Torres: "That'll take care of Scsi."
(Scsi person appears out of turbolift)
Scsi: "Take care of what?"
Chakotay: "Computer! Emergency beam-out to shuttle bay, authorization alpha omega 3."
(chakotay and crew beam to shuttle bay)
Paris: "There aren't enough shuttles for all of us!"
Chakotay: "Ok..no problem. Eenie, meenie, ah, hell, Neelix, you'll have to stay behind. Besides, your cooking sucks anyway."
(all get into shuttles except neelix)
Neelix: "But, but...I..."

and the shuttles take off...

------------------
[email protected]


 


Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
{Big cut scene with Voyager firing lots of torpedos, all missing the shuttles}
{Shuttles go to warp}

{Voyager and SCSI's ship follow into warp}

{Back at the bridge ...}
SCSI: Damn, Asteroids made it seem easy.
SCSI Minion #1: Sire, we've detected that Chakotay's team is heading towards, the great barrier.
SCSI: The Great Barrier! What is he, nuts?
SCSI Minion #2, at Comm Station: Sire, we're being hailed by one of the shuttles.
SCSI: On screen
{Chakotay appears on screen, now changed into Maquis garb}
SCSI: Idiot, turn around. Do you know what you're doing? You'll cause a galactic ressonance cascade by going into that thing.
{Chakotay cackles evily}
Chakotay: Nah-nah-nah-naaa!
{Tranmission ends}
{Cut scene as ships come out of warp in front of a giant, red swirling thing}
SCSI: Stop him! He'll destory me!
SCSI Minion #3: Aye, sire, we're targetting three spreads of torpedoes. Firing.

{Voyager and SCSI ship fire on the shuttles, Chakotay's is knocked out of the girth of the red swirling thing, the others enter into the red Swirling thing successfully}
{Bridge}
[Burrr! Warning, galactic ressonance cascade in progress. Warning, complete destruction of the Universe in 45 seconds Burrr!]
SCSI Minion #1: Sire, we reading aliens transporting onto the ship from the galactic rift.
{Camera focuses outside as nearby planets explode and stars implode. And of course, the camera is shaking violently}
{Chakotay's ship hails, comes on screen}


....

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse:
Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'?
Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you?
Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...

[This message has been edited by SCSImperium (edited August 13, 2000).]
 


Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :
 
*wonders if this is a Voyager episode or an overglorification of SCSI*

------------------
"The things hollow--it goes on forever--and--oh my God!--it's full of stars!" -David Bowman's last transmission back to Earth, 2001: A Space Odyssey

The 359 Webpage


 


Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
It's both. And more.

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse:
Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'?
Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you?
Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...



 


Posted by Amadeus on :
 
(chakotay on screen)
Chakotay: "Suck on that, woman!"
Scsi: "Damnit do something about that rift, we need to seal it."
Doctor: "I'm a doctor, not a tubplug."
Scsi: "Exactly how big is the rift? Quickly, we dont have much time.."
Scsi Minion #2: "The rift itself is 1.4 by .5 meters wide sir. Not very large for its power."
(more planets explode outside)
Scsi: "All we need is something to plug it with...computer...give me the exact dimensions of Voyager crewmember "Neelix".
Computer Voice: "The lifeform known as neelix is 1.4 by .5 meters exactly."
Scsi: "Perfect! Emergency beam Neelix to plug the hole. Then procede to our main headquarters. Its time we got more ships......

------------------
[email protected]


 


Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
{Scene: Voyager and SCSI's ship appear out of warp at the Borg Plexis, though it's not Borg anymore ...}
{Music: A modified Borg March played on an organ ...}

SCSI: When I left this morning I distinctly told them to get rid of all that green stuff. I want thinks pitch black. And those paltry cubes, I thought they were all supposed to be scraped.
SCSI Minion #2: Sire, three more SCSIncinerators are coming out of warp. They will join us
{Cut Scene with three huge Retangular ships appearing, all with the "SCSI" red lettering}
SCSI: Where is Chakotay now?
SCSI Minion #1: We have a visual.
SCSI: On Screen
{Scene with Neelix screaming as Chakotay fires at him, in space}
SCSI: Why, the little idiot is trying to destroy everything again. By causing that ressonance cascade, the reality in which Voyager never went to the Bad Lands will happen. Voyager being here is pivotal to my stance today.
{Camera starts shaking violently again}
[Burrr..]

This time he will be destroyed. Back to the great barrier, warp 9.

.....

