Flare Sci-Fi Forums: The Honda Curse.... or is it just me?

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Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

My car was stolen last night sometime between 11pm and 12:20 am. I know this, because it was stolen from my place of work, and I didn't get there 'til 11pm, and there was a cop arresting a man in the parking lot starting at 12:20. Unfortunately I didn't notice the car missing until almost 1:30.... good thing the cops were there already, right?

Anyway, I've had nothing but trouble from this car. Well, not from the car itself... I mean, it runs great, and it's dependable and all.... I've put over 16K on it! But I think God is trying to tell me I shoulda bought a Chevy or something, because now it's gone, and before that there were NUMEROUS attempts to get rid of it.

I bought the car in June. In July it was in the first car accident. $700 and a new hood/paint job later, it was good as new. Then came Sept's car accident. That one cost almost $5000 in repairs, and the car STILL isn't right, and neither am I. Then, just 2 weeks ago, I was in the 3rd car accident. This one was minor, but still shook me up. Now it's been stolen. I think it's the car. I HOPE it's the car. Because if it's not the car, then I'm seriously cursed, and there's nothing I can do about it...... I think I'll go hide now.

~LOA

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"Apprently, "pooty" involves deities and pretty girls in compromising positions..." ~TSN Jan. 18th, 2001

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Ha! I can top that! My flatmate was MUGGED last night! On our street!

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"Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement. Now it's more of a reincarnation model. If the worker learns enough in his current job, he can progress to a higher level of employment elsewhere."

- Dogbert

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Must be a scuzzbag holiday or something.

Person or persons unknown drove up my driveway with their lights off last night. But the dogs and I both heard them coming - it's hard to be quiet on reddog gravel - and when I turned on the floodlights, they sped down over the hill, not using the driveway, nearly clipping two trees, and escaped.

Didn't get their licence plate, darn it. And no time for a farewell shotgun blast.

Oh, well, you can't have everything.

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"My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q

Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :

Honda, eh?

Had
One
Never
Did
Again

Okay, so maybe I'm being a little harsh, but in my opinion, the Honda is hardly a dependable car. But considering your situation, I think it is pure bad luck, it could happen to ANY car.

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"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."

Posted by Dukhat (Member # 341) on :

You might want to think twice about the car being cursed. Think about it: You've been trying to get rid of the car for a while, and then all of a sudden it gets stolen. If the police can't find the car, it's out of your life and your insurance can reimburse you!

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Star Trek: Legacy

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

I used to have an Acura. What a piece of shit. Transmission dropped out the first month I had it. Ugh, bad car. Buy a Jeep.

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 6.83 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Forum Member Who Shall Be Nameless. 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001

Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :

Actually, if you want a good car that will last a long time with relatively low maintanence, get a Mazda. They're good cars. My driving school uses them, and we beat the shit out of them on a regular basis. And they still come back for more...

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"Lately I've noticed that everyone seems to trust me. It's really quite unnerving. I'm still trying to get used to it."
- Garak, "Empok Nor"

Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :

Jeff, just in case you don't know, Acura = Honda. Acura is the "luxury" division of Honda, that Honda just created in order to sell more cars. The Integra is the same car as the Civic, CL the same as an Accord, etc.

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Me: "Why don't you live in Hong Kong?"
Rachel Roberts: "Hong Kong? Nah. Oh, but we can live in China! Yeah, China has great Chinese food!"

(discussion with fellow classmate, 9/5/00)

Mustang Class Starship Development Project

Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :

Buy a Ford. Our family has never owned one that hasn't lasted more than 10 years

Did I mention I drive a 1978 FORD Fairmont?

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"President Bush. It's fun saying that. Go ahead, you try." - M. Lucinsky, Spectrum Editor

Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :

The way things are nowadays, new Fords are Mazdas, and vice versa. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Ford man myself.

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"Lately I've noticed that everyone seems to trust me. It's really quite unnerving. I'm still trying to get used to it."
- Garak, "Empok Nor"

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

Jeff, your car is older than most of these forumgoers.... You need to register it as a Historical Monument....

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"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

I actually want to get another Honda..... an Accord, actually..... late 90's, low miles, fully loaded.....

