Jerry Springer:
"So Charles, what have you come here to tell us today?"CC: "Well, Jerry, I wanna tell my girl that I'm not really who I say I am."
JS: "How is that, Charles?"
CC: "I'm not actually Charles."
JS: "Who are you, 'Charles'?"
CC: "I'm Charles evil twin, Paulie."
JS: "Wow. So you've Charles locked up, bound and gagged, in a dingy basement somewhere, with only the rats as companions?"
PC: "Yeah, pretty much. How'd you guess?"
JS: "It's what I did to 'Good Jerry'. But what about you and Charles' girl?"
PC: "Well, I think she doesn't suspect a thing, but you know, I'm supposed to be evil and stuff, but I just wanna come clean and tell her the truth."
JS: "You're gonna get your chance - Jubilee, come on out!"
Jubilee: "Hi, baby."
PC: "Hey."
JS: "Charles, don't you have something to tell Jubilee?"
PC: "Honey, you know when I went away for a few weeks last year and never explained to you where I was?"
Jubes: "Yeah..."
PC: "I'm not who you think you know I am."
Jubes: "Whaddya mean Charles? What's so different?"
PC: "I'm Charles' twin brother Paulie."
Jubes: "What!??! Then who the hell am I cheating on you with??"
JS: "Charles, come on out!"
PC: "YOU!"
CC: "yes, it is I! I escaped from your nefarious dungeon two months ago. I wanted to tell Jubilee, my love and my light, the truth, but she seemed so happy with you. So I seduced her, told her I was a Leichtenstein duke living in exile in New England. She remained faithful to you almost to the last, doppelganger, but there's only one Chuckmeister baby, and she knows it!!"
JS: "We'll be right back after these messages. Stay with us."
*ducks into magic mirror, and braces himself for the flak*
------------------
Devil: Oh look at the time! I'm late for services.
Stone: Services?
Devil: A group of young teenagers that have been celebrating the Black Sabbath are planning on deep-sixing their gym teacher tonight. I'm gonna go and give them a little encouragement.
Brimstone. May it rest in syndication.
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