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

"Woman is deprived of rights from lack of education, and the lack of education results from the absence of rights. We must not forget that the subjection of women is so complete, and dates from such distant ages, that we are often unwilling to recognize the gulf that separates them from us."

Tolstoy, on a more objective note.

 


Posted by Amadeus on :
 
(scene back at rift, scsi ships destroy neelix)
Torres: "No...not Neelix...anyone but Neelix!"
Chakotay: "Shutup, your're really starting to annoy me."
Paris: "I can't shake these computer enhanced ships, your highnessness."
Chakotay: "Anyone familiar with Jem'hadar suicide tactics? We have a few shuttles to spare, if you know what I mean."
(back on main scsi ship)
Scsi Minion #2: "Sir, one of the shuttles is on a direct intercept course...I cant avoid it...5 seconds to impact."
(shuttle collides with scsi ship, shuttle explodes, no damage whatsoever to scsi ship)
Chakotay: "Ummmm...."
Paris: "Sir there's another starship coming in...It's the Enterprise!"
(klingon drums sound in the background)
Worf: (was there the whole time) "Perhaps today is a good day to die"
(on enterprise)
Picard: "I am about to commit a direct violation of every single law that the federation has in existence."
Riker: "Prepare for multi-vector assault mode...."
Data: "But we don't have a multiple sections of the ship to adequetely..."
Picard: "I dont care, make it so...

------------------
[email protected]


 


Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :
 
(scene outside: the Enterprise-E dissolves into the USS Prometheus, thanks to the external holo-emitters)

Picard: Remind me to thank Vice-Admiral Colorge for assigning us to the Prometheus while he's on a vacation in Risa.
Riker: Damn, I wish I were on Risa right now...
Data: You fathead! You have Troi!
Riker: Have you ever tried to get her into bed? Her and all her psycho-babble crap.
Worf: And what about how she tries to analyze everything you say? When you ask if she'd like to be on top, it doesn't mean I'm not insecure about my performance.
Picard: I'd like to hear more on this, BUT WE HAVE A RIFT TO REPAIR!!! QUICK, SEND WESLEY CRUSHER IN A SHUTTLE AND HAVE HIM DESTROY CHAKOTAY!!!!!!!
Data: Bridge to Sickbay..
Beverly: Crusher here
Data: Is the boy ready?
Beverly: He's on his way to Shuttlebay 2 now.
Data: Doctor, we have a Shuttlebay 2?
Beverly: Nope, we have one only, except someone made an error on the...diagram.
Picard: Beverly, I hope that the 121,000 IsoTon Tri-Cobalt Device in Wesley is ready?
Beverly: It is. Too bad he doesn't know about it...
Picard: There are plenty of Wesleys left in the Federation...
Riker: Captain, the Type 10 shuttle carrying the boy is leaving the shuttlebay.
Picard: Good, pop the champagne. Not the replicated stuff, I can tell it's crap.

------------------
The world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start my love
And if you're strong enough, together we can take the world apart my love
 


Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
{Back on Voyager Bridge ...}
{View screen set on Wesley's shuttle}

SCSI: What the heck is that?
SCSI Minion #2: A type 10 Federation shuttle, sir, carrying heavy explosives.

{Shuttle nudges into the rift, explodes, sucking in Chakotay's ships, Voyager, Prometheus, and the SCSI ships}

{Rift opens again and spits ships back out, in front of Earth ...}
{Enterprise A, attached on a string, comes into view}
SCSI Minion #2: We're being haled
SCSI: On screen ..
Pike: This is Captain Pike of the Enterprise ...

....

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

"Woman is deprived of rights from lack of education, and the lack of education results from the absence of rights. We must not forget that the subjection of women is so complete, and dates from such distant ages, that we are often unwilling to recognize the gulf that separates them from us."

Tolstoy, on a more objective note.

 


Posted by Shik (Member # 343) on :
 
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggh....this is so STUPID!

:::pulls automatic weapon & plays Russian roulette:::

------------------
"Do you know how much YOU'RE worth??.....2.5 million Woolongs. THAT'S your bounty. I SAID you were small fry..." --Spike Spiegel


 


Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
Well, all right then.