Or a 2001 Volvo S80..... but there's a bit of a price difference there.......... ;-)

~LOA

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"Apprently, "pooty" involves deities and pretty girls in compromising positions..." ~TSN Jan. 18th, 2001

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

The359,

Yes, I am well aware of the relationship with Acura and Honda. Having a Honda engine is a big clue The point I was trying to make, is that I sympathize with those having problems with Hondas.

And yes, the Eagle Talon and the Mitsubishi Eclipse ARE the same cars too.

Posted by The359 (Member # 37) on :

Actually, Eagle was a Chrysler division before they were broken up. Chrysler has been buddy-buddy with Mitsubishi since the 80s, and even have a firm control of their ruling board, but has never officially taken over the company (though there are rumors of DaimlerChrysler finally buying them out). Because of this influence Chrysler had over Mitsubishi, a lot of Chrysler and Mitsubishi cars were actually identical.

Eagle Talon/Plymouth Laser/Mitsubishi Eclipse
Chrysler Conquest/Mitsubishi something (I forget the name)
Chrysler Sebring/Chrysler Cirrus/Dodge Stratus/Dodge Avenger/Plymouth Breeze/Mitsubishi Galant
Dodge Stealth/Mitsubishi 3000GT (AKA Mitsubishi GTO)

Trust me, in the automotive industry, car company you can think of is either owned by someone else, created by someone else, or has a partnership with someone else. I actually have a chart of who owns who:

BMW Automotive Group:
BMW
Rolls-Royce
Rover
Mini
MG

DaimlerChrysler Automotive Group:
Chrysler
Dodge
Jeep
Mercedes-Benz
Mitsubishi
Plymouth
Smart

FIAT Group:
Alfa Romeo
Ferrari
Fiat
Lancia
Maserati

Ford Motor Company:
Aston Martin
Ford
Jaguar
Lincoln
Land Rover
Mazda
Mercury
Volvo

General Motors:
Buick
Cadillac
Chevrolet
GMC
Holden
Hummer
Oldsmobile
Opel
Pontiac
Saab
Saturn
Subaru
Vauxhall

Honda:
Acura
Honda
Isuzu

Hyundai:
Hyundai
Kia

PSA Group:
Citreon
Peugeot

Renault:
Infiniti
Nissan
Renault

Toyota:
Daihatsu
Lexus
Toyota

VW-Audi Group:
Audi
Bentley
Bugatti
Lamborghini
Porsche
Seat
Stoda
Volkswagon

Hard to even think of any company anymore that isn't owned by someone else...

------------------
Me: "Why don't you live in Hong Kong?"
Rachel Roberts: "Hong Kong? Nah. Oh, but we can live in China! Yeah, China has great Chinese food!"

(discussion with fellow classmate, 9/5/00)

Mustang Class Starship Development Project

[This message has been edited by The359 (edited February 01, 2001).]

Posted by Coddman (Member # 10) on :

*the following message uses U.S. currency and measurements.

I drive a 1981 Dodge Diplomat, and it's quite reliable. We got it about one year ago for $416 and it had 121,539 miles. (We've since put 5,219 miles on it)... for a "beater", it's been a great car.

Total times that it wouldn't start for us: 4 (dead battery; revenge of the dead battery; flooded it with too much gas; unknown issue with carb)

Money invested in repairs/upgrades to this date: ~$247 (Some new assorted hoses and small brake components, a radio, some stuff from the junkyard, a battery)

Money invested in petrol: Umm....318 cubic-inch 2bbl V8 engine, 2400 lb car, heavy right foot, what do you think? *L*

Total road trips: 2

Features: P/s, p/b, p/w, tilt, am/fm/cass, and those cool windshield wipers that you can set on a timer

For a beater from 1981 which deserved either rest or a kind elderly driver (not a new teenage driver) long ago, it's a damn good car. *L*

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Yeah, but is it stick?

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

I'm considering a Ford Focus hatchback.

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"My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Get a stick.

Er, ...shift. Stickshift, I mean.

Posted by Coddman (Member # 10) on :

No, it is an automatic. I was looking for a stick at the time, but Mom can't drive one very well, so I had to settle for an auto. Diplomats only came with the stick until 1980 anyway. (Diplomats remained basically unchanged except for the engine* and some grille mods from 1978 all the way to 1989....you can see Chrysler knew what they were doing with this car *L*)

*engine = choices in engine that you could get. At the start, you could choose a slant-six engine or a V8 (318 or 360), auto or standard, 2bbl or 4bbl... whereas after 1980 Chrysler chose their most popular engine and used it only (2bbl 318 V8)

[This message has been edited by Coddman (edited February 02, 2001).]

