9am... natural causes, no one saw it coming. He was turning 70 in a week. My dad was going to take him to lunch for his birthday. It would have been the first time they ever spent time together, just being with eachother.
My family sucks. I know that now is not the time to harbor resentment, but I can't seem to help it. Growing up, I was never allowed to associate with my dad's side of the family, so I missed out on a lot of getting to know them. It has only been in the last several years since I've moved out that I have been able to get to know my grandparents at all, and even that isn't a lot.
One thing I did recently come to realize though - they love me, no matter what, and they would do anything for me.
My mom's side of the family has all but disowned me, but my grandma and grandpa on Dad's side would never have done it.
My grandpa was a cranky old man. Angry, bitter, even prone to moments of abusiveness when he was younger. I'm not going to paint a picture of perfection or try to put him on a pedestal. But in the last 5 years, since he was forced into retirement, he had changed so much.... a year ago, he was diagnosed with Parkinsons.... it aged him quickly, but he was still considered healthy, and my grandfather had become so sensitive and loving..... I'm glad to have that memory of him to be left with. I saw him just last night... he was tickled to see me, but because of working, I got to Thanksgiving dinner just as everyone was leaving..... he told me how beautiful and grown up I looked. And I'll never see him again.
The news came to me at work today, and it's got me really messed up... I've never taken anything so hard in my life, and it's only going to get harder....... my family is having to all come together for the funeral. It's going to be bloody warfare. It always is with my family. And this will be the first time we're all together EVER as far back as I can remember...
Funny thing is, everyone was going to come together next June for my grandparent's 50th anniversary. I was dreading it, so much fighting has been done already......
Nothing like speeding up the inevitable though....
I tell you all of this because I'm a wreck, and I just need to get it out.
Now, I need to sleep....... the morning will come soon, and I'm going to need my energy to face another day......
~LOA
-------------------- "You are anal twattypoo who has ruined my good mood" PsyLiam to TSN May 01,2006.
Registered: Mar 1999
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-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Sorry for your loss. Just do your best and be there for your grandma. She'll need you now.
-------------------- Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering. -Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Registered: Aug 2002
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Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
posted
Sucks that even the death of a family member doesn't make people realize life's too short for petty bickering... and that someone always has to rekindle the same old damn feuds.
posted
Family feuds suck. No matter what the cause. My family is 1/2 FanaticalBibleNutz(TM) and the other 1/2 is Greedy Jewish Lawyers. Don't ask me how the heck they got together in the first place.
Imagain the feuds that result from this.
I feel for ya, LOA. So close to the holidays too.
-------------------- Like A Bat Out Of Hell...
Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
I'm sorry for your loss, LOA. Perhaps this presents your family a good opportunity to put the past behind them. This ought to be a time for coming together.
Depending on the circumstances, it doesn't always work like that, though. My mother still won't speak to her brother after the inheritance fiasco following her mother's death. As a result I hardly know that side of the family at all. Seeing that ugliness, my sister and I have resolved that we will never let ourselves be like that. And maybe that's all you really can do.
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Everyone is in town now.... everyone.... and it's getting so ugly... and I'm so in the middle.... I've been chewed out by my mom already, and I upset her by visiting my aunt today, so she's going to chew me out again tommorrow. She is PISSED. Like, I'm probably going to have to find a new place to live, pissed (I currently rent a house from my parents.)
*shakes head* It's just so awful.... and I've never cried so much in my life... I pride myself in being strong and never crying, but this is just too much...... I just don't know what to do.....
Really, I need a hug.... but my family doesn't touch or hug at all, so that's not an option, and my friends are all out of town for the time being.... it's just so much, and it's happening so fast......... I just wanna curl up in a ball and not wake up until it's all over........................
~LOA
-------------------- "You are anal twattypoo who has ruined my good mood" PsyLiam to TSN May 01,2006.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Yikes. I am really sorry; this sounds like a horrible situation. It's good that you've cried. You're not penting up all of your emotions. You said all your friends are out of town; can you call any of them? It may not have the safety and reassurance of a hug, but just talking to one of them can help out a bunch.
You feel that your mom may throw you out of your house, but do you think there's any chance of talking it out with her when things have calmed down a bit? How's your dad on this, could he be a calming influence on your mom? I don't know anything about your family life, so I apologize if I've said something inappropriate.
Regardless, I wish for you the strength to get through this. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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quote:Originally posted by LOA: Really, I need a hug.... but my family doesn't touch or hug at all, so that's not an option, and my friends are all out of town for the time being....
Sending yo a big goofy non-coporeal internet hug. ER....NOW!
Sucks that you're caught up in other people's fueds but the worst of it should blow over in a few days once most of the family leaves.
I say, see whoever you want to see: it's your family too!
Be well.
-------------------- Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering. -Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
Hey, Liz... If you actually manage to get yourself out to Seattle, I can promise you a couple of world-class (but not quite yet world-famous) hugs and backrubs from me and Jen. I know from dealing with her family something of the frustrations of broken relatives -- especially parents.
--Jonah
-------------------- "That's what I like about these high school girls, I keep getting older, they stay the same age."
--David "Woody" Wooderson, Dazed and Confused
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
I am sorry for your loss LOA. My Granddad (my Mum's Dad) died a few years ago and the funeral brought her brother and his family together with ours - needless to say that we all hate each other.
I have a small idea of what you are going through right now and I offer my sympathies and support. The only thing that I can say is: stick with the family that has always been there for you and that love you now and forever. Regardless of the diferences between you, you will always be there for one another in times of need. (Shrugs) We have nothing to do with my Uncle and his family and it doesn't bother us in the slightest - we have such rich life with the rest of the family that their absense is not felt.
Be there for your Grandma, and yourself and everything will work out alright in the end.
Oh yes - BIG HUG FROM ME!
Kindest Regards -AK
-------------------- If you cant convince them, confuse them.
Registered: Apr 2001
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I have a very small family so there shouldn't be too much cause for bickering - yet my parents' relationship is getting worse week by week and has been doing so for a long time. I often manage to calm things down between them but I can't be there all the time and I'm worried about arguments getting out of hand.
Still, that's nothing compared to what you have to go through.
I can't do anything else but also offer you a very BIG virtual HUG!
I sincerely hope that things will brighten up for you again very soon!
-------------------- Lister: Don't give me the "Star Trek" crap! It's too early in the morning. - Red Dwarf "The Last Day"
Registered: Nov 1999
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Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
Sorry to hear about your loss. Bad things that happen seem to open up old wounds that stretch from here to Hong Kong.
There may be ways to patch things up between you and your relatives. Let's hope your granddad's death wasn't in vain.
-------------------- "And slowly, you come to realize, it's all as it should be, you can only do so much. If you're game enough, you could place your trust in me. For the love of life, there's a tradeoff, we could lose it all but we'll go down fighting...." - David Sylvian FreeSpace 2, the greatest space sim of all time, now remastered!
Registered: Mar 1999
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