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» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Community » Officers' Lounge » I need story ideas, and opinions on one I already have (Page 1)

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Author Topic: I need story ideas, and opinions on one I already have
Omega
Some other beginning's end
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Thanks, Sol, for letting me reopen this.

Some background. I participate in a church youth program called Lads to Leaders. It's quite a large operation. We have conventions in Tennessee, Kentucky, and Florida, with a total participation of about 12,000 people. Generally, it's a competition. There are any number of categories, ranging from memorizing scripture, to public speaking, to song leading, to various art contests. However, the one I'm usually most interested in is the puppet contest. You put on a puppet show at the convention, and get rated in various categories. Trust me, it's more fun than it may sound. We actually won our division last year. Never happened before.

Anyway, the puppet show, along with most of the rest of the competitions, has to be in accord with the theme for the year. My problem is this: the theme this year is "God and Country." What in the name of Dominar Rygel the Sixteenth of Hyneria am I supposed to do with THAT?! I mean, last year it was "Family". We just did a nice little modern prodigal son skit, with CD-burned sound effects (by yours truely), and it worked out great. But... GOD AND COUNTRY!? I've been trying to come up with something to use for that for the last four or five months, off and on, and I still have no clue whatsoever. What story could we possibly tell that would be related to that? I know, religion isn't the field of more than two of you, but a number of you write. Surely you can help me out for an idea.

I'd like it to be something that you can relate to. I don't want to use God as a character, or Satan, or an angel, or anything like that. Just humans. Something I could use as an ep of some TV sitcom/drama. How can the concept of God and Country interact with modern, everyday life?

One idea that's occured to me is to do a Twilight Zone parody. Get a puppet that looks like Rod Serling, and set the thing in some alternate universe where the government doesn't allow free practice of religion. Thing is, I can't come up with an acceptable resolution to that. I'd really like something that is related to reality somehow.

I do have one idea, but I'm open to others. I'd like some feedback on this one, too. It is as follows.

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A young man is in prison, there to await arraignment. He tells his parents that he has no idea why he's there, that he didn't do it, and that he plans to plead "not guilty". He insists to his fellow prisoner the same things. His GF visits him. We discover that she was apparently involved in the same crime that he was, when he promises not to rat on her. So he does know what he's done, but we still don't. They get into an argument over whether he should plead "not guilty", because, she says, if he knows he commited a crime, he should tell the truth. He questions what good it could possibly do for him to go to prison. She leaves, though not angrily. The boy thinks. About what she's said.

Eventually, the time comes for his arraignment. As he's leaving the cell, he finally tells his friend what he is in prison for: he's a Christian. He says that he has to tell the truth, because it's the right thing to do. He goes before the judge, and pleads guilty, to everyone's (or no one's) surprise. When he's taken back to his cell, the prisoner asks him what happened that he's back so soon. Our boy tells the prisoner what happened, and why he did what he did, even though he doesn't understand why he's in prison. The prisoner asks the boy to teach him about "this Christ guy". Boy complies. Fade to exit.

--------------------

Now, there is no comedy in this plot AT ALL, which is a first for our group. Straight-out drama. Even though our group's comedy usually comes in the mannerisms and dress of the puppets themselves, I think that humor of any kind might be out of place in a script like this. Keep in mind, of course, that this is a bare-bones outline. I have some detail in mind. For one, you never see the other prisoner. He's on the other side of the cell wall. I thought it'd be an interesting effect to make one character a disembodied voice. The plot lends itself to simplicity: no scenery changes in mid-skit, no complex sound effects, nothing. Personally, I like it.

Any thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?

NO RELIGION FLAMES! There will be NO religion flames in this thread, people, or I will personally call down heavenly fire upon you, and have God smite you with hemmhoroids and all manner of affliction. So don't do it.

[ September 17, 2001: Message edited by: Omega ]



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"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

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Malnurtured Snay
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I didn't mean to go the religious flames route. There are questions I'd like answered, tho.

Is the guy in jail because he's a Christian, or is he a guy in jail who committed a crime and happens to be Christian?

I mentioned the religious persecution because I think it's a valid point Omega might want to consider.

quote:
I will personally call down heavenly fire upon you, and have God smite you with hemmhoroids and all manner of affliction.

Well ... this would finally get me to admit that a God exists. So do it.

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www.malnurturedsnay.net


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Omega
Some other beginning's end
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he finally tells his friend what he is in prison for: he's a Christian.

