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» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Community » Officers' Lounge » Why no one has seen Santa Claus... (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Why no one has seen Santa Claus...
Jeff Raven
Always Right
Member # 20

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Because he travels faster than the speed of light!

For him to visit every person in the world, he would spend less than 0.0000144 of a second on each one. I'm not sure how many families there are in the world, but combining times for people in families really don't make much difference.

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"Goverment exists to serve, not to lead. We do not exist by its volition, it exists by ours. Bear that in mind when you insult your neighbors for refusing to bow before it." - Jeffrey Richman, UB student


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Enterprise
Member
Member # 48

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Here's an idea: he has a cloaking device

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Brandon "Enterprise" Grasmick
Commanding Officer, USS Sovereign (NX-74222)

"Captain, the Sona crew are willing to negotiate a cease fire. It may have something to do with the fact that we have 3 minutes of air left."
-- Worf

Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges
-- In time of war the law falls silent.


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
PsyLiam
Hungry for you
Member # 73

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He doesn't visit every family though. Just those boys and girls who've been good this year. Duh.

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*gasp* "The pictures...they're...coming...alive!"
-Abe Simpson, on the miracle of the moving image


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TSN
I'm... from Earth.
Member # 31

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And the ones whose parents can afford his bill... :-)

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"Their 'flower power' is no match for my glower power!"
-C. Montgomery Burns, The Simpsons


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

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And the ones who don't worship the dirty foreign gods.

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"I wish that everything went just as I wish everything would go."
--
John Linnell


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Baloo
Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Member # 5

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Or the clean ones either.

I think this subject has been adressed here: The Physics Of Santa.

This one I remember!

--Baloo

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That�s one of the things that bothers me about Star Trek - the faint whiff of Singapore wafts from the Federation. Clean, peaceable, industrious - with jail sentences for anti-social chewing-gum disposal.
--James Lileks
http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Baloo
Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Member # 5

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Cool! This site has rebuttals!

http://www.ucolick.org/~de/humour/santa.html

--Baloo

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That�s one of the things that bothers me about Star Trek - the faint whiff of Singapore wafts from the Federation. Clean, peaceable, industrious - with jail sentences for anti-social chewing-gum disposal.
--James Lileks
http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm

[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited December 08, 1999).]


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Montgomery
Reigning Supreme
Member # 23

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Doubtless he employs some form of quantum slipstream technology on his sled. Or indeed the reindeers...

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"I cannot live out that life.
That man is bereft of passion... and imagination!
That is not who I am!"


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
First of Two
Better than you
Member # 16

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Santa is Borg.

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Calvin: "No efficiency, no accountability... I tell you, Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a Universe." -- Bill Watterson


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
RW
Senior Member
Member # 27

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Santa is just a more understandable god for small children.

Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
astronauts gotta get paid
Member # 239

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Or an alien.
Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Malnurtured Snay
Blogger
Member # 411

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Or ... he has a transporter ...

(so shoot me ...)

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www.malnurturedsnay.net


Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
Charles Capps
We appreciate your concern.
It is noted and stupid.
Member # 9

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*smite*

That's for ressurecting aincient threads.


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Omega
Some other beginning's end
Member # 91

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Dang, Jeff, are you going through EVERY old thread in the whole archive?!

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"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
MIB
Ex-Member


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Or maybe he's completly seperate from normal time! Like, 1 second to us would be like 12 hours to Santa!

BTW, Omega, get on IM. I wanna argue with you some more!


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