posted
Chinese-Canadian. . . there's a joke in there somewhere, but I can't put my finger on it. I've been hangin out with Americans too long, it seems. But I do agree, it's tricky trying to sum up anything like this.
I mean, last night I was in the pub with a group from work, and one guy who supports Millwall decided, once he was drunk enough, to regale us all with his collection of football chants designed to denigrate anything slightly Irish. With a name like mine (no, not the one I post under) and coming from a family that hails originally from Ulster - Catholic Ulster at that - you can imagine I'd take a dim view of it. Although I'm not Irish, my ancestors were, and I know how these racist fucks think. I decided not to say anything since everyone was ignoring him (he's a pissant office boy anyway, won a few grand on the lottery and thinks he's wonderful). So I just sat there and catalogued ways I could kill him with my bare hands or implements available. I got up to 17. . .
------------------ Luke Ford: "What's it like having a dick in your ass?"
Zoe: "Imagine taking your bottom lip and pulling it over the top of your head. You get used to it but it does hurt."
posted
Let me put it to you in another way, oh mucusy one Most of my countrymen would much rather nuke your countrymen off the face of the earth, than talk to you. I'm trying to step outside that little err...'thought process' by opening some sort of dialogue and understanding of the basic tenants of your culture. Fair enough?
posted
Would that be a good idea? You'd kill off all the polar bears, and your new spinoff show 'Polarbear Hunter' wouldn't work out great. Not that it would work that great if you didn't nuke them.
"Naw, lookie here Mate, I got me a nest of them Polar Bears. Watch the mothers reaction as I take her babies. Now let me see here...nggkkk...saaaaaahhhh......mmyyy.....arrmmmss..."
That = Unentertaining TV.
------------------ "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry
posted
Erm, nuking Canada would be a bad idea. Besides we're used to winter...nuclear winter can't be "that" bad.
Hmm.... I have a few minutes to kill, I guess I can create...just to kick start the discussion:
A Brief History of China and the World (Plus a pinch of America and a dash of exaggeration)
1) The world is created and humans evolve. 2) Politicians show up, evolution is promptly thought to have been a bad idea, and is forgotten. 3) Humans move out of Africa looking for a good air conditioner. Some go to Europe, some go to China, etc. 4) Cities are founded. 5) First contact bewteen China and the western world when Rome and Han Dynasty China met up. They flip a coin, and for the next millenia Europeans come to China to buy silk, porcelain, and spices. 6) Rome falls, dynasties come and go, Silk trade route is cut off by Islamic countries.... 7) Europeans are pissed. 8) China sends ships to Africa and Australia, they get bored and go home. 9) Europeans send ships to China via the India ocean. Along the way they conquer various small countries. China pretty much ignores them and tell them to go home. 10) Europeans are pissed. 11) Other Europeans go across the Atlantic and accidentally run into America. After killing off most of the Indians with smallpox and varius diseases, they take over. Eventually the States declare independence, Canada is slightly annoyed. Meanwhile, they forget the whole point to crossing was to get to China. 12) Europeans are pissed. 13) Since China is mostly ignoring Europe, they sail into Japan, blow up a few ships and buildings, and declare it to be open for trade. Meanwhile Jesuits annoy the Emperor with cries of "Convert to Christianity and get a free wristwatch." Meanwhile the Europeans invent Communism and send it over to Russia. 14) Japan gets fed up with being discriminated against and blows up Russian Manchuria and declares war on China and other fun stuff. 15) Europeans and China are pissed. 17) World War I and II: Japan blows up Pearl Harbour, China is invaded, and breaks up into Nationalist and Communist factions. 18) Europeans and Americans and China are pissed. 19) Atomic bomb dropped on Japan, China unified under Communist rule and pushes out Nationalists to Taiwan. Cultural Revolution occurs and is a "bad thing." Nuff' said. 20) In revenge Taiwan floods the world's econmy with cheap electronics and toys...and Japan takes over the American economy. 21) Cold War occurs, Russia falls, America needs new scapegoat, Islam and China are chosen. 22) Everybody is pissed.
Erm... I'll summarize culture and other stuff when I'm slightly more awake. But a general rule of thumb is... paraphrased: If you prick us, do we not bleed? aka....we share 99% and up of the same genetic code, there's more genetic difference between genders than races....how different could we be?
------------------ "The Guide says that there is an art to flying...or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Life, the Universe and Everything
[This message has been edited by Mucus (edited December 30, 2000).]
posted
Does this thread title say Chinese Condoms or do I need new glasses?
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.83 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier ... just as long as I'm the dictator." - George "Dubya" Bush, Dec 18, 2000
------------------ "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry
posted
Well, they believed in this and that, invented gun powder and rocketry, invented a few saying and gave credit to some guy named Confusion..... Then they got bored with have the only civilization and started screwing like rabbits, changed their governments ideology after being invaded by the peoples that they picked on. Now they just sit there, beat their people every so often, and ask for trading from other countries....
They also helped build the railroad in America, United States of.
Other accomplishments such as female foot binding and the such are accredited to them also.
------------------ "One's ethics are determined by what we do when no one is looking"
posted
Wow. I'm enlightened. Anyone want to answer Daryus intelligently?
------------------ "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry
Thing is, most of these are going to be rather specific on their particular subjects. I mean, it would be as hard to summarize "Chinese culture" as it would be to summarize "European culutre."
------------------ "The Guide says that there is an art to flying...or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Life, the Universe and Everything
posted
And possibly a bit too abstract for the non-smart arses around here.
But if you're saying that learning about the Chinese from a secondary source doesn't compare to experiencing the culture yourself, doesn't that invalidate all Historians everywhere?
------------------ "And Mojo was hurt and I would have kissed his little boo boo but then I realized he was a BAD monkey so I KICKED HIM IN HIS FACE!" -Bubbles
Most of my countrymen would much rather nuke your countrymen off the face of the earth, than talk to you. I'm trying to step outside that little err...'thought process' by opening some sort of dialogue and understanding of the basic tenants of your culture. Fair enough?
Printer-friendly view of this topic