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Real men drive manual transmissions. Automatics are for pussies.

- Dogbert

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

LOL. That was me EXACTLY after I bought my first stick-shift.

Now, if you're driving an automatic Jeep Wrangler, you get my wrath. "What the FUCK IS THAT? Real Jeeps are stick you dip!"

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

My whole family swears by automatics. Nobody ever taught me to drive a stick.

Well, okay, my dad tried once. ONCE. Then he decided he liked his car better with gears.

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"My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

What's the point? If it gets you from point A to point B, why require unnecessary hand motions?

Hell, maybe turn signals are for wimps! Real men stick their arm out the window!

Oh, and power steering and brakes! Real men don't need those, either!

Who even needs a car?! Real mean ride horses!

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

To hell with traffic jams! RAMMING SPEED!!!

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"My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

When I was single I liked having my date closer than a stick will allow.... Plus I had other things to do than change gears all the time....

------------------
"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

I like to get my date to play with my stick.

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

I like to have sex with my Girlfriend, by sticking my erect penis into her open vagina, and moving it around a bit, and then EJACULALATING!!!!!

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"...screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" - Omega.

Irony ensues.

Free Jeff K

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Doesn't everyone love ejaculalating? Ejaculalalalalating is fun. Let's all ejaculalalalalalalalalalalalalate!

Ironic, eh? A thread started by Liz turns into a discussion about sex, and it's not even about her!

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

Um..... hello? Can you say GROSS???

You GUYS! I was trying to vent out my frustration at the fact that I'm now CARLESS and the ultimate SYMBOL of my freedom, independence, and moving on in life is now GONE. Gah..... now you're all whacking off and having sex and stuff. Gross. I hate boys.

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"Apprently, "pooty" involves deities and pretty girls in compromising positions..." ~TSN Jan. 18th, 2001

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Careless = Carless

Couldn't care less!

No, just joking...

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

In my defefence, I was responding to the inane comments and utterly non-clever ambiguousness regarding "I have to do other things with my stick than use it for driving", with my utterly non-clever retort. Puns are one thing, but if you're going to do them, at least try at a post Kindergarden level. Also, I do not enjoy Ejaculalating, and nor should you.

------------------
"...screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" - Omega.

Irony ensues.

Free Jeff K

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

Why not, doing it twice is much better....
------------------
"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

[This message has been edited by Ritten (edited February 03, 2001).]

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

Come again? 8)

- Dogbert

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

I nominate Liz to be the new Sex Goddess! Who's with me?

Rob:

Focus Hatchback? That's scary. I love those things. Especially the blue ones.

------------------
Disclaimer:
"All references to vices and of the supernatural contained in this game are for entertainment purposes only. _Over_The_Edge_ does not promote satanisim, belief in magic, drug use, violence, sexual deviation, body piercing, cynical attitudes toward the government, freedom of expression, or any other action or belief not condoned by the authorities."
- `OverTheEdge'

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

I love having sex with...

Ah, I'll just stop it. Isn't Ford Unconstitutional though? Like using a Presidents name, isn't that againt the law?

------------------
"...screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" - Omega.

Irony ensues.

Free Jeff K

Posted by Teelie (Member # 280) on :

Anyone else think UM is a jerk- off freak?

What's wrong with it? Let me guess, the Bible says it's bad, so it must be a sin and anyone who whacks off is going to hell. See er all of ya in hell then.

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Er, doesn't the Bible say Sex Goddessess bad? You know, thou shalt have no others gods before me? I guess after me is okay ...

No, seriously, when I'm on dates, if the girl I'm with drives stick, she'll shift for me. Er ... the clutch. I work the clutch/pedal with my left foot, she works the stickshift with her hand. It's fun. Really. Except when the doors are off and we take a turn too quick and fall out.

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Liz: Sorry about that. I think UM was just mocking JeffK, and I was just mocking UM's spelling mistake. Why Jeff started it is unknown. :-)

And, come to think of it, you're the one who brought up "whacking off", not any of us. :-)

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Anyone here have a CLUE as to what "shift" means over here?

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

We were talking about stick-shifts! I explained what I meant, and it's not my fault if you're all a bunch of perverts =)

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Yes, I know, and I'm just about able to comprehend the "humour" being waged here, but still...Answer my question.

