Man....it was laughably bad. Really, I've seen better stories from the Sci-Fi channel (the abyss of programming).
SPOILERS:
Some of the things that make zero sense: Wylend's men are armed better than any military contingent when they should've expected no trouble from a buried pyrimid. It's like sending in Navy Seals to an archeological dig. No one inside the underground pyrimid keeps their snowsuits or comments that there's warmth.
The Aliens gestation is now only about ten minutes at most. Seriously, they go from eggs to chestbursters in minutes and the aliens are full grown within a couple of hours at most.
The Aliens are the version from Alien Ressurection (with than fin thing on the tail: they likely used the same CGI models. Predators use several godzillia wresteling moves to fight the aliens hand-to-hand, and even swinging them around by their tail. The aliens even sound a bit like godzilla....
The pyrimid itself is one big funhouse of moving maze walls and other silliness that would be cliche' in any video game. Without a doubt though, there is not a single moment of the movie that's not telegraphed a mile before it happens: there's even the obligatory "dead meat" character that starts the movie by droning on about his two young kids and how he wants to snap lots of pictures...
I saw it for free, along with several aliens fans- and not one person thought it was a good movie.
It was terrible.
Nice Predator ship designs though.
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
So what did you really think?
I plan to watch it next week when I don't have to pay for it.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
I found myself wanting the movie to be over so I could come home and work on a model I'm building.
For something positive to say: the CGI Queen is nicer to look at than the old stop-motion version from Aliens.
Alien queens (insert joke here) can be frozen for over 100 years and then be defrosted and immeadeately shocked (via silly lightening bolt effects) into laying eggs.
Somehow there's more alien drones running around than the number of grunts Wyland brought with him as security.
Did you know that Predaors taught the Egyptians the Aztec and the Cambodians how to build pyrimids? All that's mising is a Stargate. The Predators were worshipped as gods by these primitave peoples and the primatives sacrificed themselves willingly to allow for the hunt to begin....
Posted by Mark Nguyen (Member # 469) on :
But seriously, did you EXPECT a good film when going into it? They had a GEM with the original AVP miniseries from Dark Horse - well-paced, about the length of a movie, and could probably be done on a modest budget. Really, they should have just stuck with that.
Mark
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
I loved the AVP miniseries and despite having read plot synopsis of this movie I still hoped for some shred of story or even (mabye) a single decent acting job but i hoped in vain.
The woman that plays (forgetable) the lead character is about as scared and shocked by the existance of these extremely dangerous aliens as Tommy Lee Jones from M.I.B. Possibly less so.
Did I mention that the Predator pyrimid is directly beneath a spooky old abandoned whaling settelment? Amazing coincidence that whalers would settle there of all the potential places on the continent....of course all the whalers disappeared mysteriously exactly 100 years to the day before the story. (though their town is still in perfect shape after a century in Anartica's winds- right down to silverware and dishes being still on the tables.)
Best of all: the movie leaves the heroine standing alone in Antarctica's interior wearing only a tank-top and pants (but hey, she'll be fine: she's got a souvineer Predator spear to keep her alive on the long trek back to the now-crewless ship that brought the team there).
Watch as the lead archeologist and his assistant/buddy easily translate a blend of aincent Myan and Egyptian thousands of years old hyroglyphics. Makes Hoshi's skills pale by comparison.
Even Lance Henrickson sleepwalks through his role as the dying billionaire Wyland (he's just looking for something to make his legacy from or some nonsense).
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
Sounds great.
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
And it's PG-13, so I suppose none of the language Hudson blurted out during his last stand? And as little blood as possible?
Jason: Nitpick, the only time the alien queen was stop-motion filmed was when she was falling out of the Sulaco, before that it was the large model, operated mechanically.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"Even Lance Henrickson..."
Snark: I cannot for the life of me think of a role Henriksen has played since Aliens (and that's excluding his cheapass horror flicks) in which he WASN'T on autopilot from opening credits to closing ones.
