Makes your head spin, doesn't it? But then, if you think about it more than you should, there's a comedic formula in there somewhere. Like pairing up Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Will Smith and Jesus would be my pick.
Posted by Alshrim (Member # 258) on :
Mel Gibson and Julia Child?
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
What? Is this like "The Mask 2: The Tuxedo"? Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
Arnold Schwartzenegger and that little girl from "Signs."
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Snay and Omega starring in Night of the Kinky Frat Boys IX would be my pick.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Siggy,
Run before I kill you, roast you in the oven, then dip you in buffalo hot sauce.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Big words from a man who relies on a Jeep to do his hunting. Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I've got a .357, too.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
You don't scare me. You have yet to follow through on any of the previous threats of bodily harm you've directed towards me.
Sorry, but I'm still alive and in good health. I just can't take you seriously anymore. Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
I don't know Siggy, seems like you may have stumbled on to Snay's wet dream and he's pretty defensive about it.
Posted by Eric Cartman (Member # 256) on :
You can't kill the Appointed Master of Interrogation! Siegfried's a mighty Pompatus, and he's armed with the Matrix of Love�!
I been away too long.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I suspect that Snay may soon make a reference to Enrique Iglesia's song "Escape." Something along the lines of I can run, I can hide, but I can't escape his love. Now that's a scary thought.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
...while they're greased up in 'buffalo hot sauce'? A scarier thought?
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Much, yes.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Now I'm going to have to make a special trip to Texas to F*** YOU UP!
No.
I'll wait until you're not suspecting anything. And then pies will rain from heaven as if God **Itself** is pissed at not making any money at a damn BAKE SALE!
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I thought you didn't believe in God? My, how things change.
By the way, still ain't taking you seriously. Posted by Eric Cartman (Member # 256) on :
Many a deer made that mistake.
None lived long enough to regret it.
Posted by Magnus de Pym (Member # 239) on :
After that God/Bake Sale thing, I can die satisfied.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Wouldn't the raining down of pies from the heavens be a good thing?
Posted by Grokca (Member # 722) on :
quote:Wouldn't the raining down of pies from the heavens be a good thing?
That would depend on the terminal velocity of a pie.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I said as *IF* ... as *IF* there were a God. Instead, it will just be my devilish powers.
UM: that's what you said after your first successful masturbation, I'd wager.
Posted by Magnus de Pym (Member # 239) on :
Sure. The, uh, "fuck?"
That was hurtful. Sad.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Liar.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
quote:And then pies will rain from heaven as if God **Itself** is pissed at not making any money at a damn BAKE SALE!
Ummm... sure you did. And I, too, would like to know how raining pies is a bad thing.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Oh, they're made of sheet metal with an exploding core.
That = VERY BAD THING
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
quote:Oh, they're made of sheet metal with an exploding core.
But that's not a pie. That's a bomb. So you lied about God dropping delicious pies on us, huh? Never get my hopes up again.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
No, it's a bomb pie. They're all the rage in heaven these days. Plus, its topped with whipped cream.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Now you're really reaching. Besides, whipped cream is a forbidden food in heaven because of all its wonderfully kinky sexual properties.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I reach quite a bit. Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Then remove the plastic extension piece and be happy with what God gave you.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I reach ... with the SWORD I SHALL USE TO SLICE OPEN YOUR STOMACH!
BTW: Colonel Condom? What the 'fuck'? Talk about someone who liked his sheep.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
And, to complete this circle, you don't scare me with your fancy capital letters and threats of bodily harm. I can no longer respect you because you never follow through on any them.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I KNEW IT! You didn't respect me in the morning, either. Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Well, what do you expect? You sucked. When push came to shove, you wilted, dude.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I'm sorry, I just wasn't comfortable with wearing that tu-tu. It felt too forced. And YOU were the one who refused to wear handcuffs, so you just remember THAT why don't you not?!
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about my prize crop of marigolds that you killed. How you managed to kill I have no idea, because the little bastards are like cockroaches.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Ooohhhh ... the marigolds, right.