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

To shift gears directly with a stick, instead of letting an automatic gearbox run the show.

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Jesus.

Yes, Yes, YES!!
We all know what "stick-shift" means re cars, etc.

But does anyone actually understand the expression "to shift someone"? (it's an Irish colloquialism, as if that of any help to YOU lot)

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Er. Similar to what happens to guys in prison?

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

You put a lot of emotions in your posts, GA.

To shaft someone means tricking someone into a bad deal. Is it the same thing?

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

"I think UM was just mocking JeffK"

Correct, but JeffKardde, NOT JEFFK.

There is a major difference. Being 1337 is not a crime.

------------------
"...screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" - Omega.

Irony ensues.

Free Jeff K

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Yeah, what is it with that?

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

JeffKardde: What, get electronics degrees? Make number plates? What..? Oh that. No. Not quite...

Nimrod: Yeah, that "secret stuff in MS WIndows" made me weep with laughter (still sniggering). Go figure.

And I suppose shifting could be viewed as someone (i.e. one of the participants) getting a "bad deal", but not in the same sense as outright "shafting". The intent is rarely malicious.

Lewd yes, sometimes romantic, but rarely malicious.

I should nearly put this in Forum Contests

UM: What. The. Fuck? You talking hex, boy-ee??

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

We probably should have a thread where regional colloquialisms are mentioned and have everyone else guess what it means.

A while back, we had great laugh watching as everyone tried to work out what the word 'bollocks' meant.

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Really!? Christ, that would have been hilarious. Was it lately, Orion?

P.S. do you know what I'm talking about, being a Brit?

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

I don't remember the "bollocks" one. There were people who didn't know what it meant? Hell, that one's even been used in Trek... *L*

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :

First penis jokes now ass jokes. Great.

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"Lately I've noticed that everyone seems to trust me. It's really quite unnerving. I'm still trying to get used to it."
- Garak, "Empok Nor"

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

It was well over a year ago, when our long departed friend, Monty, posted a thread about O'Briens exclamation in Times Orphan. A lot of people didn't know what it meant.

As for "shifting", I've heard the word used in a various number of contexts, but not in the context to which I think you're referring. Then again, I may be well off the mark.

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Post it anyway - you're the only one here that's even bothering with this.

Clue: It's not vulgar.

when O'Brien said bollocks. How'd that slip in? Ooh, Matron!!

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

O'Brien shouted the word 'bollocks' when he was trying to fix this time portal that Molly had fallen into. A console exploded, and then he was heard to shout "aah bollocks".

As for the meaning of the word 'shifting', is it an Irish colloquialism for kissing? That's one of the contexts that I've heard the word used anyway and from your descriptions, it's the only one that fits.

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Actually, I was laughing at when he said it, not asking when he said it. Thanks anyway

And YES!!!
You're exactly right! In UM parlance,

Shifting = French kissing = snogging!!

Here's your prize, a smoglagblodge full of Creme Eggs!!

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Or your own personal blarney-stone!

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

YES! I've won a er... what!? of creme eggs?

*wonders if this thread will disintegrate into the farce of previous creme egg threads*

And now for the next mission, what is a smoglagblodge?

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

[This message has been edited by Orion Syndicate (edited February 07, 2001).]

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Splunge!!!

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Hmm. I should have read this thread earlier,but I ignored it, because I thought that a car thread would turn into a "my penis is bigger than your penis".

Which it didn't. But this is almost as bad. What sort of car does Simon drive anyway? Concorde?

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"And Mojo was hurt and I would have kissed his little boo boo but then I realized he was a BAD monkey so I KICKED HIM IN HIS FACE!"
-Bubbles

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

Whatever it is, mine's bigger!

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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #1

What the fuck was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Just made the word up - don't freak the tits.

Next on tonight's agenda is Liam's new obsession.

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

I'm not sure how new this obsession is - I disappeared from here at about February last year and when I came back recently, there were all this mentioning of the size of Simon's todger.

How the hell did all this begin anyway? Why did all this begin? Why was it allowed to?

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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #1

What the fuck was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima

Posted by Quatre Winner (Member # 464) on :

It just kinda happened when Simon was wearing shorts and "sproing!" enormous dick happened.

Isn't that right, Liam?