Posted by The Mighty Monkey of Mim (Member # 646) on :
Well, I can't say I'm surprised, but it does rather skew all the enthusiasm that Henrickson had for the film earlier this year. Damn he really had me going for a while.
Of course, perhaps we would do well to keep in mind that the reviewer deems Star Trek Nemesis to be a better film than both Star Trek V: The Final Frontier and Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country...
-MMoM Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Oh, on't take my word for it MIM .....go see this for yourself: if you liked STV, you may find something worthwhile in it, I suppose.
As to Hendrickson: See him in Dead Man. He's a total bad-ass in that movie (a western no less). He can act- we just remember most of his performances from the Aliens movies, much to his discredit.
I cant see why he was so enthusiatic abot this: his part is very minor and aside from his looking like Bishop, could've been played by anyone else just as well. They mention that Wyland industries is a robotics company but they sure don't think to bring any R.O.V. to scout this underground incredibly aincent pyrimid that now has an energy bloom detectable from orbit......he am smart.
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Saw Henriksen in some crummy film about hunting Bigfoot; he has aged, which may have partly contributed to my no-way-can-that-be-Lance-Henriksen attitude I maintained until I checked it on IMDb. And yet strangely here in NZ he's appearing in Visa (or maybe MasterCard) commercials, looking not a day older than he did in Millenium. Unless they were filmed years ago and have only just got here.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Millenium looked intresting at first but I missed a couple of episodes nad never went back to it. His voice mkaes you want to listen to whatever his lines are: he seems really sincere.
He looks pretty cool eating some guy's arm over an open fire too.
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Come on people. The downward spiral started with 3. Then came Re-sucktation and now this? Must've been created by the same idiots that made the final Highlander movie. (I hope FINAL)
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Predator 2 was pretty bad as well.... It's just Fox eeking the last drops of cash from two expired franchises.
As expected. It's a good enough movie to go with friends and make fun of it as it happens though: there's many a unintentionally funny moment.
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
I enjoyed Predator 2!
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
It was'nt terrible, it just was'nt very good either. It was campy.
Posted by Pensive's Left testes for mayor... (Member # 1203) on :
Can someone explain to me why Darkhorse doesn't take Fox to court for making such a fucking piece of shit film? I've had the displeasure of seeing short clips of German Shit Eating Porn with more essence.
Truly, if there is a reason I don't go to see too many movies any more, it's because the Film makers in Hollywood go to great lengths to ensure their products are up to their level of Fermented Cow Shit, thus turning me off like a 86 year Double Anal geriatric...
Fuck. I watch Anime for that reason alone...
Posted by Ultra Manjuice (Member # 239) on :
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
"Bill Paxton is the only actor to have had his characters killed by a Terminator, a Predator and an Alien, which is why he's the keynote speaker at the upcoming Terminator, Predator and Alien Symposium for Peace."
I'm going to watch the new film on Tuesday. Yay!
Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :
Antarctica? I thought Predators liked it hot. That was made pretty clear in the first two films: that they only appeared in the jungle at the hottest time of the year; and that LA was in the middle of an unseasonable heatwave.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
In a flashback to "when Predators were our gods" Antarctica is somehow a steamy jungle chock full o' humans worshipping and building pyrimids and other new-agey stuff. Oddly, Predators are using the exact same spaceships in today as thousands of years ago and they even used the exact same equipment back then as in the first two predator movies.
So much for progress.
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
I liked the "Predator I" predator-mask and weapons better than 2. The forehead got too pink and crab-like in II, and the spear, net gun and hover disc struck me as slightly geeky. Also, the eyes and eye-pits were darker in 1.
And his roar was better in 1, it got so ridiculous in 2 when he was roaring at Danny Glover in the meat house and you could hear how they had inserted the elephant sound, an insect chirp and a lion's roar all at once. Meh.
