Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ This one's to allllllll the ladies. You are all special to me, in your individual freaky deeky way. Ungh.
By Smoove B Love Man
Girl, if you have any question in your mind as to whether I can satisfy you, bring your body to me now.
Smoove B will satisfy you.
Bring it on to me, and I will love you like nobody can. I will sex you like nobody can. I will freak you like nobody can.
I am ready for you now.
Lay your body down, and I will show you love. I will drape you in the finest black silks. I will travel to the finest Asian nations to attain this silk. Then, I will run my fingers through your hair. I will caress your body slowly and whisper in your ear while I do so. I will tell you such things as, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world" and "Your skin is like the most expensive Swiss chocolate money can buy" and "Your eyes are like windows to paradise," and other romantic things that will make you tremble with desire.
I will hit you doggy-style.
All you have to do is tell me what to do and when to stop. And I promise, you will not want it to stop until the break of dawn. Bring your body to me now, and I will show you a night of love that you have never known. I will take you to a level that no lover could ever take you. We will be in the atmosphere. I will take you higher and higher, to heaven and even further. We will be love astronauts, colonizing other planets with our passion. We will bump to Jupiter. Grind to Pluto.
Damn.
The next morning, I will cook breakfast for you. I will fry up several eggs, each in a different style for you to choose from. There will be scrambled eggs, fried eggs, boiled eggs, baked eggs and even egg sandwiches. There will be a smorgasbord of taste sensations for your tender lips to enjoy. I will then pick a beautiful red rose from outside the bedroom window and put it in an elegant glass vase upon your food tray. The tray will be only the finest food tray from the far reaches of the earth.
I will also serve cereal.
Aw, please, girl. Bring your sugar to me, and I will show you that my back is strong. You will ride me all day and all night and will never want to stop. Baby, I want your brown sugar right now. Freak me on my desk right this second. Give it up to Smoove B. Take a ride on his Caravan of Love. I am the man of your dreams and desires. I will satisfy you, if only you would allow me the pleasure. I will swear on my honor as a man that I will do you right until the morning light. I will fulfill your every wish. And I will use oils if necessary.
So, in conclusion, let me summarize by saying that I will drape you in silk and hit you doggy-style, then I will feed you eggs of every kind and variety, and my back is strong.
Bring it on.
-------------------- "The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"
-------------------- "Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."-Mel Brooks
Registered: May 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
I never read anything longer than a small paragraph. It's usually a waste of reading skills. I did read the first part, it seemes odd, it's as though you've decided to be a gigollo. Well, good luck with your new job. And will someone please tell me what they think of my sig.
-------------------- Me- Hi Jen! What's up! Jen- You again??!?! Listen kid, I'm not interested in you. Stop bothering me, I'm a lot older than you and I have a boyfriend. How did you find my ICQ number anyways? Me- Oh, so just cuz you're a movie star now, and you're new album made millions, you think you're too good for me? Jen- Yes!!! Get it thorough your head! I am a person, I am not Jennifer Lopez the hottest woman on earth that everyone wants to sleep with, I'm a person, leave me alone!!! Me- Fine! Be that way! Me- Jen.... Where'd you go.... I love you... please come back.... please....
Registered: Mar 2001
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Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
Yeah, we thought it was from the Onion...weren't sure, though.
"I never read anything longer than a small paragraph. It's usually a waste of reading skills."
OK, that calls for final judgment. YOU, sir.....are an ASS GNOME. That's right. AAAASSS GNNNNOOOOMMMME! And no one gives a rat's ass about your sig. Besides, Jennifer Lopez is fucking dogmeat.
[ June 22, 2001: Message edited by: Shik ]
-------------------- "The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"
posted
Why am I an ass-gnome? That is friggin' mean! What the hell did I do to you? Just cuz I didn't feel like reading a huge post that you probably copied and pasted anyway? I'm sorry, but you are the ass-gnome here. And what the hell is an ass-gnome anyways? That is like the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
-------------------- Me- Hi Jen! What's up! Jen- You again??!?! Listen kid, I'm not interested in you. Stop bothering me, I'm a lot older than you and I have a boyfriend. How did you find my ICQ number anyways? Me- Oh, so just cuz you're a movie star now, and you're new album made millions, you think you're too good for me? Jen- Yes!!! Get it thorough your head! I am a person, I am not Jennifer Lopez the hottest woman on earth that everyone wants to sleep with, I'm a person, leave me alone!!! Me- Fine! Be that way! Me- Jen.... Where'd you go.... I love you... please come back.... please....
Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
posted
Um, no one is allowed to take a dump on me. Unless I know you very very well and provide me with lots of Dr Pepper. In that case, we'll talk about it.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
Ha! Jubes sounds like Stevie Kanarbin from "Malcolm In The Middle!"
-------------------- "The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"
Registered: Jun 2000
| IP: Logged
posted
I have only just started watching that, so I don't get what you mean.
Besides, I am too busy pooing on Seiggy from a great height.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
posted
Ha! I live in the UK. The Doctor Pepper cans are being delivered by good, old fashioned pidgeon. One at a time.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
Aren't you taking a risk that the pidgeons will shit on him too while delivering the cans, or is that your intention?
-------------------- Me- Hi Jen! What's up! Jen- You again??!?! Listen kid, I'm not interested in you. Stop bothering me, I'm a lot older than you and I have a boyfriend. How did you find my ICQ number anyways? Me- Oh, so just cuz you're a movie star now, and you're new album made millions, you think you're too good for me? Jen- Yes!!! Get it thorough your head! I am a person, I am not Jennifer Lopez the hottest woman on earth that everyone wants to sleep with, I'm a person, leave me alone!!! Me- Fine! Be that way! Me- Jen.... Where'd you go.... I love you... please come back.... please....
Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
posted
Birdy, birdy, in the sky dropped a present in my eye. I won't worry; I won't cry. I'm just glad a cow can't fly.
We chanted the oddest stuff in elementary school.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
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