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"Okashii na... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni."
(That's funny... my tears are falling. And I'm not sad at all.) - Quatre Raberba Winner

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Poor LOA - she's being totally neglected in this farce.

SOOOO, onto Liam's love of all things Blackpool-Towerian, or to be more specific, the alledged enormous size of Sol System's penis. I, for one, cannot claim to have encountered said phenomenon. To be perfectly honest, I don't want to.

God, I miss all the Transformer debates. Now we're reduced to this...

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

So Simon was dancing for Liam over a webcam linkup when the 'sproing' happened, right?

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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #1

What the fuck was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima

[This message has been edited by Orion Syndicate (edited February 08, 2001).]

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Or just dancing over Liam...

*shrinks*

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Yeah, Liz is getting ignored in her own thread. We should invlove her somehow...

Hey, Liz! Look out the window and tell us if you can see Simon's eclipse... :-)

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

I do not think that we should mock the almighty Simon "big mass" Sizer, lest he run us through.

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"And Mojo was hurt and I would have kissed his little boo boo but then I realized he was a BAD monkey so I KICKED HIM IN HIS FACE!"
-Bubbles

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

Come on, you guys... his penis can't be THAT big..... yeesh

~LOA

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"Apprently, "pooty" involves deities and pretty girls in compromising positions..." ~TSN Jan. 18th, 2001

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

I don't know whether to laugh or cry or write a satirical play in which you, yes, all of you! feature as characters in a big town called Stupid Pants Head.

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I will shout until they know what I mean.
--
Neutral Milk Hotel
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! Then, go insane!

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

...pants...head...

Today, we bring you Part II of "Use Your Imagniation". Simon mentioned pants & head in a single post. Weeping Laughter ensues.

------------------
"...screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" - Omega.

Irony ensues.

Free Jeff K

Posted by Orion Syndicate (Member # 25) on :

Can't be THAT big? Well if Liam's assertions are correct, then the US could fight an entire war with Simon's dick as the only weapon.

Another thing, some people over there seem to follow anyone who offers them a glimpse of the truth, so Simon could start a cult dedicated to his penis. He could come up with a new philosophy of life based on his alleged 'huge mass'. I'm sure he'd get many subscribers.

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The Worlds Ten Greatest 'Fucks' #1

What the fuck was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima

[This message has been edited by Orion Syndicate (edited February 09, 2001).]

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

I feel I must point out that LOA is apparently about the closest person to Simon, geographically. I think we should demand she make a pilgrimage to determine once and for all the exact measurements, and answer one question that has troubled the ages: are we talking length, girth. . . or both?

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"I rather strongly disagree, even if I share the love of Dick. Speaking of which, that would be the most embarrasing .sig quote ever, so never use it."

- Simon Sizer, 23/01/2001

Posted by Omega (Member # 91) on :

I don't know if Liz's religious beliefs would allow that.

Or her current physical and fiscal status, for that matter.

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

Egad!!
I came here to see if anyone had heard from Liz, and find this thread. Again, Egad!

------------------
All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.
Bob Dylan

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

I really should look into this religion thing, it souncd nice and safe and boring. My current lifestyle's focal points of alcohol, drugs and meaningless sex are beginning to have an adverse affect. I don't even remember how I got home last night, for Christ's sake. . .

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"I rather strongly disagree, even if I share the love of Dick. Speaking of which, that would be the most embarrasing .sig quote ever, so never use it."

- Simon Sizer, 23/01/2001

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Just remember to lubricate your Belief Engine before you go looking into religions. They mostly use Snake oil, which isn't good for your Paradigm Shift.

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"My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

With the what now? 8)

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"I rather strongly disagree, even if I share the love of Dick. Speaking of which, that would be the most embarrasing .sig quote ever, so never use it."

- Simon Sizer, 23/01/2001

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Don't forget to keep a close on your Rotating Manfibulator.

Grrr. I hit a fucking deer last night. Grrr.

------------------
Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 6.27 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with four eps posted)
***
"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Forum Member Who Shall Be Nameless. 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

That's terrible. It died immediately, I hope?

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

No.

It was 11:30 last night, I was coming from a delivery in Balt. County (sort of the country-ish part), came down a hill on a curve, and hit it (I'm assuming) with my right front bumper.

