The President has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the Islamic people cannot stand nudity, they consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife. Tonight at 7:00, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out the terrorists. The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you. God bless America.

Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.
I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. So it must be true.

Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in West Virginia. Police advise earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained.

The West Virginia State Police stated that the terrorists Bin Loafin, Bin Drinkin, and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues.

The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the state. Police are confident that anyone who looks like bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community.

Sept. 11 this bum, who worked at the World Trade Center, had a breakfast meeting. What he was having, however, wasn't eggs. He was with his mistress. I guess you might call him an early riser. His wife tried to reach him. He finally answered his cell way after 10 in the morning. Panicked, she screamed: "Where are you!" Responding to the angst in her voice he replied testily: "Well, where do you think I am? In the office."

Oy.......
 

Surely that's gay people playing it straight?
 

I like this station in part because it's fun to watch some of the stunts the producers and news directors make the reporters and anchors go through. This one unfortunate anchor had to do a weekly series of reports called "How to Survive." They tried to drown him in a car in the Gulf of Mexico, they maced him, they let viscious guards attack him, and other stuff. He would up leaving after a couple years.