posted
Found these at the same place as the chinese proverbs
REJECTED STATE MOTTOS ALABAMA Literacy ain't everything Ya want fries with dat? ALASKA Come, freeze your butt off ARIZONA Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds ARKANSAS At least we're not Mississippi CALIFORNIA The Granola State Nobody's actually from here Fast reloading lanes available The really long state COLORADO Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here Official home of the winter ski bunny CONNECTICUT Way too close to New York DELAWARE You'll need a map to find us So close to Washington you can smell it FLORIDA The Gunshine State Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die Senior citizen discounts available Come, enjoy the humidity The snow capital of the US GEORGIA Home of the Rednecks Gateway to Florida Confederate money welcome HAWAII Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over Book 'em Danno Tom Selik, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise! Come, get lai-ed IDAHO Ain't nothing here We don't care if you spell potato with an "e" Land of a billion "eyes" ILLINOIS Land of the voting dead Gateway to Iowa INDIANA Home of David Letterman IOWA Just east of Omaha It's easy to spell KANSAS Hayfever capital of the Midwest Dole slept here There's no place like home Ya want flat, we got flat KENTUCKY Tobacco is a vegetable We're all related Gateway to Nashville LOUISIANA Swim the beautiful Bayou Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will never hurt you MAINE For Sale You can spit on Canada from here MARYLAND If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us MASSACHUSETTS Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the home of Ted Kennedy, hmmmm... MICHIGAN Land of the free, home of the Buick MINNESOTA Not Sweden, but we try to act like it Sure beats Canada MISSISSIPPI We're lucky we can spell it Why would you want to come here? MISSOURI Gateway to Kansas Here's mine, Show Me yours We're better than Illinois MONTANA Land of the Big Sky, and very little else We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods It's where you're wanted. At least our cows are sane. NEBRASKA More corn than Kansas Go to Kansas, turn north NEVADA More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too) 2 words - Death Valley 3:5 you'll leave broke We have our own nuclear testing site NEW HAMPSHIRE Like Old Hampshire, only newer About as exciting as Vermont NEW JERSEY You have the right to remain silent, You have the right to an attorney... Tell 'em Guido sent ya NEW MEXICO Lizards make excellent pets We have reservations Alien Welcome Center - Roswell NEW YORK At least we're not New Jersey! We're more than a big city; we're a state Like we CARE about a motto English spoken here; sometimes NORTH CAROLINA Five million people; Fifteen last names We're bigger than South Carolina NORTH DAKOTA The OTHER South Dakota OHIO Don't judge us by Cleveland Proud polluters of Lake Erie We're easy to spell OKLAHOMA We're OK, you're NOT! I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto OREGON As pretty as California but not as weird We're not named after a musical instrument You can see the sunset from here PENNSYLVANIA Cook with coal Free lub job with oil change RHODE ISLAND Size ain't everything Nobody famous came from Rhode Island SOUTH CAROLINA Just south of North Carolina SOUTH DAKOTA Closer than North Dakota TENNESSEE The Educashun State Thank goodness we've still got Elvis A great fixer-upper TEXAS Si Hablo Ingles See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas! UTAH Our Jesus is better than your Jesus At least our sheep can't talk VERMONT Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns VIRGINIA Please don't confuse us with West Virginia! WASHINGTON We like our state, so STAY OUT! WEST VIRGINIA Where "family values" has a different meaning WISCONSIN Land of funny accents. Say "Cheeeese" WYOMING Where men are lonely and sheep are scared
------------------ I am not responsible for the stupidity of other people.
"Hell, I even thought I was dead till I found out that I was just in Nebraska."
------------------ Ohh, so Mother Nature needs a favor? Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts, and plagues and poison monkeys. Nature started the fight for survival and now she wants to quit because she's losing...well I say "Hard Cheese"! ~C. Montgomery Burns
posted
Well, it's good too see that there's nothing to mock about Missouri. None of the jokes about it there made much sense, much less were they funny... ;-)
------------------ Jay Leno: "In the story of 'Jack and the Beanstalk', what did the goose lay?" "Bosco": "Everybody." -The Tonight Show, "Jaywalking"
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