I don't even really remember what happened, except it jumped in front of me, I almost swerved into another car, and then I was in the church parking lot. I think I broke it's front leg (or both of them). It was trying to limp out of the parking lot and into the woods, and it wasn't having much success. The police showed up, and the officer told me that if Animal Control wasn't in the area, he'd wind up shooting the deer (but I left before that happened).

Amazingly, there was no damage to my Jeep! The bumper is AMAZING -- but, probably that I hit him at an angle and not direct on -- led to that.

God damn deer.

It was at least ten minutes from when I hit it to when the police showed up, and I know the cop was going to wait until both of us left before "finishing" it (another driver pulled over right after I hit the deer, and waited for the police with me).

[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited February 10, 2001).]

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

JeffK, the deer hunter.....

Glad our Jeep came through, some of the deer strikes from where I am from cause major damage.

------------------
"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

If I'd been a foot further up the road, it would've done more damage 'cuz he would've impacted at the front right wheel. That would suck -- as it was, the impact almost caused me to lose control (and since there was another car coming the opposite way, that woulda' blown chunks). GET A JEEP! Great for ramming your way through deer ...

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

Damn! You almost damaged your bumper! Holy fuck! Good thing that deer wasn't bigger, or you might have had a scratch! But you got him good! Serves him right for jumping in front of your - the man's - jeep.

God damn deer, thinking they have the right to be able to run around in the woods. What the fuck was he thinking. I hope that policeman shot him up good, and smacked him around a bit, toteach him a lesson. A DEAD LESSON!!!!!!1

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"...screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" - Omega.

Irony ensues.

Free Jeff K

[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited February 10, 2001).]

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Well, the deer population in Maryland is huge. The state has organized "Hunt-A-Thons" to go whack 'em to bring it under control, but there's a huge problem with people hitting deer, we got so many of them.

UM, I think you misunderstand. I'm shocked that I hit a deer and ONLY damaged my bumper. Most people who hit deer have to take their vehicles into the bodyshop.

Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :

JeffK, I think you misunderstand. I'm shocked that you hit a deer and ONLY worried about your bumper. Most people who hit deer have are at least a little shaken up at killing some large creature.

You = Major Liberal!

------------------
"...screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" - Omega.

Irony ensues.

Free Jeff K

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

I was shaken up by hitting the deer. Did I ever say I wasn't? If I'd been just a little bit father up the road, he would've slammed into the side of the engine, and might've knocked me into oncoming traffic. If I'd been a foot back, I would've hit him dead on. But ...

a) it wasn't my fault, I was going the speed limit, on a curve down a hill, and there was nothing I could've done differently (on my side) that would've prevented me from hitting the deer.

b) it was last night. I got over it.

[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited February 10, 2001).]

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Hey, LOA, you get your car back yet?

Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :

Jeeps don't kill deer... Liberals with Jeeps kill deer!

No, actually I almost hit one last week here, with my old Cougar.

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"My knowledge and experience far exceeds your own, by, oh, about a BILLION times!" -- Q

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Well, actually the cop killed the deer ...

Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :

No, the Industrial Revolution killed the deer.

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I will shout until they know what I mean.
--
Neutral Milk Hotel
****
Read three (three!) chapters of "Dirk Tungsten in...The Disappearing Planet"! Then, go insane!

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

How did all this get in here while I was away?

I wouldn't feel so hot if I had to execute an animal like that... And it's a responsibility if you're alone.

We have more moose up here, so a point blank crash usually means the death of all involved.

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Diane (Member # 53) on :

If wolves hadn't been mass-persecuted, you wouldn't have a deer problem in the first place.

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"Censoring the Internet is like putting a toll booth at the bottom of the ocean."

--Celia Pearce, The Interactive Book

[This message has been edited by Tora Ziyal (edited February 10, 2001).]

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

JeffK: Yeah, Liz got her car back. It's apparently a mess, but unfortunately driveable. Yes, I say "unfortunately", because that simple fact of driveability means she's screwed out of the insurance payoff she would have had, otherwise. This was Thursday night that they found it, and I haven't talked to her since, so I don't know any more details.

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

"I feel I must point out that LOA is apparently about the closest person to Simon, geographically. I think we should demand she make a pilgrimage to determine once and for all the exact measurements"

Why make a pilgrimage? From where she is, she'd only have to stick her head out the front door to get a look at it.

