Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of
egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to
market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup
when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went
flying and broke and made a mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the
teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Lucy raised and hand and said, "Our family
are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat
market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they
hatched we only got ten live chicks and the moral to
this story is, don't count your chickens until they're
hatched."

"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a
story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt
Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert
Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over
enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the
whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then
she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until
she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more
with the machete till the blade broke and then she
killed the last ten with her bare hands.

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind
of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible
story?

"Don't fuck with Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."

My mom's named Karen, but I don't think she drinks or was in DS.

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Beer lovers take note:
Stroh's spelled backwards is "shorts."

http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/

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Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time!!
Gandalf