posted
An orginal idea by yours truly. Each time you post, you add lines of dialog from characters with stage directions, etc. In this, we form a classic Voyager ep. I'll start, with my continuation of "Unimatrix Zero"
{Cut Scene: Voyager in warp} {Scene: Mess Hall, with all senior staff gathered around Chakotay, with Champagne glasses}
Chakotay (raising wine glass): Here's to finally getting rid of her! And that infernal vulcan, too! From now on, Maquis dress and rules. Everyone (toasting): Here! Chakotay: Now that I am Captain, and Mr. Paris is First Officer, I'd like to give out special allowances to those crew members I've thought were outstanding in these recent months. First of all, 7/9 no longer has to wear clothes--- [Comm: Bridge to Chakotay, I think you need to get over here]
Next person picks it up.
------------------ -Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor
Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.
posted
Argh, reminds me of the decoder game in the Senior Officer's Lounge on TOP I did. I posted binary symbolic code and no one could convert it. Seems like my "contest" ideas never amount to anything ... {Sigh}
------------------ -Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor
Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.
posted
Yeah, that one's been done, too. I'm pretty sure just about anyting you can think of has been done here at least once. With the possible exception of stuffing weasels in your pants and running around screaming, "The Redcoats are coming! And they want to spank me!". I don't think that's happened yet...
------------------ "Me, Grimlock, not 'nice dino'! Me, Grimlock, bash brains!" -Grimlock, Transformers: The Movie
(Janeway meets up with Chakotay and his forces in the corridor) Chakotay: "Bitch! I thought you were dead." Janeway: "You forgot that I was impervious to 50 tons of falling rock." (exchanges of phaser fire, both sides hide to the side) Janeway: (to Tuvok) "Tuvok, we need to create a diversion!" Tuvok: "A diversion, yes. Hmmm let's see. Yes! Of course!" (tuvok pushes Janeway out into the corridor, Janeway takes heavy phaser fire as Tuvok fires back....
posted
Chakotay (setting phaser to maximum): And this is for all the times I had too-- [Comm: Bridge to Chakotay, we're picking up an unidentifiable ship, bearing four large red letters on its hull, S-C-S-I] Janeway: We've brought Scuzzy to take the ship. Now, surrender, Chakotay. Chakotay: *&^&^%%%%! Argh, as soon as I finally get power you .. {Q appears} Q: I'm just here to say that you people are really screwed this time. The SCSIs are even above the Q Continuum. Good Lucl {Q disappears}
Next person continue ...
------------------ -Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor
Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.
A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse: Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'? Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you? Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...
posted
Tuvok: (still holding Janeway in line of fire) "To resist the Scsi's is illogical. You surely will not win." Chakotay: "Ssci what? Bring em on!" Tuvok: "Did you not hear what I said?" Chakotay: "I heard what you said, tinkerbell. Don't make me get all indian on ya." [enter scsi person] Scsi person: "Chakotay...you have five seconds to drop your weapon and give me twenty...4....3..." Chakotay: "Shutup geek-boy. Here's some rectified energy..." (proceeds to fire at scsi person, nothing happens) (chakotay clicks phaser up a few notches...) Phaser: "I cannot tolerate these energy settings." Chakotay: (stunned) "What the hell was that?" Tuvok: "Your're phaser is trying to communicate with you..." Scsi person: "No that was me...I also speak phaser." Chakotay: "Enough ladies, its time to get out of here...." (chakotay and his band of maquis retreat to cargo bay...
posted
[...Cargobay 2, finding Harry Kim and Seven of Nine inside]
Chakotay: What the hell is going on here? Seven: You gave out the order that I do not need to wear the lycra medsuit that the doctor perscribed. Is that not your order captain? Chakotay: That was my order, but why is Harry restrained with chains and leather to one of the alcoves? Seven: I am exploring my human sexuality. I find that wearing no clothing gave me a sense of power...a feeling that I have never felt before. Harry was an easy and eager target. (Chakotay and his group barely hear Seven since they are looking at her assets) Chakotay: Ah...what was that? Nevermind. Janeway and her Vulcan boytoy are headed this way. We are also under attack by the SCSI. Seven: The SCSI? I thought that the Borg assimilated them 21 years ago, after the Borg released the Backstreet Borg drones? Chakotay: What? I was looking at your...Borg implants...the Borg definately went all out in the implants. Seven: I find the topic of my implants irrelevant. We are under attack. *Bridge to Chakotay* Chakotay: What is it? *Janeway has taken over Decks 15-5, and the SCSI are headed towards your location* Chakotay: Understood. Seven, looks like we need a distraction. You have to play the dominatrix role again to give us time to escape to the bridge. Get going! (Chakotay and his group escape through a Jeffries tube access port) Seven: Understood. Ensign Kim, looks like you're finally going to live out your holoprogam, except that you'll be the one tied up and will need the doctor to treat your dehydration... Harry: Mmmmmmmmmmmm......