Setting: Prometheus, the Other Side of the Rift, somewhere unknown.
Riker: "My God, we survived."
Picard: "Of Course, number one. We're still the cash cow of this franchise. What's that buzzing sound?"
{rift appears in space}
{every kind of siren in existence blares}
Voice: {gruff} "Okay you kids, stop screwin' around! Yer screwin' around too much!"
Worf: "Uh-oh."
Voice: {in a different tone entirely} "Respect mah authoritaah!!"
Picard: "Who the devil is THAT? On screen!"
{screen blurs, and reforms as... well... me.}
Riker: "Oh, God, JUST what we DIDN'T need. It's First of Two! Man of a million voices, and nine distinct personalities!"
Data: "First of Two is emanating energies. He appears to have become a member of the Q continuum."
Picard: {Slaps Riker} "I TOLD you, you should have taken that job offer!"
Riker: "Data, you mean... he's..."
Data: "Yes, sir, it's First of Q!"
Worf: "%$#@. the power of the Q, contained in a being even more insane than the Q we know. Permission to go the hell home, sir."
First of Q: "Okay, now like Elmer Fudd! 'I'm dwivin in my caw... tuwn on da wadio...'"
Picard: "Belay that, Mister Worf! Perhaps we can turn this to our advantage. I mean, this plot's insane enough already, how can it hurt?"
First of Q: "Like this."
{a small anvil appears 1.5 meters over Picards head, falls. **KLANNNNG!**}
Picard: "Oww! Geezus!"
Data: "It is inadvisable to inquire along those parameters when a being of such magnitude is within the range of psionicaly audible transmission, sir."
Picard: "Huh?"
{a turbolift door opens, revealing Kosh}
Kosh: "He said, 'Never Ask That Question.'"
{turbolift door closes}
Riker: "Oh."
Worf: "Captain, something's happening..."
Picard: "Now what?!?"
...

------------------
"Nobody knows this, but I'm scared all the time... of what I might do, if I ever let go." -- Michael Garibaldi


[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited August 15, 2000).]
 


Posted by Amadeus on :
 
Pike: "You must withdraw your forces immediately or be forced to suffer the condequences."
(back on scsi ship)
Scsi: "Eliminate them as well."
Scsi Minion #2: "The ship has been destroyed, sir."
Scsi: "Very well, I believe that our problems are now over."
(suddenly, an ice weasel named Hopscotch beams onto the scsi ship)
Hopscotch: "You thought everything was over. I have come to tell you that the journey has only begun. You have now entered another dimension from which all hell breaks loose."
Scsi: "What?"
Hopscotch: "You have entered a world not of sight nor sound but of mind. I am but a messenger. The worst is yet to come. There are two battling forces in this realm, and you must choose sides before being caught up in the forces that bind us all."
Scsi: "Um...."

------------------
[email protected]


 


Posted by SCSImperium (Member # 397) on :
 
SCSI, looking out viewer screen at Earth: What the ....
{Earth begins to fade. Stars around become fainter and fainter, suddenly the ship surrounded by blackness}
{Two giant, white retangles appear, with ball}
{Retangles hit ball back and forth}
SCSI: Oh ... God ... NO!
Hopscotch: Choose a side.
SCSI: We're trapped in PONG!
SCSI Minion #2: It is your scripture, sir, that documents the end of our race when a furry being comes along and traps us in a 1970's invention. I'm afraid we can do nothing ...
SCSI: Noooo! {Swings phaser rifle into trophy case}
{Back at the Enterprise}
Worf: Sir, the rift is opening again.
Picard: What the ....
{Picture of Earth hurling out of the hole}
Worf: I suggest we move sir to avoid being hit by the planet
Picard: Make it so ...
{Enterprise moves just as Earth swooshes by}
{Q appears}
Q: The Alpha Quadrant no longer exists. You're the last human beings alive. Go find something to colonize.
{Q disappears}


.....

------------------
-Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor

Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.

Operator of Cargill Conglomerate Publications, http://www.cargillconglomerate.com

"Woman is deprived of rights from lack of education, and the lack of education results from the absence of rights. We must not forget that the subjection of women is so complete, and dates from such distant ages, that we are often unwilling to recognize the gulf that separates them from us."

Tolstoy, on a more objective note.

 


Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :
 
(Q returns with his wife)
Female Q: WHAT DID I TELL YOU? NO MORE PLAYING WITH THE FEDERATION! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TAKEN OUR SON YET TO PLAY BALL IN THE KILBATI SYSTEM.
Q: But dear... I was just doing this for old times sake...
Q Female: The last time you did it for "old times sake, " you nearly made a baby with JANEWAY!!!
Q: Yes, but there wasn't going to be any sex.
Picard: You you two like to be alone?
Q Female: Yes...

------------------
The world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start my love
And if you're strong enough, together we can take the world apart my love
 




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