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[QUOTE]Originally posted by LOA: [QB] Figured I'd chime in with a "hello" here.... these last few weeks have reminded me deeply of all the things that have changed in my life - like my lack of flare. But a recently noticed fight on my sister's facebook page about which is bigger - a galaxy class vessel or a romulan warbird REALLY brought things home to me! I mean, first of all - amateurs! second of all, Facebook didn't even exist when I used to spend all my time here at Flare, ya know? So, Lee, I'm sorry to hear about all of the family health issues. I know how rough those can be when it's the adults that are impacted - I can't imagine what it would be like if it was my son...truly, my heart and prayers go out to all of you... Speaking of my son, he's 2 years old now, and thinks he owns the world. His father has so far chosen to have nothing to do with his life, but that's his loss. I actually prefer it this way because it's less drama down the line if I find a man that I think is worth MY while and would BE a good dad to my son :-) It's rough though, because my son is already showing signs that in some areas he's highly intelligent. Like his vocabulary that rivals a 3 or 4 year old - and he NEVER stops talking! (wonder where he got that from?). But also he has already picked up on the fact that the other kids at daycare have dads and he doesn't and keeps asking me why. I knew the question would come - just didn't expect it so soon. But I just try to take things one day at a time and I get by. Scott (the ex) really did a number on my as he tore out of my life, leaving me for his best friend's wife (classy, right), then telling me at like 32 weeks preggo that he wasn't ready to be a dad or help out at all and I was on my own. Among other things. All in all, it pretty well tore my heart, mind, and self-esteem to shreds. Because I needed that while being sick AND preggers, right? Anyway, after many years and lots of work, I'm doing better. I have an excellent pain management therapist who has helped me to start dealing with some issues finally - poor guy probably thought he was helping before, but he didn't know what the issues were. Up until 3 weeks ago he'd never heard me swear, crack a dirty joke, laugh, or even talk about car audio. I think he truly thought I was the low-key, toned down, concervative, amish type of girl that sat on his couch each week. Once he realized there was something more, we both realized I'd lost myself somewhere in the void of being sick, isolated, and being told by Scott that NO ONE was ever going to want a gimpy woman with a kid at her side for a date, let alone a relationship. Since that little breakthrough, I've been trying to have bigger breakthroughs. I've reconnected with people that used to make me smile. I've stopped avoiding a guy that kept asking me to get together on facebook whenever he was in town since- oh - early 2010. We went to school and church together as youth. Now he's doing great for himself in Seattle and I'm doing the best I can on the other side of the state, but he doesn't seem to be scared off by me. We talk daily, and I feel more like me than I'd even realized I'd lost in myself. I just feels good to laugh and be funny. And it gives me hope to know that maybe that happy person is coming out again. And while I'm not looking for a relationship with this guy, there's been some flirting, and I'm not opposed to it - who woulda known? As far as my physical health goes, that's a battle. The migraines are doing better, by the grace of some wacky alternative physical therapy, but the sleep, the body pain, all the other issues are still a challengs. We did find out that my autonomic nervous system is totally haywire. I was firmly diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome and Autonomic Neuropathy, along with a few other things under that umbrella. That's why my resting heart rate has always been so high (sitting here right now it's 135) and my BP so low. It's also likely why It was so hard to treat my migraines- we were looking at my head for answers when the issue is the incorrect constriction of vessels due to the Dysautonomia. The weird heart rate should've been our clue, but it's rare so no one saw it. Currently, I'm doing PT, OT, Restorative Yoga, Water therapy, Pain management therapy, Saline infusions 2x a week, and on a spacial diet to try and resolve some of it, not to mention meds. Not a huge help yet, But at least it's an answer. And with answers come hope. Plus I got Dragon for my computer so I can almost use it again. It's still rough going at times, but without it, I can't use it at all as typing is impossible. So that's my update. Probably won't bring me around much more as going to the dr is like a full time job now, but I'm getting paid something through my work's long term disability leave, plus the state garnishes child support, much to Scott's disdain, and we're currently working on an SSDI claim. Sad to be only 30 and have to do that, but it happens. I hope things are going okay for everyone that's left out there... ~Liz PS- Omega, I may just get to spend some quality time at Vanderbilt in their Autonomic Dysfunction specialty area if the specialists up here don't start making progress soon. If it happens, I'll let you know. Wouldn't THAT be a crazy Flare reunion? Me, Omega, and his wife? Luvs it! ;-) Oh - and for the Seattlites, my guy I've been talking to is over there. If it turns into something good, I may be over there more, too.... Here's a pic of my Nathan - 2 going on 20 [IMG]http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b371/Photo_Sheila/COMMANDER/Christmas%202011/DSCF9773.jpg[/IMG] [/QB][/QUOTE]
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