------------------ The world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start my love And if you're strong enough, together we can take the world apart my love
[This message has been edited by Michael_T (edited August 12, 2000).]
posted
{Scene Switches to SCSI, in large black robe and in Darth Vaderish Helmet, in the sickbay} {Note: Everyone is wearing balck gloves a la Living Witness}
SCSI: There we go Doc, not only are your ethical subroutines offline, but I've added a built-in hypo spray needle thingy to infect people with ... Doctor (moving around his needle): Hmmmmm, interesting, but I have the odd urge to ..., to sing, Laaaaa (Begins singing opera) SCSI: Never mind, we need to get down to cargo bay two ...
{Back at the Cargo Bay} Harry: Ooooooo (snap) AH! (snap) 7/9: Do you hear someone singing coming this way? {Cargo Bay door literally blasts open} {SCSI, with singing Doc, Janeway, and Tuvok} 7/9: Welcome, how can I be of service today? {Everyone drops their weapons} SCSI: Um, uh, Ms. 7/9. Could be as kind to teel us where Chakotay went? 7/9: I am trained in various-- SCSI: (pulls hands off him) Yes, yes, yes ... Tell me where he is, impetuous woman. {Doc starts dancing a ballet around the room and grabs seven into a dance, then jabs his needle thing in her} 7/9: I am, incapicated (falls) {Harry screams} SCSI: Tell us where he is, and you wont be next. Harry: He's heading to the bridge. {SCSI's teams heads back up the cargo lift to deck 1 ...)
....
------------------ -Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor
Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.
A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse: Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'? Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you? Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...
[This message has been edited by SCSImperium (edited August 12, 2000).]
posted
(chakotay and team make it to bridge) Chakotay: "All right listen up bitches, I'm only gonna say this once. Take us to 190.123.153 at warp 9. We're gonna scuttle this ship in that black hole over there. We'll evac to the shuttles. Leave your combadges here." Torres: "That'll take care of Scsi." (Scsi person appears out of turbolift) Scsi: "Take care of what?" Chakotay: "Computer! Emergency beam-out to shuttle bay, authorization alpha omega 3." (chakotay and crew beam to shuttle bay) Paris: "There aren't enough shuttles for all of us!" Chakotay: "Ok..no problem. Eenie, meenie, ah, hell, Neelix, you'll have to stay behind. Besides, your cooking sucks anyway." (all get into shuttles except neelix) Neelix: "But, but...I..."
posted
{Big cut scene with Voyager firing lots of torpedos, all missing the shuttles} {Shuttles go to warp}
{Voyager and SCSI's ship follow into warp}
{Back at the bridge ...} SCSI: Damn, Asteroids made it seem easy. SCSI Minion #1: Sire, we've detected that Chakotay's team is heading towards, the great barrier. SCSI: The Great Barrier! What is he, nuts? SCSI Minion #2, at Comm Station: Sire, we're being hailed by one of the shuttles. SCSI: On screen {Chakotay appears on screen, now changed into Maquis garb} SCSI: Idiot, turn around. Do you know what you're doing? You'll cause a galactic ressonance cascade by going into that thing. {Chakotay cackles evily} Chakotay: Nah-nah-nah-naaa! {Tranmission ends} {Cut scene as ships come out of warp in front of a giant, red swirling thing} SCSI: Stop him! He'll destory me! SCSI Minion #3: Aye, sire, we're targetting three spreads of torpedoes. Firing.
{Voyager and SCSI ship fire on the shuttles, Chakotay's is knocked out of the girth of the red swirling thing, the others enter into the red Swirling thing successfully} {Bridge} [Burrr! Warning, galactic ressonance cascade in progress. Warning, complete destruction of the Universe in 45 seconds Burrr!] SCSI Minion #1: Sire, we reading aliens transporting onto the ship from the galactic rift. {Camera focuses outside as nearby planets explode and stars implode. And of course, the camera is shaking violently} {Chakotay's ship hails, comes on screen}
....
------------------ -Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor
Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.
A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse: Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'? Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you? Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...
[This message has been edited by SCSImperium (edited August 13, 2000).]
posted
*wonders if this is a Voyager episode or an overglorification of SCSI*
------------------ "The things hollow--it goes on forever--and--oh my God!--it's full of stars!" -David Bowman's last transmission back to Earth, 2001: A Space Odyssey
A scene that was cut from last season's "Rock" episode, Tsumkatse: Rock: Do ya smell what the Rock's cookin'? Janeway: Mr. Rock, was that you? Tuvok: An intriguing smell ...
posted
(chakotay on screen) Chakotay: "Suck on that, woman!" Scsi: "Damnit do something about that rift, we need to seal it." Doctor: "I'm a doctor, not a tubplug." Scsi: "Exactly how big is the rift? Quickly, we dont have much time.." Scsi Minion #2: "The rift itself is 1.4 by .5 meters wide sir. Not very large for its power." (more planets explode outside) Scsi: "All we need is something to plug it with...computer...give me the exact dimensions of Voyager crewmember "Neelix". Computer Voice: "The lifeform known as neelix is 1.4 by .5 meters exactly." Scsi: "Perfect! Emergency beam Neelix to plug the hole. Then procede to our main headquarters. Its time we got more ships......
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