Topic: The Naked Truth, (and other humorous bits.....)
Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
This isn't meant to offend anybody, but I was browsing Snopes and found these bits of strange humour:
The President has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the Islamic people cannot stand nudity, they consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife. Tonight at 7:00, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out the terrorists. The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you. God bless America.
Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business. I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. So it must be true.
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in West Virginia. Police advise earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained.
The West Virginia State Police stated that the terrorists Bin Loafin, Bin Drinkin, and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues.
The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the state. Police are confident that anyone who looks like bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community.
Sept. 11 this bum, who worked at the World Trade Center, had a breakfast meeting. What he was having, however, wasn't eggs. He was with his mistress. I guess you might call him an early riser. His wife tried to reach him. He finally answered his cell way after 10 in the morning. Panicked, she screamed: "Where are you!" Responding to the angst in her voice he replied testily: "Well, where do you think I am? In the office."
Oy.......
-------------------- "And slowly, you come to realize, it's all as it should be, you can only do so much. If you're game enough, you could place your trust in me. For the love of life, there's a tradeoff, we could lose it all but we'll go down fighting...." - David Sylvian FreeSpace 2, the greatest space sim of all time, now remastered!
posted
It also didn't mention the Elizabethian period of British history. How can these oversights be allowed to continue?
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
Not to mention that there were only five straight people, all of whom could easily have been closeted gays, and therefore don't count! We need more straight people to be explicitly mentioned!
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
What? There are plenty of straight people playing it gay...look at the military.
-------------------- "It speaks to some basic human needs: that there is a tomorrow, it's not all going to be over with a big splash and a bomb, that the human race is improving, that we have things to be proud of as humans." -Gene Roddenberry about Star Trek
Registered: May 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
What's funny is that I noticed one of the local news stations has been doing a "Fact of Fiction" for a couple weeks now over urban legends concerning the events of September 11th and the situation in Ahganistan and the current Anthrax skills. It seems that the reporter doing these reports is getting the story leads as well as the information from Snopes. And it's not even sweeps month, either.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
At least the reporters here in the US will not take their clothes off for sweeps...
-------------------- "It speaks to some basic human needs: that there is a tomorrow, it's not all going to be over with a big splash and a bomb, that the human race is improving, that we have things to be proud of as humans." -Gene Roddenberry about Star Trek
Registered: May 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
"What? There are plenty of straight people playing it gay...look at the military."
Surely that's gay people playing it straight?
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
posted
Actually, I wish some of the reporters on that particular station would take their clothes off. But I'll save that discussion for another time and place.
I like this station in part because it's fun to watch some of the stunts the producers and news directors make the reporters and anchors go through. This one unfortunate anchor had to do a weekly series of reports called "How to Survive." They tried to drown him in a car in the Gulf of Mexico, they maced him, they let viscious guards attack him, and other stuff. He would up leaving after a couple years.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