He's there because he's a Christian. What, they don't teach colons any more in school? ;-)

[Side note: Either Tim or Liam is going to come in here and make some sort of joke about the assholes they knew in highschool. Be prepared.]

It's a Twilight Zone kinda thing. For over two thirds of the skit, the judges will have no idea how this fits into the theme. The guards treat him horribly, and his parents react as if his crime is something they'd disown him over. Then the twist: he's not there because he's a murderer or a rapist; he's a Christian. Remember what I once told you, Jeff? I'm looking for emotional reaction when I'm telling my story. Impact is everything.

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"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"


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Malnurtured Snay
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Well, in regards to what you told me, and paraphrasing Hemingway very badly, "if the author knows something about the story or the characters, that's the only important thing: he doesn't need to tell the audience, they'll read it in what is not said."

Or something along those lines.

I do think you should consider the storyline in light of the reprisals against Muslims and those who people think are Muslims. I don't think you mean to slight or ignore that, but I think when something happens in someone's own town (which these are) they tend to hit harder then tales of repression overseas.

Now, going completely against Mr. Hemmingway, here are some questions:

Is any religion a criminal offense, or just this one particular religion?

Where'd he learn about Christianity?

If he a specific faith (Lutheran, Catholic, etc.) or is there a "new wave" of Christianity in light of repression which is much more broad-based and general?

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www.malnurturedsnay.net


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Omega
Some other beginning's end
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Now, going completely against Mr. Hemmingway, here are some questions:

Sorry, but I don't have the answers for you. There is no backstory. I didn't create an entire universe behind this. It's a self-contained story. Details like that don't matter. You simply watch the story unfold.

Well, in regards to what you told me, and paraphrasing Hemingway very badly, "if the author knows something about the story or the characters, that's the only important thing: he doesn't need to tell the audience, they'll read it in what is not said."

That's about characterization. I was telling you about basic storytelling. The two are totally different concepts.

I do think you should consider the storyline in light of the reprisals against Muslims and those who people think are Muslims.

At that rate, I can't do a story about ANYTHING, because someone just might be offended. Further, exactly what's your problem with this in relation to recent Muslim persecution? I don't say or imply that it's a good thing, by any stretch of a rational imagination. And remember (or not), this won't be performed for another eight months. Under any circumstances, I can pretty well guarentee you that no Muslim will ever see it.

What's your problem with this, anyway? You've keep bringing up this Muslim stuff that's got so many holes in it that it's practically non-existant. Please, useful comments.

[ September 17, 2001: Message edited by: Omega ]



--------------------
"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

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Malnurtured Snay
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quote:
That's about characterization. I was telling you about basic storytelling. The two are totally different concepts.

Go read "White Elephants", I think is the name of the story. He doesn't even tell you what the two are talking about, but you'd have him put in unneccesary flashbacks.

quote:
Sorry, but I don't have the answers for you. There is no backstory. I didn't create an entire universe behind this. It's a self-contained story. Details like that don't matter. You simply watch the story unfold.

Well, if you don't know, you don't know. How do you imagine it, though? Does it take place in the US? Is there a backlash against religions? Is he in the East somewhere?

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Omega
Some other beginning's end
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Darn, you posted while I was editing...

ANYWAY...

How do you imagine it, though? Does it take place in the US? Is there a backlash against religions? Is he in the East somewhere?

It.

Does.

Not.

Matter.

The story is what it is. Much like you describe "White Elephants". I don't NEED a backstory, if it has the effect I want.

you'd have him put in unneccesary flashbacks

Where do you get that? It follows from absolutely nothing I've said. If something in a story is unnecessary for it to have the effect you want, then don't include it. That's exactly what I told you after I read YOUR story.

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"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"


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Malnurtured Snay
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Omega,

I'm just pointing out the Muslim thing as something you might want to consider. This conversation, however, should go in the F.B. version of this thread as its what got the first version of this thread placed in the F.B. in the first place.

Of course, maybe this makes even more reason for the play theme. The evils of repression of religion, culture, etcetra.

[ September 17, 2001: Message edited by: Malnurtured Snay ]



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PsyLiam
Hungry for you
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I am far too tired to read most of that above, but two things:

"I participate in a church youth program called Lads to Leaders. (Or, more politically correct, Leaders/Leaderettes.)"

I'll let someone else make the original joke, but I will point out that since "leader" isn't a male-form of the word, it's not political correct, it's just wrong, just as much as saying that Jubes was a "memberette" of Flare.

