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The return of....THE FNN!
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by JeffKardde: [QB] <h2>STARFLEET CAPTAIN INVESTIGATED ON SEXUAL MISCONDUCT CHARGES</h2> By Miguel Molina, special to the FNN <small>The captain of a top Federation starship is being investigated after complaints of 'sexual harassment' -- Starfleet refuses to comment</small> The Horta Ambassador was the first to voice her complaints after apparently being harassed during a trip to Ho'lii III aboard an unamed Federation Starship. "It was in-excusable for a Starfleet officer," she said angrily. "Admiral Cartwright has promised me action will be taken." An FNN investigation revealed that two Starfleet ships made the journey from Earth to Ho'lii III in the time frame estimated from the covered-up actions, those ships being the [i]Lexington[/i] and the [i]Enterprise[/i]. Commander of the [i]Enterprise[/i], James T. Kirk is currently recovering after a distressing "incident" with his toupee, but a senior bridge officer who did not want to be identified was quoted as saying, "I always caught him looking up my skirt. Damn skirt. I probably should've worn some panties." James T. Kirk has always had a reputation as a "ladies man". Captain Menendez, a former classmate, told us stories of all the girls Kirk would manage to "hook" up with during their cadet training cruise. "The Captain has never performed in any way other than his proper duties," Second Officer Montgomery Scott told FNN when asked about Kirk's rumored liasons. Chief Medical Officer Leonard McCoy had to be sedated after an uncontrollable laughing outburst when we asked him the same question. First Officer Spock arched an eyebrow and otherwise did not answer. Of the one hundred and nineteen women assigned to the [i]Enterprise[/i], ninety-six giggled and walked away blushing after being asked the same. This reporter places his money on James T. Kirk making out with a molten rock. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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