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Posted by Starbuck (Member # 153) on :
 
OK, my new competition...
Things You'll NEVER Hear At A Star Trek Convention

Here are a couple to get you going...
"Hey, William Shatner was right. We should get a life!"

[to the barman] "Jim Beam me up, Scotty!"

"Guys, what are we doing here? There's a strip joint down the road!"

"You want HOW MUCH for that tacky looking uniform/prop/piece of old memorabilia???"

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"Replicate some marmalade, Commander - helm control is toast!"

 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
"I wonder if Darth Maul or Qui-Gon Jin will show up."

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"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Bill Peterson, Football Coach
 


Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :
 
*To a klingon dressed fan*

"You're Grand-Mother is the Grand Nagus, and your mother dresses you funny !!"

Or

"You have one-mother-of-a zit on your forehead!!!"

or

"Is that a dagger under your belt, or are you just happy to see me!?"

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-There can be only Nine !! ..mmm.. maybe 10 !!

- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax:


 


Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :
 
"I'm stumped. What is the maximum crusing speed of the Enterprise with low dueterium while in a sigma ion nebula being bombarded with photons?"

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I bet when Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would
always end up saying "Don't forget the big heavy eyebrows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky eyebrows too, and then they would get mad and eat the snowman.

-Jack Handey


 


Posted by Montgomery (Member # 23) on :
 
"Too much television is bad for the eyes"

"Who's that American person on the stage?"

"My whole family loves it. In fact, everyone I know does!"

"Harve Bennett had a great idea for ST:VI!"

"I'd like you to meet my girlfriend here.."

"Well, football is my first love"

"I don't own a VCR"

"DAMN! That's a sharp uniform you got there my friend!"

------------------
"You don't need eyes to see; you need VISION"
- Faithless / Reverence



 


Posted by Mythril (Member # 286) on :
 
"Star trek is the one with Luke Skywalker, right?"

Rabid fans procede to beat the shit out of him.

------------------
I am not responsible for the stupidity of other people.


 


Posted by Fabrux (Member # 71) on :
 
"The Defiant is 120 metres long."

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"Move your mind, it's gonna cost you nothing"
-Eiffel 65, Move Your Body

 


Posted by Elim Garak (Member # 14) on :
 
"My whole family loves it. In fact, everyone I know does," actually applies to me on at least the "like" -- or at the worst, "tolerate" -- level.


"My favourite part was when the series creator guy turned off all the lights."
 


Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
 
"Space, the final frontier, in a galaxy far far away......"

------------------
I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation
 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
"Actually, I just came here for the food."

------------------
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Bill Peterson, Football Coach
 


Posted by Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs (Member # 239) on :
 
Laetitia Casta: No, he's mine!

Rebecca Romijn: No, he's too good for you, he's mine!

Me: Ladies, there's enough of this manly captain to go around! Who's up for a little handling of the 'Captain's Log'?

------------------
I bet when Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would
always end up saying "Don't forget the big heavy eyebrows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky eyebrows too, and then they would get mad and eat the snowman.

-Jack Handey


 


Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
 
"Gene who?"

"Hey, has anyone ever noticed how Captain Kikr always seemed to get the girls?"

"What a wonderful singing voice that Shatner has!"

------------------
Col. Maybourne: "Teal'c... It's good to see you well."
Teal'c: "In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you."
-Stargate SG-1: "Touchstone"
 


Posted by Mikey T (Member # 144) on :
 
"So Mr. Shatner, how much does it cost to dry clean that tribble on your head?"

"I take it that your wife Genie made home dinner for the last 7-8 years Mr. Frake?"

"Oh my God, you gained weight since I saw you in Generations!!"

"So where are the adult toys at?"

"Wait a second, this isn't the NRA Convention..."

------------------
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling, I need to walk in
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

-Backstreet Boys
 


Posted by Xentrick (Member # 64) on :
 
"To be honest with you, these starship blueprints aren't canon."

"I'll let you have that prop tricorder for half the tagged price because it's wildly inaccurate, poorly made, and generally a piece of crap."

"I have thirty more binders of Brent Spiner snapshots just like this one at home. Yes, I am stalking him."

"Wow, those guys in the Starfleet uniforms are in shape. They must work out at the gym a lot."

"You know, I just can't get enough of fans in T-shirts."

"That home-made Klingon head piece is almost the color of your face. Congratulations."

"My name is John Smith. I'm in Starfleet, but I'm not an officer, in Intelligence, Weapons, Starship Design, or The Marines."

"I hope there's a slide show."



 


Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
 
"Today's Special Guest at our Star Trek Convention is.......... Brannon Braga!!!!!!"

------------------
"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."
 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
"Are you kidding? Shatner did much better in TJ Hooker than he did in Star Trek!"

------------------
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to acheive it through not dying."
Woody Allen
 


Posted by Saltah'na (Member # 33) on :
 
At a Bar:

"Could I have a Black Hole?"

------------------
"My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht."
Psychiatrist: "Again."
 


Posted by First of Two (Member # 16) on :
 
Actually, my girlfriend and I HAVE attended conventions together. Last year in Pittsburgh, we saw Scarlett Pomers and Alice Krige. Julie, with her encyclopedic knowledge of movies, impressed Alice by knowing some of the more obscure movies she was in. It was cool.

------------------
Calvin: "No efficiency, no accountability... I tell you, Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a Universe." -- Bill Watterson



 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
$5.50 for a bottle of water? You know, for hosting this Star Trek convention, I think I should pay more than that.

------------------
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to acheive it through not dying."
Woody Allen
 


Posted by Quagalo on :
 
Prepare to Fire

will never be said on Voyager. Only on DS9 TNG or TOS. Voyager always talks their way out of battles
 


Posted by Alshrim Dax (Member # 258) on :
 
ME to Shatner: "Hi Bill ... Look here .. I got one .. Now.. can you sign my copy of Life Magazine !!"

or

To Walter Koenig: "AHH MAN , I loved you in B5 ... You sucked as the russian guy tho'. BTW .. where did your accent go?"

"What do you mean this isn't authentic Vulcan Blood, i payed $50 bucks for this vial !!!!!"

"Mr. Frakes,,, could you autograph my light-saber?"

"Mr. Dorn ... I loved the scene when you threw the emperor over the edge of the balcony .. you rock!!"

------------------
-There can be only Nine !! ..mmm.. maybe 10 !!

- Alshrim Dax
The Other Dax:


 


Posted by Black Knight (Member # 134) on :
 
I thought that this was things that you *WOULDN'T* hear at a star trek convention.

------------------
Navigator-"Heading, Sir?"
Kirk-"Out there...somewhere...out thatta-way."--Star Trek: TMP



 


Posted by Starbuck (Member # 153) on :
 
OK, time's up!!
And the winners are...

Ultra Magnus for his Rick Sternbach/Mike Okuda non-quote...

quote:
"I'm stumped. What is the maximum crusing speed of the Enterprise with low dueterium while in a sigma ion nebula being bombarded with photons?"

TSN must be tone deaf!

quote:
"What a wonderful singing voice that Shatner has!"

Xentrick - have you bought fan-built props before?

quote:
"I'll let you have that prop tricorder for half the tagged price because it's wildly inaccurate, poorly made, and generally a piece of crap."

and finally, Alshrim Dax, who made me laugh... Sounds like something you'd hear at a Trek convention on The Simpsons...

quote:
"You have one-mother-of-a zit on your forehead!!!"

------------------
"Replicate some marmalade, Commander - helm control is toast!"

 


Posted by Jeff Raven (Member # 20) on :
 
I thought Black Night had a point :P

------------------
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
Woody Allen
 




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