posted
Disclaimer: Some of you may not share the beliefs of me and what I say in this post, but I don't care for a flame war right now.
I don't think I've ever come here to rant before. I guess I'll just shoot from the hip...
This past week my family left town to go back to Indiana for a family gathering at my grandparents house. My dad and mom and little sister went. Me and my other sister (along with one of her friends) stayed home and took care of things. It's the first time that I can remember that my parents have left me on my own for this long of a period of time. And I have to say it has to be one of the greatest weeks of my life. I didn't really do anything, just sat at home taking care of the animals and running sprinklers/watering plants. I went out occasionally since my aunt, who lives 5 minutes away, kept inviting me and my sister over (although my sister always seemed to have an excuse not to come). It was just the fact that the three most annoying people in my life were absolutely gone. No listening to their annoying humor or nagging questions or having them try to pry into my life when all I want is for them to let me be and leave me alone. They hound me about when I will get a job, since I'm 19 and have yet to have a normal job (volunteering as a soccer referee for 8 years doesn't count). But it's the fact that they nag me about it that makes me not want to get a job. Because I know the instant I do go get a job, I'm going to have to listen to more annoying humor and "I told you so"s and hundreds of stupid nagging questions about my new job. Besides the fact that I am 19, I have no real reason to have a job. I'm not big on spending huge sums of money. A CD here, a DVD there, magazines every once in a while. I always had enough before (of course, this was while I got an allowance for a few short years), because money from birthdays and holidays always held me over. I never take money out of my bank account. Heck, I never even keep track of my bank account, my parents do.
I live at home and put up with their annoyance because I'm stick in a community college because of severe lack of motivation in schooling meant any normal college wont look at me. I'm still not even clear on what I want to do with my life at this moment. I don't know what kind of job or education I want or anything. I guess I just never got myself out of the "high school frame of mind", where your only future choices were which elective classes you wanted to waste your senior year with. I guess I am just really really opposed to change. I hate change. Its annoying to be completly used to something and then having to dump it and start over again.
During this week without parental supervision, I spent what was left of my cash (leaving me with a whooping $12) on phone cards so I could talk to Laura. You see, Laura and I have chatted in a Trek chat room for nearly 4 years now. We used to hate each other but...now we love each other. Literal love. Her relationship with her boyfriend of three years is ending (which, might I add, they also met in the same chat room). She's originally from South Carolina, which is somewhat close to where I am now (Pennsylvania), except a few weeks she moved to Seattle to live in her own apartment and be fully independent in life. Since she has no one she really knows out there except her ex, she's been talking on the phone with a lot of chatters. Specifically, me. I guess I should point out right now we've never met. We've just talked over the phone, traded pictures and stuff, etc. We talked almost every day that my parents were gone, for hours on end, about anything and everything. Her relationship with the guy who is now her ex, her relationship with me, and stuff that she misses from the chat room (she has no computer at the moment). And me and her want a relationship. I seriously love this girl, she's beautiful and wonderful and thinks like I do and makes me laugh and she's just exactly what I want. And she thinks the same of me.
But she's on the other side of the country. I've never gone on a vacation. I have no money except what is in my bank account, and I doubt if my parents will be fond of the idea of me taking money out of there (if there is even enough), and I don't think my parents will even like the idea of it all ("People on the internet aren't real"). And I dunno, this is a huge change. And I hate change. So I'm stuck in the middle. I hate change so I don't want a job and I don't want things to be different then what they are now, but I want to get out on my own and go see Laura and everything. I can't do the later without change though. It's a mental battle between what the two things I want.
My parents returned Friday, and I haven't talked to Laura since then, so I'm lonely and annoyed by my parents. I'm just wondering what the hell I'm going to do now. I think I actually for the first time in my life know what I want: I want to get away from my parents. I want to become independent. I want to meet Laura.
And I think I have my solution: I want to go to Seattle.
Now all I need is a serious kick in the ass so I can get some motivation to do this.
Maybe I'll look for a job tomorrow...
I hope this all made sense to those who read it. It's hard to write when there's a million things going through your mind.
-------------------- "Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting."
-Steve McQueen as Michael Delaney, LeMans
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
You're 19, and you don't want a job? That's a bit old to be living off allowance, regardless of how much you do or don't spend, don't you think?
I've worked pretty much since I was 16, starting with Subway as a "Sandwich Artist" in 1994. Went on to Blockbuster, Sam Goody, Domino's Pizza and now Papa Johns. If you've got a reliable car and live in a fairly safe area, look into delivery. It'll wreck your car, but you can probably make a few thousand dollars in a couple of months.