Well, I er, pulled my Jeep up onto the lawn, and they all just sorta wiltered away ...
(Someone in years to come is going to find this thread completely by random and resurrect it just for fun -- jus' you watch).
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
The marigolds probably thought it would be better to commit suicide than suffer the pain that your Jeep inflicted on all of the deer you "encountered" on your drives.
And five bucks says that the resurrector will be you.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
To point one: Yes, I assume that too. Or they fainted away at the sight of me in a tu-tu with a weed-cutter in one hand and a bottle of "weed killer" in the other.
To point two: Eh, okay. Payment over PayPal. Resurrection counts as any post after the thread has been dormant for two (2) (II) months.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I'm not actually going to make a bet with you. You're instructions are so fuzzy that you'll have appropriate wiggle room to get out of it. See the thread next door for examples.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
FUZZY?! FUZZY?!
They're very simple! If I make the initial post to resurrect this thread after a two-month period from the LAST posting, I pay you $5. If it's someone else, YOU pay me $5.
What the hell is so fuzzy about THAT? Okay, fine, let's make it two YEARS, with a void on the bet if *I* post the initial response after the first two months the thread has been dead. Good with that?
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
No. I can't trust a person with money if he needs four jobs in three places to make payment on an apartment that is the size of my cat's litter box and on a Jeep that is single-handedly wiping out the woodland creature population of New England.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Er. Three jobs at four places, Siggy.
Carrabba's Italian Grill (going up tomorrow to apply) ...
Papa Johns at the Cockeysville and Jacksonville stores.
Towson University's English Department's Writing Lab.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
You said it was a computer lab in the other thread.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
AAAARGH.
The writing lab has COMPUTERS. This IS the YEAR 2002 YOU KNOW! PEOPLE DON'T WRITE ON TYPEWRITERS ANYMORE!!!!!!!
(Well, I'm sure some do, but they're certainly no longer mainstream).
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Your shift key seems to be getting stuck there an awful lot. Maybe you should clean your keyboard once in a while?
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I'll clean it with YOUR BRAIN!!!!!
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
My brain will just create a bigger mess, you know. All the blood and neurons and stuff.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Your brain is a sponge, a big ooey gooey sponge.
Posted by Balaam Xumucane (Member # 419) on :
quote:Originally posted by Siegfried: No. I can't trust a person with money if he needs four jobs in three places to make payment on an apartment that is the size of my cat's litter box and on a Jeep that is single-handedly wiping out the woodland creature population of New England.
Sorry, Snayer. Winner: Siggy!
Posted by Magnus de Pym (Member # 239) on :
Surely you two have heard of, whatever the kids are calling it these days, "instant messaging?"
While this is entertaining as Jesus, though.
But two overran threads, is like, similar to those bugs that infest your house and then attack you while you sleep.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I'll admit that part of this was a burning desire to alleviate the boredom that I was experiencing at the time. And in my defense, Snay refuses to acknowledge my presence on AIM or ICQ.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I do?
Well, a) I rarely use ICQ ... b) you have AIM? Since when?
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
You are shit, Jeff.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I know you don't use ICQ since I never see you on it, and I have had AIM for about two years now. Topher told me to get it so that he could see me ship sketches easily.
I just want to be loved; is that so wrong?
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Liam: eh?
Siggy: I love you.
Posted by Ace (Member # 389) on :
Wow. I am impressed, as probably many other lurkers out here are.
::grabs a bowl of popcorn::
Please continue! Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Ace, STFU, strip naked, and send UM some photos of your bare hairy ass*. While you're at it, smear popcorn butter over your chest and do some jumping jacks.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
We are waiting for the footnote.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
*The first person to respond to this post must give oral sex to themselves.
So, Simon, g'luck with that. Don't break your back.
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Surely you constitute the first response to the footnote, then?
Incidently, Clerks seems to be quite cheap these days, as DVDs go. Who dodged a bullet by waiting? ME!
