This is topic Why no one has seen Santa Claus... in forum Officers' Lounge at Flare Sci-Fi Forums.


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Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
Because he travels faster than the speed of light!

For him to visit every person in the world, he would spend less than 0.0000144 of a second on each one. I'm not sure how many families there are in the world, but combining times for people in families really don't make much difference.

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." - Jeffrey Richman, UB student
 


Posted by Enterprise (Member # 48) on :
 
Here's an idea: he has a cloaking device

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Brandon "Enterprise" Grasmick
Commanding Officer, USS Sovereign (NX-74222)

"Captain, the Sona crew are willing to negotiate a cease fire. It may have something to do with the fact that we have 3 minutes of air left."
-- Worf

Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges
-- In time of war the law falls silent.


 


Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
 
He doesn't visit every family though. Just those boys and girls who've been good this year. Duh.

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*gasp* "The pictures...they're...coming...alive!"
-Abe Simpson, on the miracle of the moving image


 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
And the ones whose parents can afford his bill... :-)

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"Their 'flower power' is no match for my glower power!"
-C. Montgomery Burns, The Simpsons
 


Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
 
And the ones who don't worship the dirty foreign gods.

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"I wish that everything went just as I wish everything would go."
--
John Linnell
 


Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
 
Or the clean ones either.

I think this subject has been adressed here: The Physics Of Santa.

This one I remember!

--Baloo

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That�s one of the things that bothers me about Star Trek - the faint whiff of Singapore wafts from the Federation. Clean, peaceable, industrious - with jail sentences for anti-social chewing-gum disposal.
--James Lileks
http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm


 


Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :
 
Cool! This site has rebuttals!

http://www.ucolick.org/~de/humour/santa.html

--Baloo

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That�s one of the things that bothers me about Star Trek - the faint whiff of Singapore wafts from the Federation. Clean, peaceable, industrious - with jail sentences for anti-social chewing-gum disposal.
--James Lileks
http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm

[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited December 08, 1999).]
 


Posted by Montgomery (Member # 23) on :
 
Doubtless he employs some form of quantum slipstream technology on his sled. Or indeed the reindeers...

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"I cannot live out that life.
That man is bereft of passion... and imagination!
That is not who I am!"


 


Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
Santa is Borg.

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Calvin: "No efficiency, no accountability... I tell you, Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a Universe." -- Bill Watterson


 


Posted by RW (Member # 27) on :
 

Santa is just a more understandable god for small children.
 
Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :
 
Or an alien.
 
Posted by Jeff The Card (Member # 411) on :
 
Or ... he has a transporter ...

(so shoot me ...)
 


Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
 
*smite*

That's for ressurecting aincient threads.
 


Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
 
Dang, Jeff, are you going through EVERY old thread in the whole archive?!
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
Or maybe he's completly seperate from normal time! Like, 1 second to us would be like 12 hours to Santa!

BTW, Omega, get on IM. I wanna argue with you some more!
 


Posted by Jeff The Card (Member # 411) on :
 
Obviously not, Omega. Would you like me to?
 
Posted by MIB (Member # 426) on :
 
ummmmm. ok. What's your IM screen name?

[ July 26, 2001: Message edited by: MIB ]


 
Posted by Nimrod (Member # 205) on :
 
Aw for crying out fuck, 1999??? That's, like, seeuuh twentieth century!!!!
 
Posted by Jeff The Card (Member # 411) on :
 
Who's IM?
 
Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :
 
MIB has a single-thread mind. If something someone says is not in direct response to the last thing that HE said, he can't handle it. But for the sake of clarity, Jeff was saying that he was not going through all old threads, and asking if I'd like him to.

MIB, have you gotten your official warning about being an idiot yet? Cause you REALLY need one.
 


Posted by Wes1701E (Member # 212) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sol System:
And the ones who don't worship the dirty foreign gods.


lol.
 


Posted by Nimrod (Member # 205) on :
 
Deity? Dirty?
 


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