Charles and Simon are both in that area, they can probably give you an idea about the dreaded CoL in Washington. But expect to work your ass off ((50-60 hours a week, if not more).
As far as Laura ... you're not going to listen, but if she's getting out of a long term relationship, the absolute worse thing for a relationship between you two would be if you jumped into a relationship. She needs her space for a wide variety of reasons. Try and give it to her. But don't be a "friend" (or at least, don't fall into the "friend" category, 'cuz then you'll never be in the "lover" category).
posted
We've already discussed our relationship, and we both know we've felt this way about each other for a while. It was blatantly obvious her relationship with the other guy was doomed, even she said it herself. There's just other stuff about it that I can't exactly divulge (real long story, please don't ask).
And I don't get allowance anymore, I just live off of holiday money. And I know I should have done this years ago, but I'm stubborn.
-------------------- "Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting."
-Steve McQueen as Michael Delaney, LeMans
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
I've never been in a relationship (never really sought to have one except once...she didn't want to have one and just wanted to be friends), so it's really up to you if you want to listen. I'd give her some room, time for her self to be alone so she can think about what she's been through and what she has in life. I don't know how long to wait, but do tell her that you're always there for her.
It would be wise to go look for a job asap. I know it's tough looking for one, so go to some staffing/employment agency. Call them up first and tell them you'd like their help. Go from there. They'll probably want to have you come to their office so they can size you up and see who you really are. You'll want to get some money first so if you do really want to go to Seattle, you've got the money. But, remember that it's a very big decision and so would take a lot of planning. And you'll want to do this before you head off anywhere. And take control of your bank account! Finally, about you're parents' nagging. If you don't get a job, you know they'll continue. Once you do get a job, they'll eventually stop
-------------------- Is it Friday yet?
Registered: Feb 2000
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Ed BWC
Ex-Member
posted
I work in Dixeland, the larget Confederate shop in North Carolina, and weve got an opening...
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capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
posted
Moving to Seattle, if I do decide to do that, wont be for at another 6 months, and more then likely over a year away, because I'm still doing the community college thing here. And I have to get my parents to like the idea.
Blah, this is why I never rant
[ July 14, 2002, 23:00: Message edited by: The359 ]
-------------------- "Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting."
-Steve McQueen as Michael Delaney, LeMans
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
My living situation. Oh, my. Oh my indeed. It is unique, my living situation. No, no, that is not true. It is not unique. But it is not a living situation from which anyone could derive much in the way of useful information. It involves a great number of late-night visits to 7-11, there to dine on things long since past their prime. It also involves going home for the summer.
Plus I live in Eastern Washington, and Charles, bless his heart, is originally from CALIFORNIA, which is a place...oh my, it is a place.
Anyway, my friend, my numbered friend, you and I are on a wavelength together. We're occupying a node. I could tell stories. Perhaps I will.
But if you really want to live, if only for a time, in or around the greater Seattle area, and are unsure of where you want your education to lead, might I suggest examining the following links:
Ok, I'm starting to get tired of pasting these. There are a lot of colleges in and around Seattle. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I can make no claims about the quality of the examples chosen. (Aside from two: The University of Washington is a Major School, as west coast state universities go. Good place to study medicine or, I think, marine biology. Those amazingly keen deep-sea vent ecosystems get a lot of attention from UW students. Also, people seem to say good things about the Seattle network of community colleges. Oh, and the Art Institute is well-respected, but not exactly easy to get into.)
Going to school on the other side of the continent is not going to be easy, and it certainly isn't going to be cheap. (As an undergraduate non-resident, expect to pay $5,089 per quarter to attend UW, with a tuition increase (Oh, how I cannot wait for the upcoming statewide tuition increase!) coming next year.)
But, if you are serious about wanting to enact some real change in your life, going to school in a far-off part of the Republic has its benefits. Not to mention that, should all things not turn out peachy with this distant girl, you will not have wasted your time.
While Charles can provide the sort of day-to-day living information, I can share at least some tiny amount of knowledge about going to college in the area. (UW: rainy. CWU: windy. WSU: beer-tinted. Evergreen: hippy.)
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
I should point out that, technically, she does not live IN Seattle, we just merely say Seattle for simplicity sake. She actually lives in Ellensburg.
But I dunno about all of this right now. It's an idea that simply seems to work with the way things are right now. I make no guarentees.
-------------------- "Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting."
-Steve McQueen as Michael Delaney, LeMans
Registered: Mar 1999
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