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"And Mojo was hurt and I would have kissed his little boo boo but then I realized he was a BAD monkey so I KICKED HIM IN HIS FACE!"
-Bubbles

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Hell, just taking the measuring tape from one end to the other could be considered a pilgrimage...

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by Teelie (Member # 280) on :

You people are sick. And there's no way- *sees part of Sol outside the window stretching on* I stand corrected.

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

I wouldn't feel so hot if I had to execute an animal like that ... And it's a responsibility if you're alone

Hot? Dude, if that deer had hit me a bit further down, he might've knocked me off the road. I wasn't feeling hot, I was feeling "oh my god I could've died" (it's a very narrow road).

Thank god for cell phones, because, honestly, the only thing I'd have to kill the deer with is my MagLite and I don't think I'd want to beat it to death with that. Trust me, I'd've preffered not to have hit the deer at all.

As for the "deer frozen in headlights" ... I don't know if that's what the deer does, or what the human reaction is afterwards. It certainly seemed to me like the deer was "frozen in my headlights" for a few seconds before we impacted, but I certainly don't think it actually "froze", just that I focused on its heads (my eyes, that is) before I hit it.

Posted by Lee (Member # 393) on :

So thst's why people have MagLites. I suppose the mini-pen one I keep in my car wouldn't do. And what was it about the idea of bludgeoning this poor creature to death with a torch that so disconcerted you? How traumatic it would be for you, having to listen to it's squeals of pain as you laid into it? Or were you concerned your torch might get damaged? 8)

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"I rather strongly disagree, even if I share the love of Dick. Speaking of which, that would be the most embarrasing .sig quote ever, so never use it."

- Simon Sizer, 23/01/2001

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Actually, I have a MagLite to help me find my way to homes who don't turn their house lights on

I think it'd be a bit painful for the animal to be bludgeoned to death by a flashlight, don't you? I know I for one would rather get shot then bludgeoned to death.

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

A friend of mine has a survival-knife in his car, but not primarily for deer. I worry, really...

What Geena Davis did was pretty good, though. Taking it by the horns and twisting, but it could get pretty nasty if the poor thing still stands, like you said.
Might take you a couple of minutes, especially if he's hefty, huh?

I'm sorry, this is horrible, but I thought of that "Jim Carrey"-movie.

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

No horns.

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

Yes, I got the car back... sorry, didn't realize anyone here had even noticed that it was missing

It was trashed on the inside. It had a dead batteryv that took a while to get started, and they aparently removed the computer in my car at least for a while, if they put it back at all. It hasn't been to a mechanic yet, so I don't know if the parts that are there are actually parts to the car, or just crap parts stuck in to make me THINK they didn't damage the car. There's some body damage that needs to be taken care of (grr!)and the car was taken on a 150 mile joy ride, according to the odometer. I got it back on Friday morning at 1am, and since then I've cleaned it up a bit, gotten it washed, and had the body work appraised. Monday I have to take it to a mechanic and have THAT checked out, then I have to take it to a stereo shop to have an estimate done on replacing all of the factory installed stereo equipment that was gone. Tues, my insurance company is appraising the value, and from there I'll get a check... but I still get to keep the car.

Anyone ever read the book by Stephen King called "Christine"? That's what I've named this car now, because no matter WHAT happens, it keeps coming back.... quite frankly, the car scares me at this point, but what can I do? Pleh.....

~LOA

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"Apprently, "pooty" involves deities and pretty girls in compromising positions..." ~TSN Jan. 18th, 2001

Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :

And on a side note.... Geographically, yes, I'm the closest to Simon.... but I'm not so sure that I want to spend time with the measuring tape like that

I AM, however, taking a trip to Seattle at the beginning of March.... *grin* Yay for Old Navy!!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Apprently, "pooty" involves deities and pretty girls in compromising positions..." ~TSN Jan. 18th, 2001

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

I had a car like that. I named it "Piece of Overpriced Shit" because Christine is too pretty a name to use on a Piece of Overpriced Shit.

Sell it! Sell it! You got a Carmax up there?

[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited February 11, 2001).]

Posted by Curry Monster (Member # 12) on :

Jeff, what tyres do you have on the wrangler?

I'm not going by brand, but class. HT, PT, AT or MT?

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Re: Russia in WWII

"Hey, we butchered Poles! Thats OK."
- DT.

