There are nine days left until 2001. How can I, you, anyone be expected to fit an entire future into nine days? It's impossible, like filling in the craters of the moon with cheese or milk. I have never wasted a year before, but I have wasted this one. I have wasted every year I've ever lived, and half the ones I didn't. It's all contradictions, but who cares. Do I? Do you? The radio doesn't, nor does TV, or Bryant Gumble or Gumby or anyone at all.
I've had an interesting 2000. It wasn't how 2000 was supposed to be. I hated 2000. So it's a brand new year. So is every other one. Sure, we're stepping into the future, but we do that everyday. Nothing is special, nothing is sacred. Nothing is.
Which is, of course, stupid existentialist pap. Garbage. I've never even read Sartre or Camus. I would never ever wear a beret, unless it made me look incredibly fun and cool. That's what I want to be more than anything. Maybe not even cool. I want to be fast and funny and a gleaming metallic monster, eyes of burnished chrome and teeth of ivory. No, whiter. Teeth of light. I want to burn out retinas when I smile. I am young and angry and so powerful it makes the old women weep.
Do you know that I never see old women anymore? I don't know what happened. I used to. I think they just faded away into the wallpaper.
"Is there a point, Simon? Ha ha ha, it's all a good laugh, yes we love you and need you and worship you and taunt you mercilessly. What more do you want?"
I don't know. Everything. The planet.
As I said, 2000 was supposed to monumental, and it wasn't. My life was supposed to be charmed. So far, nothing.
What about you?
"You see? You see!? A segue. I knew it all along. He reads the wrong books. He stays out too late watching bad films. Then he comes home and just babbles for hours, copying the styles of both. Shame."
posted
No, it was a flop year, little in it has gone right, and little of what went right went well. So this you should be called something... The Year of Flop Year of the High Expectations with a Low Yield?
posted
Its all because everyone celebrated the new millenium incorrectly last year. If they had realized their stupidity and celebrated it this year, everything would have been fine.
------------------ Greg: You bought me a urinal cookie? Mike: Not just any ordinary urinal cookie! It has the AOL logo embossed on it! -www.userfriendly.org, 12-08-00
posted
Ah, but what a New Year's it was last year ... was in DC for it. This year I'll be at some party getting trashed. Ah well!
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 7.5 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Come the millennium, month 12, In the home of greatest power, The village idiot will come forth To be acclaimed the leader --Nostradamus, 1555 (Allegedly) *** "Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is - I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president." - George W. Bush
BTW, that Quantrain isn't allegedly by Nostrodamus. It isn't.
Sol: I have no meaningful thoughts to contribute, as don't the most of the repliers here. I suppose, to ensure that the bulk, if not all, of 2001 goes at leas t a little right, you should endeavour to purchase a PS2. Apparently, it's quite meaningful, and fulfilling, as thousands of lonely, bald, blanched middle-aged men have obtained one, and it has gave them solice in their basement homes, and made their lives exciting again, as their new goal in life is to beat that new Tekken game. I've heard it's quite fun.
------------------ "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry
[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited December 23, 2000).]
posted
UM, you so much as look at my dick, I'll have ta kick you. Of course, you'd be so amazed at its rather large size (my nickname to a select few is "Washington" after the Washington Monument, because its so friggin' big -- one girl refused to have sex with me, telling me, "that ain't going to fit!"), you'd probably want to pick your drooling jaw off the floor first.
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 7.5 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Come the millennium, month 12, In the home of greatest power, The village idiot will come forth To be acclaimed the leader --Nostradamus, 1555 (Allegedly) *** "Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is - I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president." - George W. Bush
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited December 23, 2000).]
posted
Well, as much as I enjoy the rational, intelligent and cultured world of Penis measuring conversations - no really, I truly do, nothing beats talking to someone with whom I don't care at all about, someone whom I'll never meet, and for all I know, could be a 72 year old enuch, about the length and desirability of their genetalia.
I believe I'll respectfully decline your offer to go down (pun could be intended) on this road of unsubstantiated bragging and immature alpha male behaviour. As much as I respect any male who feels the need to discuss their member with me, I'm afraid this is not the time nor place.
Sincerely, Ultra Magnus.
------------------ "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry
posted
No problem, Ultra, especially since you were the one who offered to go down
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 7.5 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Come the millennium, month 12, In the home of greatest power, The village idiot will come forth To be acclaimed the leader -Anonymous (Happy now?) *** "Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is - I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president." - George W. Bush
posted
Any conversation about penis size is pointless, as long as we have Simon "Enormous shaft" Sizer in our presence.
Jeff R: I will kill you.
Personally, I've had a rather good year. I lived with some friends for the first 2/3rds, which was great. Not fun ,as such, but nice, relaxing, enjoyable. And for teh last third I've (finally) gone to university, and I am pretty much having a great time with the drinking and the going out and the playing of Smackdown 2 and FIFA 2001 and the laughing at the fat heffers who are sleeping their way through every ugly and desperate man from thiscountry, or any other. Fortunaly, that hasn't included me, but I'm sure they'll have a go in Janueary *shudder*.
I also got God Magnus, which means I can create God Fire Convoy, who is, quite possibly, the coolest thing ever. I wish I was 9again. He's so much better than the stupid Pretenders I had to put up with as a kid.
So, to sum up, go sports!
------------------ "I am in one of those rare periods of life where I am convinced I am a sexy devil."- Simon "Sol System" Sizer
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 7.5 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Come the millennium, month 12, In the home of greatest power, The village idiot will come forth To be acclaimed the leader -Anonymous (Happy now?) *** "Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is - I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president." - George W. Bush
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.83 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Come the millennium, month 12, In the home of greatest power, The village idiot will come forth To be acclaimed the leader -Anonymous (Happy now?) *** "Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is - I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president." - George W. Bush
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