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I dodged a bullet by not buying it on DVD. Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
In the span of 24 hours, both Jeff and Mike have professed their love for me. As flattering as that may be, it does nothing but further my belief that God is still playing with me. Or God's telling me to be a homosexual. It's one of the two.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
I hate to break this to you, but I don't love you in a "gee, I wanna get you naked" kind of way, but rather, a brotherly sort of love.
I would make a joke about tits, but you'd kill me. So I won't.
Posted by Eric Cartman (Member # 256) on :
I was thinking more along the lines of Platonic love.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I can't kill you. I have no guns and no Jeep. And kindly leave my bodacious ta-tas out of this.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
quote:No. I can't trust a person with money if he needs four jobs in three places to make payment on an apartment that is the size of my cat's litter box and on a Jeep that is single-handedly wiping out the woodland creature population of New England.
Well, just to clarify:
a) my apartment is bigger than a cat's litter box (and actually has a cat's litter box in the bathroom) ...
b) I DO NOT NOW NOR HAVE I EVER LIVED IN NEW FUCKING ENGLAND.
I HAVE AT NO POINT IN TIME KILLED ANY FUCKING WOODLAND CREATURE IN THE GEOGRAPHICAL AREA WHICH IS NEW FUCKING ENGLAND. FUCK!
FUCKING MARYLAND IS SOUTH OF NEW FUCKING ENGLAND. SO IS PENNSYL-FUCKING-VANNIA, NEW FUCKING JERSEY, AND NEW FUCKING YORK! FUCK!
WHY DO FUCKING PEOPLE NOT TEACH WHERE NEW FUCKING ENGLAND IS ANYMORE? FUCKING OMEGA THOUGHT FUCKING MARYLAND WAS IN NEW FUCKING ENGLAND TOO! FUCK!
WHAT THE FUCKING BLOODY "FUCK?"
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
I blame it on the Texas education system, which does consider Pennslyvannia, Maryland, Delaware, and New Jersey to be part of the New England states.
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Oh, I see, so all those are New England states and New York just gets left out? Poor New York ... so cold ... so cold indeed ...
New England is: Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachussets, Vermont, Maine.
Now you know.
AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!
Posted by Magnus de Pym (Member # 239) on :
I'm not sure I want any pictures of bare, hairy asses. Why was it assumed I like pictures of bare, hairy asses. I don't recall saying I like pictures of bare, hairy asses.
An adjective must go, at least.
Posted by Captain-class, Mike-variant (Member # 709) on :
so just hairy asses? Not completely bare?
New England could so kick all of your hairy asses! Now you know! Totally!
And Siggy, I think that our relationship wouldn't work unless YOU did the cooking.. But I do still love you. Actually I was just itching to put one person on my never used ICQ list. Does anybody still use it?
Posted by LOA (Member # 49) on :
heheh.... he said "Fuck"....
~LOA
Posted by Charles Capps (Member # 9) on :
No, he said fuck.
Posted by Captain-class, Mike-variant (Member # 709) on :
no, he said "FUCK".
Posted by Magnus de Pym (Member # 239) on :
Stickler.
"FUCK?"
Posted by Captain-class, Mike-variant (Member # 709) on :
THE "FUCK?" INDEED!!
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
John F. Kennedy. Great taste in women; bad taste in meat.
Posted by Magnus de Pym (Member # 239) on :
And motorcade routes.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
quote:Oh, I see, so all those are New England states and New York just gets left out.
Texans don't like New York. It probably goes at least to the Pace Picante Sauce commercials of the 1980s. We just don't like 'em, so screw 'em.
However, the state Republicans running for office this year sure have been putting Hillary Clinton in their political ads a lot lately. So maybe we have an odd fascination with 'em while hatin' 'em.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Jeff: You complain about their leaving New York out, but then you leave out New Hampshire?
Posted by Snay (Member # 411) on :
Hampshire smampshire.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
My nan lives in Hampshire.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
My Bonnie lies over the ocean. Tellin' fibs about bodies of water, yes.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)