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

I have a buddy who has killed four deer with his car. His brother has been hunting for years and has never got one. Deer go out of their way to get in front of PEP's cars. He was driving south on Kanawha blvd, which has an interstate running beside it on one side, and the Kanawha river on the other. A deer jumped the burm beside the road and dived into the side of his car. Mangled his dodge colt from the headlight to the back bumper. He talks about getting a rifle and evening the score during hunting season.

------------------
All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.
Bob Dylan

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Not quite sure whatcha mean, Daryus. I've got the smallest tires the dealership will put on Jeeps (which are still rather sizeable). I plan on upgrading to something a bit bigger next fall. Um, I'll go check next time I go out to my Jeep. Do you drive a Jeep? They're great vehicles. I highly recommend them.

Deer are really a problem here in the DC/Baltimore area. There have been quite a number of accidents caused by deer running across the highways during rush hour. I think more of 'em get killed hitting cars then during hunting season. The state has sponsered "hunt days" specificly to cull the deer population, but those don't work too well. PG county puts some cops with silenced rifles in the parks some nights to try and get some. Fucking deer. Grrr.

Speak of the devil! I just got a "4-wheel drive" magazine, so I'm going to go look for a grill to mount on the front of my Jeep. Friday night kind of drove home the point that I need something big and bulky to knock deer (or little children) out of the way with.

[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited February 12, 2001).]

Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :

Kosh, your mate has killed 4 deer, and he wants to get a rifle and even the score in hunting season? By doing what? Shooting car drivers?

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"And Mojo was hurt and I would have kissed his little boo boo but then I realized he was a BAD monkey so I KICKED HIM IN HIS FACE!"
-Bubbles

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

No, you sillybilly! Hunters of course!

He just have to call out "Viagra!! Come get your fresh Viagra!!", and then all will be well...

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

Apparently the deer managed to smack the side of the Jeep a bit too ... gotta get my left side turn signal cover replaced.

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

quote:

Kosh, your mate has killed 4 deer, and he wants to get a rifle and even the score in hunting season? By doing what? Shooting car drivers?

He wants to pay back the deer population for fucking up his cars. Two of them hit his Colt, and two hit his old Isuzu pickup. Both are cheap made, and took much damage.

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I DO NOT ENJOY BOTH GENDERS!!!
Ultra Magnus

Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :

Less than the deer, I'd bet...

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My new year's resolution is the same as last year's: 1024x768.

Posted by BlueElectron (Member # 281) on :

Sorry to bring up an old topic:

How can Rolls-Royce and Bentley be owned by two different company, aren't they the same thing?

and damn, look at Fiat, they owned like two of the finest sport car labels in Europe!

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If a diamond is a woman's best friend, why does a man has to settle for a dog?

Posted by Nim (Member # 205) on :

Not at all, there are many design differences between the two.
Plus, I don't think a bentley-owner could get a bentley-mechanic to travel to his location and fix his car if it broke down...

------------------
Here lies a toppled god,
His fall was not a small one.
We did but build his pedestal,
A narrow and a tall one.

-Tleilaxu Epigram

Posted by Gaseous Anomaly (Member # 114) on :

Yep, Fiat's are really good cars. just because they haven't got 4-6 litre engines and are actually economical to drive doesm't mean they are bad cars.

We have had a Ritmo, a Regata, two Tempra's and a Marea. Lovely cars.

Re: Deer hitting cars
I thought that one could put revolving blades on the front and sides of one's car in certain states. Or was that flamethrowers?

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"Sack me!? I MADE the BBC!!"

Posted by Ritten (Member # 417) on :

Both actually, that way you can slice and cook the vension all at once....

------------------
"One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking" Nugget
Star Trek: Gamma Quadrant
Star Trek: Legacy
Read them, rate them, got money, film them

"...and I remain on the far side of crazy, I remain the mortal enemy of man, no hundred dollar cure will save me..." WoV

Posted by Kosh (Member # 167) on :

quote:

Less than the deer, I'd bet...

Strangly enough, the last one walked away from it. Speed limit is about fourty in the area, and the deer bounced off the car, and took off. Probably sore the next morning though.

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I DO NOT ENJOY BOTH GENDERS!!!
Ultra Magnus

Posted by Malnurtured Snay (Member # 411) on :

My deer tried to walk off. It didn't make it far, not being able to stand on its front legs and all. Poor thing...

Daryus, do you own a Jeep?