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
I've got a general Predator-question, something I think hasn't been answered before. Poncho asked it inadvertedly in the first movie; why do they skin them? When the Predator had killed Billy, it merely ripped his spine and skull out and threw the rest away, so skinning doesn't seem to be a prerequisite to the head-claiming. Also, cleaning the guts out, huh? Could it be that it prepares to eat them? But Jim Hoppah seemed to have hung there for some time, untouched...
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Psyche warfare to get the prey all riled up mabye.
The new hover disk thing is a Krull rip-off, so you'll get uber-geeky out of the movie if you like that sorta thing......
Predators are dumb: the main Pred kills a facehugger with his spinning disk like it was nothing worth noticing and then (you'll love this) TAKES OFF HIS HELMET to scribe some victory letters in his face (from alien blood) and so (suprise!) another facehugger jumps right on him and and skull-fucks an embryo into him. Mind you, these predators knew exactly what the aliens were and what to expect....
Duh.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
"Oddly, Predators are using the exact same spaceships in today as thousands of years ago and they even used the exact same equipment back then as in the first two predator movies."
Well, why shouldn't they? Their Alien prey didn't advance at all, and somehow the thought of Predator scientists struggling in skull-adorned white labcoats to perfect the Mark VI Thermal Imaging System doesn't appeal to me that much either. Somehow.
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
Maybe they're like the Kazon? Usurpers? Took over a planetful of good equipment from their former, scrawny foreign rulers...
Posted by WizArtist (Member # 1095) on :
Predators are the Anti-Paklids. "We are Strong" DOH!
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Pensive's Left testes for mayor...: Fuck. I watch Anime for that reason alone...
Thank god anime never tries to milk money out of a tired franchise by producing a shit product. And on the same lines, wasn't DBGT just super awesome?
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Forget that: watch the waste of time that is Blue Gender sometime. Man, that's make AVP look like a masterpiece by comparison.
Predators in labcoats is about as funny an image as Klingons in labcoats....their society just does'nt seem technology-driven, yet it's silly to think that no improvments would've been made.
Mabye they have far more advanced tech and limit themselves to select weapons as part of the hunting ritual....
Of course, their ships would still be diffrent (unless they suffer from time-dialation effects, in wich case, the same predators might have been alive for the the good ol'days of hums worshippers, I suppose.
Posted by Pwesty (Member # 1035) on :
Hi Guys I was just wondering if anybody know how Paul W.S. Anderson was able to bring these to franchise together. I saw on tv on Friday that the owners of both Alien and Predator do not like one another? Anybody know for sure, just wondering and thanks ;-)
Posted by deadcujo (Member # 13) on :
I believe Fox owns both franchises; it is, however, entirely possible that Fox hates itself.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
Fox does indeed own both- lock, stock and barrell: they've been making AVP comics since the early 90's.
Even if Fox hates itself, I still hate them far more.
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
Wouldn't you, if you were Fox?
Posted by Fleet-Admiral Michael T. Colorge (Member # 144) on :
Well, I guess it's another movie that I can walk out on.
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
People who leave cinemas before the ending never were serious about the craft. *ka-snortage!*
Posted by Aban Rune (Member # 226) on :
I've never walked out on a movie. Made out during... coupla times. Fallen asleep in the middle of... of course. But never walked out of.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
I had a girl expertly lick my ear through a movie once (shudder!). I can't recall what movie it was or what it was about but it was the best movie-experience of my entire life.
I left halfway through Tomb Raider- someone had pulled a fire alarm (interrupting the laughably bad movie) and while the theatre staff said they'd rewind the movie, it just was not worth my time to stay.
I should've walked out of Event Horizon but some part of me thought Sam Neil and Larry Fischburne would'nt actually be in a movie so stupid. I thought it had to get better......I was wrong.
Posted by Ultra Manjuice (Member # 239) on :
Man, Larry Fischburne has never been in a good movie. OR HAS EVER BEEN IN ONE.
Posted by MrNeutron (Member # 524) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ultra Manjuice: Man, Larry Fischburne has never been in a good movie. OR HAS EVER BEEN IN ONE.
