quote:Zephram Cochrane gave birth to Captain Kirk as he married Spock who met Chekov who sat next to Sulu. Sulu then had his fun with Uhura which tells Scotty which meets Captain Picard who tells Riker which consults Troi. She then tells Geordi and Data who creates Worf who tells Captain Sisko. Sisko gived birth to Dax who has a kid named Odo. Odo then has evoloves to become Quark. Quark buys O'Brian who gives Jake to Julian. Julian tells the Doctor of Voyager about Paris who gives Torres money to get 7 of 9 who gets Chekotay because Kim gets Tuvok to tell Captain Janeway about Q killing The Traveler who meets Weslet Crusher. So in theory Wes saves the Universe!
You mind elaborating on this a bit?
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Basically Jeff, when a man and woman love each other very much, they have "sexual intercourse". This involves sending money away to a big copmany, who will send you a machine in return. You attach this machine to both you and your partners nipples, while sitting back to back with your arms linked. The machine sucks fluids form the nipples (milk from the ladies, and Sunny Delight from the mans). This mixes together and forms a soft runny liquid known as "Arnold's accent". You then get married. Once you are married, the minister (or priest. Or, in certain situations, donkey), provides you with a watch. This is set to 9 months in the future. It is placed in the liquid. The female then has to sit on the solution for 9 months (if she has to go out, she can strap it to her stomach temporaily). After nine months, you take the solution to the bank, and they'll give you a baby in return.
I believe that explains "birth" and "marriage". I shall explain "fun" tomorrow (since explaining "met" and "sat" would be insulting).
Posted by MeGotBeer (Member # 411) on :
a) So Matrix is in a fantasy world where Kirk and Spock had sex? Okay.
b) What does any of this have to do with Wesley saving the universe?
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
Liam should write some sort of satirical self-help book.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
Jeff, dude, I really think this is a joke. Posted by MeGotBeer (Member # 411) on :
Not a very funny one.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Oh, you're American, what do you know?
Posted by CaptainMike (Member # 709) on :
I like spaceships.. theyre cool
Posted by Wes1701E (Member # 212) on :
All of you, lay off the crack.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
"Not a very funny one."
Due to having no self-confidence, I must ask, are you talking about Matrix or me?
If it's me, then the aformentioned lack of self-confidence means that I will never be funny again.
Quiet Lee.
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
*snigger*
Posted by MeGotBeer (Member # 411) on :
I'm speaking of The Matrix's quote as not being very funny. Frankly, I just don't get it. I at first assumed he was speaking, you know, "metaphoricly" ... Cochrane producing Kirk and Spock (in a sense), who "trained" Chekov, who sat next to Sulu who apparently had "relations" with Uhura, who then tells Scotty (Matrix, "who", not "which") who apparently tells Picard this news during "Relics" who is so disturbed by this, he tells Troi, who passes this on to Geordi and Data who have sex and give birth to Worf, who tells Ben Sisko. Sisko has sex with someone and Dax is born, who has a kid named Odo. Odo turns into Quark, apparently then buys O'Brien as a slave (WTF?!), and O'Brien then gives his own slave, Jake, to Julian (Double WTF?!?!). Julian somehow meets the Doctor in regards to Paris, who gave Torres money to buy her own slave, Seven of Nine (Triple WTF?!) who gets Chakotay (let me guess: as a slave?) because Kim got Tuvok to tell Janeway about some insane plot involving Q killing the Traveler who would later meet Wesley, and I STILL have no idea why, "in theory Wes saves the universe."
Now, I'm sorry, Matrix, but that is very confusing and not funny at all.
You, Liam, are a barrel of laughs. If I lived in London, I wouldn't watch Comedy Central, I'd just follow you around laughing my ass off (not literally).
Posted by Vogon Poet (Member # 393) on :
Loads of people follow Liam around laughing at him, it's becoming quite a phenomenon.
Posted by MeGotBeer (Member # 411) on :
He's clearly the laughing-stock of London.
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
Which is an especially interesting situation when he's in Liverpool...
I do agree that the original quote in question isn't really all that funny by itself. But I assume there's a reference to something else that I don't know about, which probably makes it funnier...
Posted by Stingray (Member # 621) on :
My guess is that its a parody on the passages in the Christian bible describing how Jesus was begotten from such and such people extending all the way back to Abraham and Adam.
It seems to be both a jab at Christian theology and the obsessive degrees to which certain Star Trek fans take Trek (one could say, almost a religious degree).
At the same time, it ridicules the logic used to connect two separate literary creations (the Old Testament and the New Testament) and the logic used to weave several different (and realistically, entirely separate) television series.
That's how I see it, anyway. Quite clever actually.
Posted by MeGotBeer (Member # 411) on :
Ah. That makes sense.
I still don't understand why Wesley saves the universe (technically).
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
I doubt that's the case. If it were, it would just be a long string of "So-and-so begat such-and-such, and such-and-such begat whosis, and whosis begat doohickey" and so on.
Posted by Stingray (Member # 621) on :
Allegory is not a form with strict guidelines, nor is it to be taken literally in any kind of way.
Posted by Stingray (Member # 621) on :
And Wesley is supposed to be Jesus, the ultimate savior of the universe and of all mankind.
That's supposed to be a very disturbing thought. Or a very ridiculous one.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Jeff: If you lived in London, you couldn't watch Comedy Central. We don't have it. We do have the Paramount Comedy Channel though, which is similar.
Oh, and OI!
Posted by AndrewR (Member # 44) on :
I haven't read this thread past Psyliam's post - OMG Psyliam - you post some of the funniest stuff on these boards! LOL! I was laughing so hard I started crying! Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
(and I didn't think that was especially funny myself.)
Still, never mind. I propose a new forum to replace Voyager. The "Stroking Liam's Ego" forum, which is a task similar in scale to "Stroking Simon's Member", but give it what you can.
Posted by MeGotBeer (Member # 411) on :
quote:which is a task similar in scale to "Stroking Simon's Member",
I trust, to make the distinction of effort required, that you're:
a) aware of how much effort it would take to stroke your ego.
b) aware of how much effort it would take to stroke Simon's member.
In which case, how do you know how much effort it takes to stroke Simon's member? And, please don't answer that, it's one of those "retorical" questions.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
You can estimate how much time it would take to pain the Eiffel Tower. You can guess how long it would take to massage Simon's might organ.
Posted by MeGotBeer (Member # 411) on :
I can see, without estimating, that you left off a "t" and a "y"
Posted by Sol System (Member # 30) on :
You are all my members.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
Awww. How sweet.
Posted by Siegfried (Member # 29) on :
We are all his members? That's kinda kinky. What's the proper word for an orgy involving over 600 people at one time?
Posted by TSN (Member # 31) on :
"Really fucking huge orgy"?
Posted by MeGotBeer (Member # 411) on :
OoOoOoW
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
"What's the proper word for an orgy involving over 600 people at one time?"
Last Thursday at RAMA's house?
Posted by G.K Nimrod (Member # 205) on :
Nope, that's "Pumping Iron XIV: Lavish Lederhosen". No sex is allowed because of the potential berserker rages, during...you know.
Posted by PsyLiam (Member # 73) on :