"What, they don't teach colons any more in school? ;-)

[Side note: Either Tim or Liam is going to come in here and make some sort of joke about the assholes they knew in highschool. Be prepared.]"

Now, I don't know what sort of reputation British schools had for being tough, but generally I found that lack of colon-knowledge did not automatically mean taht some was a bastard. Or maybe that was just my school.

--------------------
Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.


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capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
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I'd be more worried about 'Lads to Leaders/Leaderettes' because apprently, they all start out as Lads, but through the process some end up as Leaderettes!

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"Are you worried that your thoughts are not quite.. clear?"

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Omega
Some other beginning's end
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Why, what ever are you two on about?

*whistles*

but generally I found that lack of colon-knowledge did not automatically mean taht some was a bastard

To say nothing of anatomical knowledge...

[ September 17, 2001: Message edited by: Omega ]



--------------------
"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

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PsyLiam
Hungry for you
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You mean "Whistles/whistlettes", don't you?

--------------------
Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.

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Jay the Obscure
Liker Of Jazz
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I as understand this, it is illegal in the Twilight Zone country to be a Chritian.

And I assume that with his denials of his beliefs to 1) his parents, 2) his fellow prisoner, 3) his GF that you are trying to do something Peter's 3 denials?

I wonder about the following then.

  • Is the Twilighty Zone country based on Rome and Rome's early tendancy to persecute Christians?
  • Why is it illegal to be a Christian in this Twilighty Zone country? What is the punishment?
  • How exactly does the theme "God and Country" fit into this? Are you trying to do an allegory based on Rome's offical attempts to stamp out Christians? If so, you might want to add an offical from the state and not just prison guards.
  • If the sequence is based on Peter, you might want to play that angle up a bit more.


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Great is the guilt of an unnecessary war.
~ohn Adams

Once again the Bush Administration is worse than I had imagined, even though I thought I had already taken account of the fact that the Bush administration is invariably worse than I can imagine.
~Brad DeLong

You're just babbling incoherently.
~C. Montgomery Burns

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Omega
Some other beginning's end
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I as understand this, it is illegal in the Twilight Zone country to be a Chritian.

Aye.

And I assume that with his denials of his beliefs to 1) his parents, 2) his fellow prisoner, 3) his GF that you are trying to do something Peter's 3 denials?

Ooh. Never occured to me at all. I like it. I don't see how I can do much with it, unfortunately. Drawing that paralell in a non-forced way would be a pain. Maybe I could have a sound effect of a rooster crowing, shortly before he's taken off to the judge?

Why is it illegal to be a Christian in this Twilighty Zone country?

Is there ever a decent "why" for a group being persecuted?

What is the punishment?

Indefinite time in prison, with reviews every couple years to see if the guilty party has... repented, for lack of a better word.

And if that's the sentence, another possible angle occurs to me. What if he's been in jail for a while now, and he's going before the review board for the third or fourth time? He's survived it before, but now he's just about broken, and he's going to deny his faith so he can leave prison. But somehow, talking to someone else convinces him otherwise... a daughter, perhaps? Doing a skit about a grown man would be a first, as well.

That angle would need a little more work. I'll think about it.

How exactly does the theme "God and Country" fit into this?
It's kinda forced, but the general idea was that even though he's justified in breaking one law, the law against Christianity, he can't break a law against perjury. Of course, that destroys the whole "deny your faith" angle, which I like. So scratch that.

I was thinking about the concept, and unless I wanted to deal with God and country as totally seperate concepts in the skit, which would be a plot-wise pain, I have to intimately relate them somehow. Historically, that's lead to one of two things: the religion taking over the country, ala the Taliban; or the country repressing the religion, ala... the Taliban.

Are you trying to do an allegory based on Rome's offical attempts to stamp out Christians?

Never occured to me. I was just going for impact. But there was a story in the NT (Acts, IIRC), where two people were in prison. (Paul and someone else, most likely; there are a lot of pairings in the later NT, and I can never remember them all.) They were there for being Christians, and there was an earthquake that opened all the cell doors. They stayed, because the law said that's where they should be. Kept the guard from killing himself, incidently. Anyway, the story is about state persecution in general. Where doesn't matter.

If so, you might want to add an offical from the state and not just prison guards.

That I like. A public defender, perhaps?

Thanks for the input, Jay. Quite insightful.

--------------------
"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"


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Malnurtured Snay
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quote:
Is there ever a decent "why" for a group being persecuted?

Not decent, but there's usually a reason.

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