posted
Tomorrow is Saint Valentine's day, a time for romance, love, and appreciating that significant other in your life. Some of us, however, are just a little bitter, either because we have not yet been pierced with Cupid's arrow, or because the sweet arrow of love seems to have become a fusillade of hostile machine-gun fire. For those who currently find the concept of romance distant, difficult, or painful, I propose the following holiday:
Almost Valentine's day.
We could hold it (appropriately enough) on the 13th of every February. This date would be multiply appropriate, as 13 is a traditionally unlucky number, and some of us either haven't reached the point where we can truly celebrate Valentine's day, or are enduring a lack of affection (or a surplus of it's opposite) at this time.
Almost St. Valentine's day would be a time to remember loves never consummated and romances that turned sour; a time for the unlucky in love to comiserate and otherwise ventilate their spleens at a time when their lack is most keenly felt, the day prior to the one where success in love is celebrated.
It's also the day with all the "This is your last chance to buy him/her what he/she wants before Valentine's day!". On the day itself, the stores are already throwing the heart-shaped boxes of candy into the bargain bin and returning the holiday-themed greeting cards to the warehouse, in preparation for Easter and Passover. For many, it's just another workday. It's easier to ignore Valentine's on the day itself than it is at any time immediately preceding it.
------------------
quote:"As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents."
posted
Are you a psychic or something, Baloo? This is just the kind of holiday I need!
------------------ Ross: "Inter arma, enim silent leges." Bashir: "'In the time of war the law falls silent.' Cicero. Have we become a 24th-century Rome, driven by the fact that Caesar can do no wrong?!" -Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges
posted
Here's a few thoughts to get everyone in the proper spirit (courtesy of a well-timed email from Gravie):
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. --Sacha Guitry
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. --Jackie Mason
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
------------------
quote:"As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents."
Printer-friendly view of this topic
