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» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Community » Officers' Lounge » For all the wanna-b-Canadians out there... (Page 2)

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Author Topic: For all the wanna-b-Canadians out there...
Montgomery
Reigning Supreme
Member # 23

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Scored 8/40.
I'm afraid I'm just a simple Brit.

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"You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak."

- Chris Morris, Brass Eye


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Elim Garak
Plain and simple
Member # 14

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Poutine is a highly desirable dish *coughs* of french fries with gravy and cheese or something similar. I can imagine spilling it would be quite messy. (I personally hate it. It has the most popularity in Qu�bec.)

The ones I didn't get were the ones before my time and them alone.

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Quark: "Lesson number one: No one involved in extra-legal activity considers himself nefarious." (DS9: "The Sound of Her Voice")


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
monkeyboy
Ex-Member


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My my, I only got 28 out of those qualities!.

Does that mean I'm not a genuine Candian?>>>


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I did'nt do it.


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TSN
I'm... from Earth.
Member # 31

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Tahna: I understand all those except the toothpick one. Anyone else get it?

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"I see you've found your Nausicaan friend. You seem unimpaled so far..."
-Q to Picard, "Tapestry"


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Elim Garak
Plain and simple
Member # 14

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I believe Tahna is trying to point out that they're the same.

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Quark: "Lesson number one: No one involved in extra-legal activity considers himself nefarious." (DS9: "The Sound of Her Voice")


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Simon
Ex-Member


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Well I'm a life long Canadian, but I still have no idea what the heck "being on the pogey" means.
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Jaresh Inyo
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Pogey=Welfare
Hence, being one pogey means that your are one of the (far to) many who are drawing on welfare.

As of now, The_Tom and I are tied for being the truest Canadians in here. I think we should celebrate with a Molsons.

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Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift.
Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift.
Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...


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Simon
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Hey I got 36, and I think the Beachcombers question should be invalid for me since I was not of the age to be at all interested by that kind of show while it was on.

An interesting note about Kraft Dinner. It was originally named Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. The name it is known by now first came into being as a Canadian nickname for the product.


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monkeyboy
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Don't remeber the facts but is it not true that Canadians eat more Kraft Dinners as a percantage of Population than anyone else ?.

That makes sense to me.

Iv'e had three boxes in the last two weeks.

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I did'nt do it.


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Jaresh Inyo
Ex-Member


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I HATE Kraft Dinner.

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Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift.
Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift.
Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...


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Simon
Ex-Member


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Your right about Candians being the world's greatest consumers of Kraft Dinner. As well the world record holder for the most Kraft Dinner bought in a year is a Canadian.

(I actually happen to be eating some Kraft Dinner spirals as I write this)


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Aethelwer
Frank G
Member # 36

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On a vaguely related note, I was at a play tonight, one which revealed that God is Canadian. (And he likes to hit people on the head)

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http://frankg.dgne.com/
"[Steve Jobs] shouts at his employees a lot, using language you can't use on TV, not even on UPN." - Andy Ihnatko


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Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33

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Cocktail Swords are mini plastic toothpicks shaped like swords. Usually available in many decent and very clean restaurants, not like that American.

Something Else here........ if you can understand ALL of these jokes, then you should be considered an Honourary Canadian.......


TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the center of the universe
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election
4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Seperatist
5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a cool city
7. The only province with hard-core American-style crime
8. MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar
9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house
10. Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein

top 10 reasons to live in british columbia
1. Weed
2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges
3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
6. A university with a nude beach
7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
9. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on
10. Cannabis

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big Rock
2. Preston Manning
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approx. 200 percent
4. The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a grade 4 education
5. Flames vs. Oilers
6. Stamps vs. Eskies
7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
8. Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's
9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups
10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat
2. Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
4. Your province is really easy to draw
5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
7. YOUR Roughriders survived
8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
9. People will assume you live on a farm
10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beach front property
2. Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg"
3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government
5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
9. Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly" even when you cut someone off
10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by


TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole
2. Racism is socially acceptable
3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians
4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next
5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada
6. The FLQ
7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys
8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers
9. NON-smokers are the outcasts
10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards"

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken celtic fiddlers
2. One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income
3. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies
4. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours
5. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to Boston
6. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
7. You have French people, but they don't want to kill you
8. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse
9. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen
10. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. The only place in North America to get bombed in both World Wars ... by a moron who accidently set a munitions ship on fire
2. Your province is shaped like male genitalia
3. Everyone is a fiddle player
4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their ass
5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert
6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land mammal (har har har)
7. You are the reason Anne Murray makes money
8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to wear a kilt
9. The economy is based on fish, lobster, and fiddle music
10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big-ass bridge
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour
3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea"
4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from
5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows
6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave
7. You can drive across the province in two minutes
8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates
9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that matter
10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in Confederation
2. If Quebec Separates, you will float off to sea
3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss a dead cod
4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products
5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
6. You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics
7. The work day is about two hours long
8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines
9. If someone asks if you're from Nova Scotia, you are allowed to kick their ass
10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
monkeyboy
Ex-Member


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HEheh
That about sums it up.
U just make that all by yourself??


I feel like a Canadian again! I understand!

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I did'nt do it.


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Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33

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Both these posts were sent to me from a friend of mine, who happened to get them from a friend in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

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I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
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