Does that include Apocalypse Now and Boyz N the Hood?
I remember suffering through Event Horizon, and at some supposedly dramatic moment with Larry on screen, my friend Marc leaned over and whispered, "What's Love Got to Do With It?"* I burst out laughing. It was the most enjoyable part of the movie.
*-The title of the 1993 film in which Larry played Ike Turner.
Posted by Jason Abbadon (Member # 882) on :
King of New York was an excellent film with him. Plus, when he when kills Wesley Snipes' charcter, it's soooooo funny!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 138) on :
Given what I've paid to see a movie, I can't bring myself to walk out. I was tempted during The Big Bounce.
I like the big budget Jerry Bruckhimer type movies such as The Rock, Armaggedon, Gone in 60 Seconds, Con-Air, etc.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jason Abbadon: would'nt...has'nt
I have partially blinded myself already just so that I can read your posts without crying over the terrible, terrible things you do to our language, but that is getting out of control.
The apostrophe goes where the missing letters are, not where the two words join together. So "wouldn't", "shouldn't", "hasn't", and so on.
Carry on.
(And while you are correct about Blue Gender, that doesn't really support my "anime shows going on long past their sell-by date merely with the aim of making money" argument. But well done for trying.)
Posted by MrNeutron (Member # 524) on :
quote:Originally posted by PsyLiam: (And while you are correct about Blue Gender, that doesn't really support my "anime shows going on long past their sell-by date merely with the aim of making money" argument. But well done for trying.)
How about Inuyasha? Dragonball QRSTUV or whatever they got it up to?
Posted by Pensive's Left testes for mayor... (Member # 1203) on :
quote:Originally posted by MrNeutron:
quote:Originally posted by PsyLiam: (And while you are correct about Blue Gender, that doesn't really support my "anime shows going on long past their sell-by date merely with the aim of making money" argument. But well done for trying.)
How about Inuyasha? Dragonball QRSTUV or whatever they got it up to?
Inuyasha actually is a good show.
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
Hobbes: "I like the big budget Jerry Bruckhimer type movies such as The Rock, Armaggedon, Gone in 60 Seconds, Con-Air, etc."
I like my Bruckheimer too! Especially Bruckheimer and eggs. Or Bruckheimer, eggs, bacon and Bruckheimer.
*Bruck, bruck, bruck, lovely bruuuck, must have the bruuuck*
Posted by Ultra Manjuice (Member # 239) on :
Kicked in the penas!
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ultra Manjuice: Man, Larry Fischburne has never been in a good movie. OR HAS EVER BEEN IN ONE.
TEH MATIRX
UR GONNA B STUPID ADN DEAD
Posted by Ultra Manjuice (Member # 239) on :
Oh shit no! You're kicked in your penas, too!
Posted by Ultra Manjuice (Member # 239) on :
Oh, PS - You're radioactive, and that's no good.
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR MANJUICE
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
Allcaps says: "GAH!" *falls off horse into pond of horseshit, twitches a bit, then lies still*
You've killed Allcaps! This is truly a sad day for internet...
Or is it???
Posted by Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Yes, because you need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fucking s and say "THAT'S THE BAD GUY". SO SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME.
Posted by Nim the Plentiful (Member # 205) on :
You can't handle the home!
Posted by Ultra Manjuice (Member # 239) on :
You both remind me of a pair of saddle shoes I was once given as a gift from a dead Godfather. I never wore them, and I filled them with shaving cream once and threw them at dogs.
Posted by Pensive's Left testes for mayor... (Member # 1203) on :
Well i say the movie. interesting fight scenes but i suppose You could get better lighting at a WWE event.
it was very forgetable. even the 'scars' the Ebony~Ripley had was fake like Jake.
I think 20th Century Fox Made it so they wouldn't get sued for NOT making it. which for us true fans, is still the equivalent of a shit stew with apples...
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
s and say "THAT'S THE BAD GUY". SO SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME.