Flare Sci-Fi Forums: I need your dirt

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Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :

I realize how weird this sounds...

I need dirt.

Ok, I don't need dirt, my sister does. For a science project... And she needs it now.

If you live in the US, and want to send about 4 to 8 ounces of dirt to me, please drop me a mail at [email protected].
I need to know by tomorrow...

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"You shot him! You shot him dead!!"
"Well, he was attacking me with a banana!"

Posted by Montgomery (Member # 23) on :

Am I to take it you are attempting to provoke a trans-Atlantic mud-hurling contest?

*lobs sizable shlop of mud over the ocean...*

*Splats over North Carolina*

Chuckle...

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"No way man!
I've served my time in hell, and I ain't going back...
Not without a fight!"

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

Erm Monty, you do realise that it wasn't mud that you just lobbed across the ocean, don't you?

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Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

[This message has been edited by Orion Syndicate (edited March 01, 2000).]

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Granted, there are huge strides made in tecnology every day. Why, just last week, I picked up a piece of plastic, and could hear voices coming from it. Voices of people who weren't even in the room. Wow.

But, despite all this, I still can't quite work outhow to send dirt via e-mail. Stuffing it into the CD-ROM slot hasn't worked. Although my computer now makes a comforting crackling noise every now and then.

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"I'd give anything to be able to turn invisible. I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but use them to protect the girl's locker room."
Xander Harris

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

*L* Dirt, huh? Well... hehehe... are we talking dirt that's indigineous to the area, or dirt from a bag?

Being one that owns a greenhouse, fields, and a floral shop, the dirt possibilities in my life are ENDLESS! Dirt or sand? With or without rocks? Fertilized or unfertilized? Clean or dirty? Packed or unpacked? *grin* Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this... what do you think? And what is she going to DO with this dirt, anyway? *L*

Nevermind..... I may not want to know... hehe.....

~LOA

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No, you CAN'T see my picture!

Posted by Dat (Member # 302) on :

Clean dirt? Excuse my ignorance, but I thought dirt is dirty...hence the word dirty!

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7 alarm clock: "Do not touch me."
Dilbert: "Then how do I turn you off?"
7: "Believe me, I am plenty turned off."

Posted by Fructose (Member # 309) on :

I can imagen a couple ways to make dirt dirtier. I sure wouldn't want that stuff for my science project.

Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :

Plain, unaltered dirt. Not potting soil. With rocks.

No 'dirtying' of the dirt required. *L*

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"You shot him! You shot him dead!!"
"Well, he was attacking me with a banana!"

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Do you live in the Arctic or something? Why don't YOU have dirt?

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"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
-Mark Twain

Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :

Perhaps this is for multiple dirt samples from around the country...?

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Would it matter if it was CANADIAN dirt? After all, it's dirt that we always want to chuck at you Americans for quite a while.......

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Would I have to pay postage on this dirt?

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"Nobody knows this, but I'm scared all the time... of what I might do, if I ever let go." -- Michael Garibaldi

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

And here I thought Charles was going to start up a site to compete with thesmokinggun.com.

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"You are stupid and evil and do not know you are stupid and evil."
--
Gene Ray, Cubic

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Ohhhhh what if I sent you dirt from Australia! heh heh with lots and lots of nasties - I'm sure white ants, termits, wierd worms and parasites, not to mention I'm sure many larval forms of insects or amphibians!

LOL - I'm NOT going to do this of course - ECHELON - if you're listening...

I can't stand what has happen to Queensland - they brought Buffo marinas from Tahiti I think - to combat the cane beetle back in the 20s or 30s I think - well what happened to this Buffo marinas - or CANE TOAD - is that nothing can kill them (naturally) - if larger animals like dogs and feral cats eat them - the toads exude a nasty poisonous substance from glands at the back of their head...

so basically - they kill all the natural frogs and fauna and are spreading - rapidly - down the Queensland Coast - I think they are over the boarder into norther New South Wales - and west towards the Northern Territory - potentially threatening the Kakadu National Park...

Andrew

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"Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside your love." - Stand Inside Your Love, The Smashing Pumpkins

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

And you all thought that the toad bit in "Bart vs Australia" was just an amusing joke, and not representative of a very real problem which could wipe out all life down under.

Ob-la-de Ob-la-da

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"Sometimes I wish the planet would be scoured with cleansing fire. Other times I just wish Frank would be."
Sol System

Posted by Dane Simri (Member # 272) on :

As an expatriate (i.e. an American who lives outside of the US because they were the first ones to actually offer me a job) who deals with U.S. customs on a fairly regular basis, I feel obliged to point out that it is probably illegal for you to mail "foreign" dirt into the United States without some sort of permit. I'd hate to see Charles carted off by armed postal inspectors (these are the post office guys who they actually GIVE guns to) charged with illegally importing and traffiking foreign soil.

Your tax dollars hard at work, my fellow Americans!

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Dane

"Mathematicians have long held that a million monkeys banging on a million keyboards would eventually reproduce the collected wisdom of the human race. Now, thanks to the internet, we know this is not true." -- Robert Silensky

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Hang on, even your POSTAL workers are armed? Hang on First, the days of librarians packing heat can't be far off.

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"Sometimes I wish the planet would be scoured with cleansing fire. Other times I just wish Frank would be."
Sol System

Posted by Fructose (Member # 309) on :

I wouldn't be surprised if some already are considering what happens in schools these days.

Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :

No comment... *L*

'Tis a dead issue anyway. What little serious responses were received came through.

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"You shot him! You shot him dead!!"
"Well, he was attacking me with a banana!"

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

My dirt is on its way!

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"This is a brand new song...we haven't recorded it yet, but we're going to now." - John Flansburgh

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Hey, I said **I WASN'T** going to send you foreign soil... sheesh! Laugh please people...

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"Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside your love." - Stand Inside Your Love, The Smashing Pumpkins

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

I sent my dirt! *grin*

Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :

Andrew, what makes me laugh is that fact that at the state border you get stopped to check that you aren't bringing the toads back south. Just in case you have a box of them or something. Did they ever for a moment consider that those things may just say, hop across the border?

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Samaritan: "A good hot curry will help heal your wounds. That is, unless your religion forbids it".

Man: (Eyes growing wide) "No religion forbids a good hot curry".

-From some movie.

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Heh, yeah you have to be careful of some jerks doing such a thing - I think someone tried to in Newcastle - but I think the furtherest south I've heard that the cane toads have spread by themselves is to about Byron Bay and West to just over the NT/QLD boarder...

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"Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside your love." - Stand Inside Your Love, The Smashing Pumpkins

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Charles, you might want to check. It might be illegal to bring dirt from other states into California.

I remember going on vacation with my family, and when we came back (we lived in CA), we told the border guard we were just coming back from a day-trip to Nevada, because we really had a trunk-full of pecans a relative had given us.

--Baloo

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"Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonalds's makes you a hamburger."
--[Source unknown.]
http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Well, if they don't know he trafficking soil, there's no problem. And if they do come after him and say "You can't bring dirt across state lines", all he needs to do is look at them like they're insane and slowly hand the dirt over to them. :-)

I mean, come on! Every car the drives across the border is going to have dirt on it! Do they lift your car up, sterilize it, and set it back down on the other side? I don't think so!

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"Can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
-They Might Be Giants, "Your Racist Friend"

Posted by Fructose (Member # 309) on :

It has more to do with large quantities of it. If it has some organism that isn't indignous to the States in it then it could cause serious ecological damage. Just like the frogs in Auntraila.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Yeah, I can see someone accidently getting a frog mixed in with their dirt.

The only organisms that are going to be in the dirt will be mircoscophic. And they get transported all over the globe with breathtaking speed, so I wouldn't worry about it.

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"Sometimes I wish the planet would be scoured with cleansing fire. Other times I just wish Frank would be."
Sol System

Posted by Baloo (Member # 5) on :

Yes, but we're talking about California, here! They pass laws just to make a political statement!

Chico, in northern California, has a law on the books making it a misdemeanor to detonate a nuclear weapon within city limits. There's a $100 fine for violating it!

[Setting: we are within a darkened room, possibly a basement. Several men and women wearing black jeans, turtleneck sweaters, and berets are sitting around a table.]

Chief Terrorist (CT):: "Right! We have the nuke! Now all we need's a target."
Terrorist 2:: "Well, we can't detonate it in Chico, it's against the law!"
CT:: "What? When did they do that?"
Terrorist 3:: "I think it was in the late '70s or early '80s."
Terrorist 2:: "Yep! There's a $100 fine!"
CT: "A hundred bucks? How much money we got?"
Treasurer [looks at accounts book]:: "Not much, I'm afraid. That bomb cost almost everrything we had."
CT:: "That settles it, then. We'll destroy Sacramento instead."

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"Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonalds's makes you a hamburger."
--[Source unknown.]
http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

In Cupertino, CA, it's illegal to audibly count backwards in hexidecimal.

This also happens to be where Apple computers is headquartered.

Coincidence?

*WEG*

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You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend far too much time reading this sort of trash.

Posted by Aethelwer (Member # 36) on :

E237E6163656070256B696C60294...Hey! What are you..augh!

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"He's Satan. And not the good kind. I hate him. If there is a god, I hope Jebus has him fry in hell." - DT, in reference to me

Posted by Dat (Member # 302) on :

Hey, don't nuke Sacramento. I live there, remember? You can just destroy city hall and the capitol building. That should do it.

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7 alarm clock: "Do not touch me."
Dilbert: "Then how do I turn you off?"
7: "Believe me, I am plenty turned off."

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

If it is illegal to bring other state's soil into California, then technically, if I stand on the Nevada side of the CA-NV border, and if I casually kick dirt towards the CA side of the border, then I should be shot 200 times then hung........

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :

Not, frogs TOADS - nasty CANE TOADS - they eat the lovely bright green tree frogs

Although the Toads were DELIBERATELY brought to Australia to eat the cane beetle - which they DIDN'T do... you can accidently transplant frogs - there are some burrowing frogs and toads in the deserts of central Australia - and I assume other deserts around the world who burrow under the earth and only come out when it rains... I think that their eggs may also lie dormant - so you could theoretically in the US transplant frog eggs, toad eggs or insect larvae from one side of the country to another by accident...

Red back spiders are a problem in Australia - nasty and poisonous - small spiders - but now Japan are having problems with them! cause some people got them in their suitcases and went back to Japan after visiting!

also - you can't take fruit across the boarders of states here because of a fruit fly problem...

Adelaide and South Australia have problems with milipedes...

I'm sure the same thing occurs in the US... between neighbouring states wouldn't be a problem but it would if you took stuff from a few states away...

what is with the Killer bees in the US weren't they accidently introduced from South America?

Andrew

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"Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside your love." - Stand Inside Your Love, The Smashing Pumpkins

Posted by Jubilee (Member # 99) on :

I'd send dirt if I didn't have to pay the postage on it. Come to think of it, Charles, why don't you come to visit and we'll go get some dirt between... erm..... our other activities? *GRIN*

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"You say don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems.
You say you'd never let me fall, from hopes so high.
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie." - Fiona Apple

Posted by Simon on :

Is it true that Australia dealt with much of its rabit problem?