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[QUOTE]Originally posted by The359: [QB] Disclaimer: Some of you may not share the beliefs of me and what I say in this post, but I don't care for a flame war right now. I don't think I've ever come here to rant before. I guess I'll just shoot from the hip... This past week my family left town to go back to Indiana for a family gathering at my grandparents house. My dad and mom and little sister went. Me and my other sister (along with one of her friends) stayed home and took care of things. It's the first time that I can remember that my parents have left me on my own for this long of a period of time. And I have to say it has to be one of the greatest weeks of my life. I didn't really do anything, just sat at home taking care of the animals and running sprinklers/watering plants. I went out occasionally since my aunt, who lives 5 minutes away, kept inviting me and my sister over (although my sister always seemed to have an excuse not to come). It was just the fact that the three most annoying people in my life were absolutely gone. No listening to their annoying humor or nagging questions or having them try to pry into my life when all I want is for them to let me be and leave me alone. They hound me about when I will get a job, since I'm 19 and have yet to have a normal job (volunteering as a soccer referee for 8 years doesn't count). But it's the fact that they nag me about it that makes me not want to get a job. Because I know the instant I do go get a job, I'm going to have to listen to more annoying humor and "I told you so"s and hundreds of stupid nagging questions about my new job. Besides the fact that I am 19, I have no real reason to have a job. I'm not big on spending huge sums of money. A CD here, a DVD there, magazines every once in a while. I always had enough before (of course, this was while I got an allowance for a few short years), because money from birthdays and holidays always held me over. I never take money out of my bank account. Heck, I never even keep track of my bank account, my parents do. I live at home and put up with their annoyance because I'm stick in a community college because of severe lack of motivation in schooling meant any normal college wont look at me. I'm still not even clear on what I want to do with my life at this moment. I don't know what kind of job or education I want or anything. I guess I just never got myself out of the "high school frame of mind", where your only future choices were which elective classes you wanted to waste your senior year with. I guess I am just really really opposed to change. I hate change. Its annoying to be completly used to something and then having to dump it and start over again. During this week without parental supervision, I spent what was left of my cash (leaving me with a whooping $12) on phone cards so I could talk to Laura. You see, Laura and I have chatted in a Trek chat room for nearly 4 years now. We used to hate each other but...now we love each other. Literal love. Her relationship with her boyfriend of three years is ending (which, might I add, they also met in the same chat room). She's originally from South Carolina, which is somewhat close to where I am now (Pennsylvania), except a few weeks she moved to Seattle to live in her own apartment and be fully independent in life. Since she has no one she really knows out there except her ex, she's been talking on the phone with a lot of chatters. Specifically, me. I guess I should point out right now we've never met. We've just talked over the phone, traded pictures and stuff, etc. We talked almost every day that my parents were gone, for hours on end, about anything and everything. Her relationship with the guy who is now her ex, her relationship with me, and stuff that she misses from the chat room (she has no computer at the moment). And me and her want a relationship. I seriously love this girl, she's beautiful and wonderful and thinks like I do and makes me laugh and she's just exactly what I want. And she thinks the same of me. But she's on the other side of the country. I've never gone on a vacation. I have no money except what is in my bank account, and I doubt if my parents will be fond of the idea of me taking money out of there (if there is even enough), and I don't think my parents will even like the idea of it all ("People on the internet aren't real"). And I dunno, this is a huge change. And I hate change. So I'm stuck in the middle. I hate change so I don't want a job and I don't want things to be different then what they are now, but I want to get out on my own and go see Laura and everything. I can't do the later without change though. It's a mental battle between what the two things I want. My parents returned Friday, and I haven't talked to Laura since then, so I'm lonely and annoyed by my parents. I'm just wondering what the hell I'm going to do now. I think I actually for the first time in my life know what I want: I want to get away from my parents. I want to become independent. I want to meet Laura. And I think I have my solution: I want to go to Seattle. Now all I need is a serious kick in the ass so I can get some motivation to do this. Maybe I'll look for a job tomorrow... I hope this all made sense to those who read it. It's hard to write when there's a million things going through your mind. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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